Can You Bet On Every Horse In A Race? Betting Gods

what does it mean when you bet each way on a horse

what does it mean when you bet each way on a horse - win

Why did the garbagemen start coming in the dead of night?

I've been losing an average of 30 minutes of sleep every night for the past 10 days.
Now I’m down to a paltry 4 hours and 30 minutes, my walls are beginning to shift and my vision is blurring.
I have to focus. I NEED to focus.
Someone out there has to know.
Does anyone know why the garbage collectors have switched to the night shift?
Even asking it sends shivers down my spine. It’s late and soon I will hear them turn up to collect. I can’t sleep upstairs anymore, not where they can see me.
Now I sleep in the living room with my gun propped up against my shoulder, the weight a stern reminder that I am present.
I am awake.
I am a threat to them.
They won’t try anything if I’m a threat to them, right?
Fuck, I’m sorry. Let me explain.
My name is Tyson. I’m a farmer with a thriving family, a loving wife and two bright young boys. We live in a very remote area that requires a significant amount of divergence for basic services. I won’t say where, I won’t risk my family or my business, especially knowing what kind of armchair detectives there are out there. I respect what you all do and fear you in equal measure. So I’d rather throw you a bone you can thoroughly chew on as opposed to delving into mine and my famili’s personal info.
What I can tell you is this patch of land has been in my family for six generations, was not acquired illegally, built on sacred land, and to the best of my knowledge has NEVER had a violent occurrence or bloodshed.
We’re normal, hardworking folks who have always tried to do right.
Which makes what is going on here all the more difficult to understand, to quantify and reason with when the basic logic gives way.
I hear you, you’re undoubtedly scratching your heads and asking “why are garbage collectors such an issue?” and I don’t blame you. I’ll get to that.
Something shifted by the gates. No sound, can’t be the garbagemen, you hear them a mile off.
They’re not subtle about making their presence known.
The first night they turned up was so startling that I honest to god thought we were being robbed by the most unprofessional thieves this part of the world had ever birthed. Rambunctious, loud and borderline jovial in their candour.
It was always the same. Each and every time.
The sounds of the huge mechanical vehicle roaring as it drove up my dirt road, crushing twigs and kicking up dirt as it ground to a stop by the gates some 50ft from my front door.
Two thuds, boots hitting the ground, stumbling over to the main gate where our trash was left for the garbagemen on a Tuesday. Usually a couple of surly men got out, grunted, and hauled ass out of the area as soon as possible.
These two? Couldn’t have been happier to be there from the sounds of things. Young men, the smiles almost visible in their tone;
“This the one, Bill? Looks ready to me!”
“I reckon it is, Jeff! Let’s get ‘er done!”
A laugh, a high five, the sounds of something being dragged and thrown into the truck before they’d back out of the driveway and go off into the night.
Unusual, right? My wife & kids certainly thought so, especially when the trash was still there the next morning.
“Maybe they were some weird kids pulling a prank?” My wife Lucy remarked, taking a sip from her coffee and glancing nervously at the window. I think she was saying it more for our boys benefit than our own. I nodded and ushered them away from the windows, told them to go play.
The next night, it happened again. No specific time so much as that dead of night period between 1am and 3am when the world falls totally silent around you. None of our animals made a peep during that time frame, nor did we dare to.
Because when we heard them roll up again, we were paralysed with fear.
It took a few minutes to realise it, but when I looked to my wife and she returned my fearful glance with a wide-eyed stare and a nod, we scooped up the boys and huddled in our bed.
The exact same sounds. The exact same timed footsteps. The exact same conversation.
We heard them drag something wet into the truck before leaving after maybe 15 minutes. My younger boy Jace was always anxious and hearing this uncanny valley shit at his age sent him into a panic attack. We spent the remaining time soothing him while my older son Travis took to peering through the window with me.
Our pig pen that lay some 40ft to the right of the house had the door ripped off the hinges and a blood trail leading from the entrance all the way to the farm gates where the garbagemen had been.
When we mustered up the courage to inspect further, the pigs were silent, unmoving and staring at the long dirt road that lead away from the home, the tall trees that littered our farm looming overhead as if to silence them from telling what they’d seen.
We tried calling the city council to complain, but they were as perplexed as we were, said trash pickup day was still Tuesday and that since it was only Sunday, we weren’t due. They advised we filed a complain with the police for trespassers, but that yielded absolutely nothing.
In the meantime, things escalated.
Night 3 brought us the same routine, same sounds. Even after we’d taken to putting a lock on the pig pen, they still took one. This time making sure to leave a small pile of viscera behind, perhaps as a warning.
We elected to putting the animals in the barn and dead bolting it, hoping the pranksters would get the message and perhaps get bored. I’d ordered a cctv camera but with my location being so out of the way, it was going to take time to arrive and I wasn’t about to stand in my window with a camera pointed out at some weirdos.
We didn’t consider the consequences of this defiance.
It was Night 5. The boys were sleeping in our room and like clockwork; they showed up and pulled me from what little sleep I was getting, my wife soon after. Silently, goosebumps raised on our skin and a chill in our bones, we strained our ears against the open window, hoping to hear their frustration and subsequent decision to leave.
The routine continued until “Jeff” spoke to “Bill”.
The moment they opened their mouths, I knew something was horribly wrong.
“This the one, Bill? Looks locked to me!”
“I reckon it is, Jeff… Let’s pay ’em a visit.”
They rattled our front door knob and politely knocked at the door. Five rhythmic knocks, five seconds of silence, five more aggressive knocks.
I bolted downstairs and grabbed my rifle, keeping the lights off but my aim focused on them. Adrenaline pushing fear aside, if only to defend my family.
“I don’t know who the fuck you are, but you’ve been coming onto my property unannounced and I ain’t standing for it no more.” I pulled back on the bolt and the sound filled the room.
“You got three seconds to turn on your heel, or I’m firing!”
My eyes adjusted to the front door and in the darkness, two shapes stood behind my door, shrouded by the shadow of the night. They were tall, thin legs and bizarre movements… like they were swaying in place.
Those three seconds felt like an eternity.
“ONE!”
The shadow to the front leaned forward, trying to press its face against the glass. Something was wrong.
“TWO!”
It moved away and tapped the letterbox, testing if it opened up. When it did, it held it open and spoke as the second shadow stepped closer.
Three never came. Instead I backed away out of terror and barricaded our room, unable to speak.
It repeated my last words back at me. Exact same pitch. Exact same tone. But something was… off about it. Like hearing your own voice played back through old speakers, you sense an eeriness to it.
As i’d instinctively taken steps back, however, the other one spoke. This was the first Time either said anything that didn’t repeat and I swear to god it makes my heart pound in my throat just typing it.
“We have come to collect. Come outside.”
My legs carried my body before I could register what was going on. Rushing to the bedroom and locking it, I pulled my family in close and held my head down to theirs, desperate to block out whatever ungodly sounds erupted from our front door.
It took a half hour before they gave up, assumed their usual routine and left, the sound of the tires speeding off up the road bringing some degree of relief.
Until the following morning when our nearest neighbours, The Gundersons, reported a break in at their farm some 5 miles up the road. The perpetrators had smashed through the gate, entered the barn and done such violent acts to their cattle that of the ten that had been attacked and mutilated, only two survived and were immediately put out of their misery by the patriarch, Ted.
“You’ve been havin’ problems with these sons of bitches too, Ty?” He bellowed down the phone once I began retelling our sleepless events. “Shit, you sound like hell and probably look worse than the cows at this point. I ain’t havin’ it. You got a young family to support and when they hurt one of us, they hurt all of us. Tonight we put an end to it, ya hear?”
I nodded, agreeing to stake out our property that night and do whatever needed to be done. Hands still shaking, I grabbed a stiff drink from the cabinet. Never been much of a drinker, most of this was my dads for the tougher times. But if times weren’t tough now, I don’t know when the fuck they would be.
Ted rolls up around 11pm, wife and kids are asleep and we shoot the shit in the living room for a while, mainly discussing how the harvest had gone and what we could do to protect our livelihoods in this day and age. The conversation petered off as they often do when a night draws on, but it was as we fell silent that the realisation swept over us;
We were going to confront these people tonight.
I gripped my gun a little tighter as Ted gave me an assuring nod, peeking out the window for any signs of the garbagemen.
“Son of a… my farm!” He bellowed, springing to his feet and bursting out the door before I could get a word in edgeways.
He was halfway down the road before I could ask him what the fuck he was doing. He turned, his eyes wild with fear and rage, pointing a shaking finger to the small shape that was his house far across the hill.
It was on fire. Large pillars of smoke billowing forth as the fire danced in the light, illuminating the surrounding fields.
“I can’t sit here while my farm… my livelihood burns away, Ty. If those bastards are behind this… well, you can’t bet your ass they won’t last the night when I’m through with ‘em! I’ll teach ‘em a fuckin’ lesson about the value of things… the things people throw away.” He turned on his heel and ran to his truck, speeding off before anything more could be said.
This would be the only night the garbagemen don’t pay us a visit. I get a bit of extra sleep, but my wife doesn’t. She just stares out the window at the Gunderson farm in the distance and shakes her head.
She knows how there will be no help on the horizon.
She knows how close we are to that fate.
And seeing that scares me to death.
-
The 8th night. They arrive with no vehicle sounds, no grand build up to the crescendo of their routine. They whistle softly as if calling an animal, patient in their call as they scrape something around in the dirt.
I’m crippled by fear and cannot dream facing them, I look around in the dark and see Lucy is still asleep, Travis is snoring in the corner… but Jace… Jace is wide awake and transfixed.
And staring at the window overlooking our driveway, reaching out to open it.
I leap out of bed and just about tackle him away, the shock of waking up to such a violent affair sending him into a panic attack as the entire family snaps awake in a frenzy, shouting over one another as he cries uncontrollably.
“This has got to stop, Tyson. We can’t do this anymore… We can’t live like this…” Lucy was exhausted, her eyes barely open and her teeth chattering. In the moment of silence between us, the whistling started again, almost mocking in its tone if it weren’t for the sinister giggling behind it.
“SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE US ALONE!” She screamed, walking towards that same window. It took everything I had to hold her back as she fell to pieces in my arms, the entire family crippled by nerves and a lack of sleep.
It was only when one voice cut the air that the final nights events were set in motion.
“The things people throw away…”
Oh, fuck… Ted…
One look into my wife’s eyes and I knew what she was thinking. There was no stopping her.
She darted around, packing the kids’ clothes and any essentials she could find, ignoring the whistling outside and instructing our boys to focus on getting whatever they needed.
“You do what you need to do, I don’t care if the nearest town is a three-hour drive or I undergo the seven-hour drive to my moms. I will not stay another night in this fucking house. Not until they’re gone.” She was almost delirious, fuelled by fear and anger as she darted around like a hurricane, turning over tables to get what she needed as if prepping for a weather event. Within the half hour she’d been rushing around, the noises had faded and the outside once again fell silent.
I couldn’t leave the house. It’d been in our family's lineage for generations. We’d been born here, lived here and died here no matter what. As the head of the family, it was my job to stay here and protect it. Even if I couldn’t protect those that I loved most under its roof.
She waited another hour before getting in the car and leaving, kissing me with all the passion she’d had when we first met. I told Jace he had to be strong and that he’d one day conquer his fears because I believed in him. I told Travis that as the eldest; he needed to protect them like his life depended on it.
Then, just like that, I waved them goodbye and promised I’d join them at their mother in laws when this was over.
Now all that was left was to sharpen my resolve and find out what this was. I took the chance to try and get some sleep during the day, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t come to me. So, liquid courage it was.
One way or another, this was going to end.
-
Night 9. The penultimate night.
Not a sound. I mean that in the most literal sense. The wind didn’t move; the trees didn’t speak, not a single blade of grass danced and no dirt was kicked up.
Everything was silent. So silent. My own thoughts were amplified in this void of sound, every inane thought of what could happen flitted through my mind and forced me to double check every window and door. Triple check the locks, ensure no oversight was left.
Couldn’t let them get an opportunity. Even if it’s just me. I know they’re watching even now. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have said a shadow moved just behind the porch window. Can’t be sure, not without checking.
I think they were biding their time, keeping me on edge and making sure I *knew* they could step in whenever they wanted and do as they pleased.
But I kept my nerve, I resisted the urge to bolt to the truck. I’ve got my whiskey and I’ve got my gun.
I’ll see this through, even if it kills me.
-
Night 10. Now we’re all caught up.
I checked on the animals this morning. What was left was a pile of bones, flesh and waste. They’d been taken the night before and I don’t know how I didn’t hear during the silence. There was but one horse's body left, teeth marks riddled the torso, and the legs had been torn off.
Our crops had grown fetid, decayed and worn, nothing in our farm would yield a damn thing anymore.
My livelihood was decimated in front of my eyes.
Gone.
It’s late now, I’m sat in my armchair with the rifle loaded and ready. My hands are shaking and my knee won’t stop bouncing. I feel the dread start in my gut and worm its way through my chest before lodging in my throat and forcing every breath to be a labour of pain.
They came early tonight, truck roaring and routine sounds in full swing.
Only there weren’t two sets of thuds this time.
There were six.
They walked up to the porch, a shadow covering every facet of the window and the door panes. Not a spec of light coming through.
The voices don’t change their pattern, they never do.
“This the one, Bill? Looks ready to me!” They pound their fists against the window, a dull moan emanating from the background. Pained, muffled and growing in strength.
“I reckon it is, Jeff! Let’s get ‘er done!” Nails drag down the glass. A horrific groaning accompanying the repeated intonations of their godforsaken phrases.
“The things people throw away...” Ted… poor Ted smashing his head against the wall, repeating it with every sick swing.
It was only when I heard the fourth voice that I finally looked out the window, perhaps on instinct.
“Not until they’re gone.”
My Lucy. My sweet Lucy calling to me.
I can’t begin to tell you what I saw when I pulled back the curtains for just a split second, but every forbidden aspect of it is burned into my brain and it will not leave me even as I shut my eyes from the surrounding chorus of madness.
My kids… my fucking kids are now saying they’ve come to collect. That I must come outside. That whistle has come back, it’s… it’s almost soothing.
I can’t bear to do this on my own, I can’t live with that image in my fucking skull anymore. I miss my wife. I miss my kids. I miss sleeping soundly at night.
What if it is them out there? What if they’re really just wanting me to get help and my own sick mind has put me in such a state that I’m here, asking you for help on something that is, at its core, truly simple?
I’m going to put down the laptop and open the door. I have to know.
I have to.
Why did the garbagemen start coming in the dead of night?
Does anyone know?
submitted by tjaylea to nosleep [link] [comments]

Let's Cancel Religion

Even in the original Bible, it says the flood lasted for 40 days, and then not too far later on said it lasted for like 300 days. Moses led 600,000 men, 600,000 wives, and 1.8 million children out of egypt. There isn't enough rainfall in the desert for them to last a few days led alone 40 years. It's also a 6 day walk to Jerusalem from Cairo. All of the bodies around them were heavily salted. A sandstorm would have killed them all.
No where in the bible does it say that god is omnipotent, or all knowing. You just have people saying it. If he was all knowing, then he knew Satan would deceive Eve and unleash sin, which means he's either not all knowing, or he wanted sin to be unleashed. Speaking of omnipotence. He had to have Adam's rib to make Eve so he can't just poof something out of thin air. Let's not even go over the fact that names like Peter, John, Adam, etc. are European names. Because you know, it's believed to have been written in the early centuries. That's why no one questioned or have record of it. We have extensive records on everything since the beginning of language from 3800BC and no record of Jesus except in a manuscript that randomly appeared one day?
Jonah was in a whale. Whales sink down into the ocean and the pressure would have killed him. God doesn't interfere because of free will so there's no way he saved him.
If he's all powerful, then Satan would not be a thing. The reason god can't destroy Satan is because there's no story without Satan. It says that Satan must be released for a short time after 1000 years because they don't have the strength to hold him down. How do they get him back down? And that's very inconsistent because we Satan roaming around the Bible like nothing. In Job he really is just up in heaven chilling with god and was like, yo, you wanna make a bet? And then god let's him kill his family and servants.
The Bible was made by the elite back in the day for order and control. Think about it. Why would you fight in a war for your country if there was no after life? People willingly signed up to war because it was the thing that was going to get you into heaven. What about the poor? Oh, you're poor? It's better when you're dead, so don't worry about being poor.
The inconsistencies of the bible are numerous. To have the Ark make sense, it would need to be about 15x larger than it is and have the crew of at least 500. Imagine taking care of 30,000 animals. That's 60 animals per person. And if the Earth flood like it did in the bible, all of the water on earth would be salt water. But not only that, there is not enough water on Earth to flood it. If you released all of the water there was and thawed it all out, you'd lose about 20 miles of shoreline on each continent.
We are indoctrinated as children where we're sat down in Sunday school and told that if we don't love and obey this guy who we've never seen, he's going to BURN us for all eternity and you'll never see your friends or family again as you cry out in terror while being stabbed and burned alive forever and ever. It's stockholm syndrome 101. That's why it's so difficult to not believe. You might feel sick. Your cognitive dissonance will tell you I'm lying and it'll make up the most ridiculous lie to keep your original thoughts safe because that's what our brains do with conflicting information about any views. And you'll believe that BS.
//My notes//
• God is omnipotent so why can't he defeat Satan.
• If god is all knowing, why didn't god do something about Satan in the garden of Eden?
• If all things are as he planned, then he planned for Eve to steal and unleash sin.
• Jonah was in a whale for 3 MF days?
• Why do we fantasize so much about drinking and bathing in the blood of Christ?
• God gave us reasoning and logic, yet he's going to punish us for using that reasoning and logic?
• If anyone speaks out against the church, then it's Satan working through them to deceive them? Sounds like something a scammer would say "if anyone tries to tell you this is a bad deal, then that's because they're lying. They don't know what they're talking about."
• God loves us with all of his heart? Then how could he send his "children to hell" for reasons that are ultimately his fault. Would my parents torture me forever in a lake of fire? Absolutely not.
• Bible School is just indoctrinating children by mentally damaging them (stockholm syndrome) by telling them that this invisible god loves you, and that you'll spend eternity in paradise after you die from this shitty life; but only if you believe in him and undoubtedly do whatever he commands, if you don't, then you're never going to see your friends or family again while getting stabbed with pitchforks in a blazing inferno of everlasting fire and torture. But remember. HE LOVES YOU.
• We only believe in god because we're afraid of death. We want to believe it continues because it makes us uncomfortable if it doesn't, and we're uncomfortable in general not knowing if the universe recycles us; quantum physics suggests it does. (Just a side note, I'm much more comfortable knowing that I'll return to the abyss of nothingness, or potentially reliving my life in another dimension, or perhaps when the universe dies, it restarts)
• The pastopriest skips all over the Bible because if they read it out loud, people would start to realize how crazy it is.
• If Satan was real, he could easily fool us by coming to us in a different form disguised as jesus and deceive us all very hard. But, never once has he done anything remotely like that.
• God can't be all powerful if he can't stop a dude that can't even disguise himself to humans (see above) and he really can't be all powerful if he had to give his only son to "kind of" prevent sin. What the hell is that even? This guy can snap his fingers and create a universe, but needs to kill his son to eradicate sin?
• Everything that happens is according to God's plan. That's what everyone always says. So what's God's divine plan where he needs to give millions of kids cancer every year? Or have hundreds of thousands of humans raped every year? Why do some people's lives never get better even though they've prayed all of their life?
• Why do people pray if God has a plan for you? If you need something, it's going to happen or not whether or not you pray because it was already in the plan. Did he also plan for people not to believe he exists?
• Our minds are so powerful that we make up any excuse, scenario, or lie to keep our core thoughts in tact. If they're threatened, we go into defensive mode. Such situations would be "the devil is working through him to deceive others. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Well that's just plain not true. I never heard of that. Yeah, right. This person is really lost. I just choose not to believe what he's saying."
• Why did God make substances so addictive?
We believe in God because it helps us through hard times, or to have hope there's an after life. It's someone to comfort us in our head when things aren't going so well. But really, that inner voice was just you all along. And you know, it was very uncomfortable at first, but now I'm free from that torture and pressure. I use nearly every day to learn new computer skills because THIS is the only life I have, and I will waste it trying to do something great rather than hoping for an afterlife while waiting for death.
//End notes//
But I hope you heal and I hope you break free of that awful horrible religion. I studied the Bible for 16 years, and have read it front to back twice. It's 100% why THEY DON'T READ IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH. Haven't you wondered why they jump and skip whole sections in church. Because you're skipping over the eye opening material. Like, paying 100 silver shackles as a fine. Stoning a woman for having s•x. Lusting over a man's giant horse c•ck. That's seriously in there. Lol. But. Hope you get better! Take care.
submitted by Alehti to DeathByMillennial [link] [comments]

57 Non-Prog Albums for Prog Fans

Hi there again! You might remember my previous posts, including my tournaments, lists of songs and albums, etc. I’m really enjoying my exploration of tons of new music in a huge variety of genres, and I thought I’d make a list of recommendations specifically curated for the open-minded prog fan (hopefully, those exist!).
I picked some of my favorite albums I’ve discovered within the past couple years in many different genres that would especially appeal to you guys. I’ve definitely hinted at this in previous threads, but this time, I know the material a lot better – not just recommending based on one listen and only knowing a single album in a genre.
So here’s my list of non-prog (or borderline) albums that I think any prog fan would love. Pick any genre, and I bet you’ll find something amazing there. Italicized albums are especially recommended! (Yes, many of these are VERY popular, but there’s a good chance most people haven’t heard every one of them.)
Soul
Marvin Gaye—What’s Going On: Rolling Stone actually gets it right with this at #1 overall. Prog fans will love the perfect flow between songs and the super grand arrangements. Definitely a musical essential.
Stevie Wonder—Songs in the Key of Life: I mean, these songs are all perfect. You’ll love the dense grooves, and honestly, this is the one album that I cannot fathom a single person disliking.
Tyler, the Creator—Igor: moving to 2019, here’s an album with extremely detailed and complex production that’s popular, ambitious, and fantastic.
Janelle Monae—The ArchAndroid: ok, a neo-soul concept album about a messianic android in five suites WITH OVERTURES literally called Metropolis. Should be way more popular among prog fans imo. Brilliant pop songs.
Jazz
Fela Kuti—Expensive Shit: Fela pioneered the style of Afrobeat, which mixes Nigerian music with jazz-funk. Brilliant short album with two 10ish minute songs that’ll get you grooving. Definitely read the backstory of the title track.
Pharoah Sanders—Karma: unbelievable spiritual jazz album. At this point I’m just recommending my favorite jazz albums, because you definitely should check out the genre if you like prog, especially King Crimson.
Charles Mingus—The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady: the jazz masterpiece with the most complex and “proggy” composition, although it would be more accurate to say “Red” is the prog album with the most Mingus-y style.
John Coltrane—A Love Supreme: probably my favorite jazz album and certainly perfection.
The Comet Is Coming—Trust in the Lifeforce of the Deep Mystery: electronic space jazz fusion from 2019, courtesy of Shabaka Hutchings. One track sounds exactly like jazz “Starship Trooper,” and other has a brilliant spoken word passage on top of a speedy sax solo.
Indie
Joanna Newsom—Ys: masterpiece of modern progressive folk, once you get used to the vocals. The string arrangements are incredibly intricate.
Stereolab—Emperor Tomato Ketchup*,* Dots and Loops: chill yet harmonically complex band that blends noise rock, bossa nova, artsy indie pop, jazzy chord progressions, and French vocals into hypnotic bliss. Both of these albums are absolutely brilliant and should be mentioned here a lot more.
Sufjan Stevens—Illinois*,* The Age of Adz, Carrie and Lowell: in my opinion the best indie artist, Sufjan takes a different approach on each album. His masterpiece, Illinois, showcases a mixture of flashy progressive pop and melancholic indie folk – go listen to it now! The Age of Adz tackles pop songwriting with electronic overload and a 25 prog pop epic at the end, Impossible Soul. Carrie and Lowell features stripped down indie folk pieces and cuts at my heartstrings. Strongly, strongly recommend his work.
Sweet Trip—Velocity: Design: Comfort: shoegaze + glitchy electronic + indie pop, a great combination. They have a new album coming out this spring.
Pop
Shiina Ringo—Kalk Samen Kuri No Hana: combines the catchiest pop hooks with the craziest instrumentation and chord progressions. I cannot get enough of this album. It’s unbelievable.
Tears for Fears—The Seeds of Love: you know this album if you’ve ever watched a Steven Wilson interview. He’s totally right about it, brilliant.
Björk—Homogenic, Vespertine: I am absolutely obsessed with Björk’s music more than anything else in the world. Both of these are desert island discs for me. Her voice is just indescribable. Please listen!
Kate Bush—Hounds of Love: you’ve probably heard this mentioned as the greatest progressive pop album, and whoever said that has a point. The first half is loaded with pop bangers, and the second contains a prog-like medley that works just as well as the one on Abbey Road.
Talk Talk—Spirit of Eden, Laughing Stock: you might have seen Steven Wilson mention this 80’s experimental pop group. Super lush and ambient, yet profound. Called “post-rock” too, but I don’t like that genre title.
Sigur Ros—Agaetis Byrjun: ethereal Icelandic dream pop with gorgeous and emotive vocals from Jonsi. Absolutely one of my go-to comfort/emotional albums. Called “post-rock” too, but I don’t like that genre title (2).
“Experimental”/Metal/Post-Rock
John Zorn—Naked City: avant-garde jazz + grindcore punk makes for quite the entertaining experience. I’ve been meaning to check out “At the Mountains of Madness” too, which is apparently quite a gargantuan album.
Kayo Dot—Choirs of the Eye: I jokingly describe this album as “Avant-Garde Classical Ambient Doom Death Black Poetry Metal,” and yeah, that about sums it up. Not as heavy as the “Death Doom Black” section of that would suggest, but “The Manifold Curiosity” contains one of the most cathartic and powerful sections of music I have ever heard.
Agalloch—The Mantle: post-rock + (light) black metal + dark folk, for fans of Opeth. Despite the black metal tag, it’s not that heavy. I can actually sit through it and enjoy it, and the “worst” vocals feel almost like whispers.
Anna von Hausswolff—Dead Magic: she’s a talented organ player, but the real highlights here are her acrobatic vocals and astonishingly cathartic buildups. The 16 minute “Ugly and Vengeful” is beyond words.
Godspeed You! Black Emperor—Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven: The pinnacle of post-rock. While listening to Storm, I cannot believe humanity has created something so beautiful. And if you like 20 minute tracks, you’ve got four perfect ones here.
Alternative Rock
Radiohead—OK Computer, Kid A: Radiohead has a fair claim to the “best band of all time” label. These two diametrically opposed masterpieces both fall within my top 10 LPs ever. No music fan should miss them!
Muse—Origin of Symmetry: the more theatrical version of Radiohead can sometimes be too much for me, but several songs such as the gripping opener “New Born” always blow me away.
Mr. Bungle—California: Absolutely no idea why this isn’t considered progressive rock. The peak of crazy genre-switching intermixed with great ballads like “Retrovertigo.” Particularly, any early Haken fan that wants less Dream Theater influence needs this record (I know, specific, but it applies to me, soooooo…).
Kairon; IRSE!—Polysomn: psychedelic rock + post-rock + shoegaze with a little hint of prog. It’s euphoric, and they’re possibly my artist of the decade!
Jeff Buckley—Grace: classic singer-songwriter album with some complex chord progressions. The title track is one of my all-time favorite songs, and Buckley gives a vocal performance to die for.
Classic Rock
The Zombies—Odessey and Oracle: beautiful harmonies, would be surprised if Yes did not love this record.
The Beatles—Abbey Road: I mean, you know this already, right?
Led Zeppelin—Houses of the Holy: same here, any Zeppelin is great, but here’s the best for a prog fan.
David Bowie—Blackstar, Low: my two favorite Bowie albums might convince you if Ziggy Stardust was too in-your-face. (I love TRAFOZSATSFM, what an acronym.) Both are absolutely brilliant.
Electronic
Flying Lotus—Cosmogramma: vibrant, colorful, maximalist electronic from FlyLo. Absolutely no idea why Tangerine Dream is considered progressive electronic and this masterpiece isn’t. I guess this has more to do with jazz?
Ulver—Perdition City: a former black metal band dives into sizzling trip-hop that could score a Batman movie.
Aphex Twin—Drukqs: you want complex? You got it! How could a human program that shit?
Boards of Canada—Geogaddi: haunting, nostalgic IDM (“intelligent dance music,” possibly the snobbiest genre name this side of “progressive rock”). Perhaps the greatest study album.
Tim Hecker—Virgins: my favorite ambient record. The grandness of “Dark Side of the Moon,” but instrumental.
Hip-Hop
Kendrick Lamar—To Pimp a Butterfly: probably the greatest hip-hop album ever, I know that’s a basic opinion. The jazzy instrumentals combined with great lyrics form a very profound record. Add Thundercat on bass, Kamasi Washington on sax, and Flying Lotus handling arrangements, you’ve got a masterpiece. Best intro to hip-hop.
Digable Planets—Blowout Comb: great jazz rap album.
Madvillain—Madvillainy: MF DOOM and Madlib create brilliant music through short snippets and sample-filled verses. Spot the Gentle Giant sample – it’s actually super cool in a rap context. “Supervillain Theme” is my favorite sub 1-minute song ever, possibly.
Death Grips—The Powers That B: especially Disc 1, with its ‘chopped-and-screwed’ Björk samples. This is absolutely the closest hip-hop has gotten to being “progressive” in the prog rock sense, even as it’s obviously progressive in many other ways. Surreal, glitchy, complex, somehow catchy, and addictive. Check this out even if you tried “The Money Store” and didn’t like it – that’s how I got into them.
DJ Shadow—Endtroducing…: this record is made ENTIRELY out of samples, literally piecing together passages from thousands of other records over years to create a jazzy, psychedelic masterpiece of instrumental hip-hop. A completely new way to make music… that’s the most progressive thing.
Massive Attack—Mezzanine: instead of the “Rage Against the Machine” style of rapping over rock instrumentation, Mezzanine features lush hip-hop beats but mostly melodic pop or rock songs over the top. But where this masterpiece of trip-hop really gets going is the heavy guitar driven climaxes of “Angel,” “Dissolved Girl,” and “Group Four.” A very good entry point to hip-hop, because it’s really only halfway there.
Punk/Post-Punk/Math Rock (“Pronk”)
Talking Heads—Remain in Light: I’m not a massive fan of post-punk, but the thick, detailed grooves of the Heads always hit the spot. The first half of this album is perfect. Featuring a couple Adrian Belew solos!
Hella—Hold Your Horse Is: best math rock album, I think. Insane drumming and stellar tappy twinkly guitar playing.
Don Caballero—What Burns Never Returns: another great math rock album. You’ll get the idea of the genre from these two albums. Most math rock releases sound the same as each other, but they’re all quite good!
black midi—Schlagenheim: the next big prog (adjacent) band to watch. If you want a fresh take on 80s King Crimson, look no further. 953 is electrifying, and the frontman (Geordie Greep) is totally bonkers.
Slint—Spiderland: insanely influential 1991 album that spawned a million different genres like post-rock and math rock. The spoken word vocals and sudden time changes create an atmosphere of paranoia. Great lyrics, too.
Glenn Branca—The Ascension: very unique album, composed like a symphony but using an atonal punk aesthetic to get the point across. I’ve seen the album described as the musical equivalent of anxiety, and yeah, that’s pretty accurate. The buildups foreshadow post-rock, too.
TL;DR 10 Albums to Get You Into Non-Prog (chronological order):
  1. Charles Mingus—The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady (Avant-Garde Jazz)
  2. Marvin Gaye—What’s Going On (Soul)
  3. Talking Heads—Remain in Light (Post-Punk/New Wave)
  4. DJ Shadow—Endtroducing… (Instrumental Hip-Hop/Plunderphonics)
  5. Björk—Homogenic (Art Pop)
  6. Godspeed You! Black Emperor—Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven (Experimental/Post-Rock)
  7. Shiina Ringo—Kalk Samen Kuri No Hana (Experimental Art Pop)
  8. Sufjan Stevens—Illinois (Symphonic Indie Pop/Indie Folk)
  9. Flying Lotus—Cosmogramma (Electronic/Jazz Fusion)
  10. Kendrick Lamar—To Pimp A Butterfly (Jazz Rap)
I didn’t include OK Computer, Kid A, Abbey Road, and Blackstar because I think most people would have heard those before. If you haven’t, they absolutely qualify here!
I hope you love whichever albums you try!
Edit: u/CommunistOrc had such a great comment that I'd like to copy/paste it here for you all!
Wow. Incredible list, tons of amazing albums from a diverse range of genres. For anyone who likes some of these albums, but wants more from the same artists, I'll compile a list of other, maybe less popular albums from some of the same artists that I think are just as worth checking out:
Pharoah Sanders - Black Unity: This is the spiritual free jazz from Karma taken to a groovier, more experimental dimension, with two dueling bassists playing one of the best basslines of all time. It slowly escalates to the point of chaos, but is always stunningly fascinating.
John Coltrane - The Olatunji Concert: While this isn't my favorite Trane album, it's damn close, and what it lacks compared to Live in Japan's scale, it makes up for it raw aggression, and emotion. This was three months before he died, and he was suffering from liver cancer. The pain in his playing is evident, a man breathing his pain out through his saxophone, creating some of the most emotionally and spiritually intense music ever recorded. The recording quality gives it an even more raw edge, that makes this my second favorite jazz album of all time.
Sweet Trip - You Will Never Know Why: This album dials it back from VDC's glitchy shoegazey IDM, to a more electronic indie pop sort of zone. This album has some of the best songwriting of all time I feel, with so many bangers it should be illegal. Highly recommended for Sweet Trip fans, or for those who thought VDC was a bit much, either in length, or sound.
Mark Hollis - s/t: Mark Hollis (singer, songwriter, and frontman of Talk Talk) released one solo album, that carries on in the same vein as Spirit of Eden and Laughing Stock, but even more sparse, and bleak. I find this to be a wonderful listen, essential for Talk Talk fans.
Electric Masada - At The Mountains of Madness: This double CD live album from Electric Masada, led by John Zorn, is avant-garde jazz fusion, strongly influenced also by both metal and klezmer. Yeah, very wild combination of styles, and it's an equally wild listen. Comparisons to Bitches Brew are common here, and while they are certainly different sounding albums, they are similar in terms of revolutionary genre fusion, and massive scope. Recommended for fusion fans, especially those who like Bitches Brew.
GY!BE - F#A#∞: GY!BE's first album (All Lights Fucked doesn't count) is their quietest, and most interesting to me. The heavy use of samples and spoken word create an atmosphere of dreading, and the instrumentals are simply breathtaking. Like watching the immediate aftermath of an apocalyptic cataclysmic event.
Kairon; IRSE! - Ujubasajuba: Not a ton to say here, just really good shoegaze. Gnarly guitar tones, a definite must listen for any shoegaze fan, though not a good entry point to the genre (Loveless and Souvlaki are better)
Freddie Gibbs and Madlib - Pinata: Madlib provides some of the best beats of his career here, rivaling his work on Madvillainy, but I tend to prefer Gibbs as a rapper to MF DOOM. Heresy, I know. DOOM is amazing at what he does, I just don't enjoy what he does a ton. Anyway, this album is one of the best hip-hop albums of the 2010s, and is required listening for any Madvillainy fan.
Glenn Branca - The Third Ascension: This takes the totalist nightmare of The Ascension and turns it up to 11. This is the soundtrack of hell being unleashed into our mortal realm. One of my friends once described this album as "Glenn Branca detonating a nuclear bomb on your head, instantly killing you," and I find that apt. The first 30 seconds of Cold Thing are some of the most intimidating, downright terrifying music I've ever heard. The kind of music that activates your fight or flight response.
Finally, this isn't related to any album on OP's list, but The Microphones - The Glow Pt. 2 is my favorite album of all time, and something I think any music lover should give a go at least once. Ideally more than once, since it is a grower I think. The songwriting is stunningly beautiful, or mysteriously hypnotic, or catchy, or noisy and furious, and more. The variety on display in this indie folk / rock album is immense. The amount of ground it covers in its 20 song, hour long runtime is massive, but it never feels like too much. Furthermore, the production is immaculate, with so many layers and details that I think I've noticed something new on literally every listen. The emotional attachment I have to this album is massive, but even putting that aside, I still think it's a basically perfect album. If you only listen to one album from this comment, make it this one.
Edit 2: u/boredop made another great comment that I'd like to add in!
A few things from the jazz/funk/soul side of the universe:
I gotta say, I am always surprised when I meet someone who is into prog but not jazz. They seem like such obvious bedfellows to me. Jazz at its best has everything prog fans love - virtuosity, rhythmic complexity, intricate compositions, usually with the added bonus of swinging like crazy.
Thanks for reading!
submitted by Muzak_For_A_Nurse to progrockmusic [link] [comments]

Hunter or Huntress Chapter 76: Recon

So then time to see if Jackalope accidentally joins the dragonette space program or if it will be some other unlucky bastard. They might find some targets of opportunity on their little trip after all.
The editing duo has once again had a crack at it. I don't know about you but I think they are doing one hell of a job.
On account of not having any more clever things to say I think we should dive right into chapter 76 of this not so little story.
ko-fi For having a pretty picture commissioned.
Sapphire
Wiki
First Previous Next
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Chapter 76: Recon
“Ohh I remember that mountain. We slept in a cave there during a storm,” Jackalope went, pointing to the center peak of what looked like a miniature mountain chain. “That was a shitty day.”
“I bet it was. Does it have a name?” Tom questioned, looking the mountain over.
“Can’t remember,” Jackalope replied. “Something beginning with ‘hyrta’ I think.”
“That should mark around halfway,” Zarko went, looking at her map book.
“Excellent, I can't wait,” Jarix replied, clearly excited.
“You do know there is a very high chance we find absolutely nothing right?” Zarko went, in an indifferent tone.
“Oh they’ll be there, I know it.”
“If they are, people likely have died. I would prefer if we aren't hoping for that,” Tom stated. ‘Honestly Jarix,’ Tom thought to himself. It would seem there was still a ways to go with the young dragon’s compassion. He had another lesson to conduct though. “Right, Jacky I want to see you go through this thing again.”
“Sure, “ Jackalope replied, drawing the revolver from the borrowed thigh holster. Tom had been wondering if it would fit. It had only just done so, but it was on there nice and tight. “Safety is on, weapon is loaded. Reloading; open cylinder and extract,” she went through the motions just like he had taught her, extracting the bullets and placing them into the little pouch she had found for storing them until a proper belt could be arranged. Then she proceeded to reload the cylinder before clicking it shut nice and gently.
“Very good. Bring it up to fire.”
She responded, bringing the pistol up with both hands and peering down the sights. Tom was not much of an instructor, but he knew the basics. Jackalope's form was on point, though, following their first attempts. He had been worried she would be afraid of the gun following what it had done to her hand the last time. If she was, he certainly couldn’t tell. “Looks good.”
“I always look good,” Jackalope responded in a cocky tone, holstering the revolver again.
“Just a little banged up at times,” Zarko responded, mockingly.
“Scars are badass,” Jarix added in. “You're just jealous you don’t have any good ones.”
“Look who’s talking, pretty boy,” Zarko fired back. She was right of course, Jarix was damn near pristine, even if a bit of the sheen had worn off. Likely the result of not getting the polish he had been talking about.
“Ohh, are we showing scars?!” Jackalope exclaimed. “Well, you gave me one on my nose,” she went, stamping her foot a bit. “Got this one when I hit a tree when I was 8... ohh, and Fengi shot me in the ass once by accident. I ain’t showing that one though.” Tom had to suppress a giggle at that. “That one was a varghulf stinger” She continued pointing to a neat scar across her belly. “What’s you got Zarko?”
“Mine are mostly sparring and training,” Zarko admitted. “Some idiot tried to beat me up with a glass bottle in a bar once, got me across the shoulder.” There was indeed a sizable scar running down her left shoulder, Tom observed. He had thought it was a sword-cut or something. He could see a broken bottle do that though.
“What about you?” Jackalope questioned, looking at Tom. “Ohh quite a few... I was shot a few times, you know when. Got this one cliff diving on vacation once.” He went lifting up his trouser leg.
“What's a vacation?” Zarko questioned. “And why did you jump off a cliff?”
“I gotta say even I think that sounds stupid when you can't fly,” Jackalope added very thoughtfully.
“Oh right, a holiday is like, some time off from work. Where you can just go and enjoy things. I went traveling for that one. Went someplace warm to relax and have fun.”
“You jumped off a cliff... for fun?” Unkai questioned, clearly not buying it.
“Into water of course. There just wasn't quite enough water. A bit like when Fengi dropped me in the lake.”
“Ouch,” Jackalope went with a grimace.
“Okaaay, Zarko do you get vacations?” Unkai asked, looking away from Tom the mad man.
“We get time off, sure. You know, if we’re just sitting around anyway. How long is a vacation?”
“A few weeks usually, we're paid too.”
“Then no, we do not,” She responded sounding slightly miffed, ears dropping.
“I would like to travel sometime. You know, go see the world,” Jackalope responded with a hint of dreaminess to her voice.
“Should have joined the guard then,” Jarix added. “If they'd have you.”
“Not everyone can just get in because they are a damn dragon.” Zarko scolded him.
“Just because Sapphire wasn't good enough doesn’t mean I’m not,” Jackalope stated confidently.
“Sorry, they care about money mostly. Unless there is a war on. Who knows, depending on what we find today your chances might be improving.”
“Hah, when we're done with them, they are gonna ask me” Jackalope replied patting the revolver. Tom really wanted to repeat his earlier statement about not hoping for people being in trouble, but elected to shut up.
There had been a few sights to see, the odd cliff, a forest lake here and there, and a few clearings of course. Mostly though it was the sheer scale of the forest that blew Tom away. It just kept going as far as the eye could see for hours.
“Why aren't there more dragonettes here?” Tom questioned gesturing to the horizon. “There’s plenty of food down there, surely.”
“Well there isn't much reason to come out here. It's too far from the big cities to be profitable. Not to mention dangerous,” Zarko replied, matter of factly.
“We’ve mostly been left alone,” Jackalope countered, scanning the horizon.
“Mostly yeah, when something like this happens you’re on your own though. People just prefer to live either in the cities or close to them where we frequently patrol.”
“I see... Doesn’t it get, you know... overpopulated?” Tom questioned.
“Sure then we start sending more people further out. Some make it, some don’t. Most of the success stories come from ones who go and take an abandoned keep. Surviving winter without one is no easy feat, not to mention the things that would rather have you stop breathing.”
“Or turn us black as coal,” Jackalope added, clearly causing Zarko and Unkai significant discomfort.
“Sounds like a really shitty way to die,” Tom replied. Honestly, they just send people out here and cross their fingers? Humans had done the same of course, so he could hardly blame them. It would appear this place fought back a little more than the wild west had though. “Why not just make more keeps then if that works so well?”
“We do build new keeps every now and again, but that is expensive. Most people who can afford it don’t really want to spend the money on something as unprofitable as a frontier keep,” Zarko replied.
“Or you could just beat the shit out of the previous owners like Nunuk’s grandma,” Jackalope added. scoring a curious look from both Tom and Zarko, Unkai looking down a bit. “Relax, they were evil… I think. Or just really annoying, I’m not sure.”
“Apuma said she was awarded the keep for her service?” Tom went, he was fairly sure that's how it had been presented at least.
“Oh yeah, it was. That didn’t mean it was empty though.” ‘Oof’ Tom thought to himself. Then again, might have been a Flaxen bitch or something like that. He wouldn’t mind just taking where she lived.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Sapphire was feeling a fair amount of deja vu as she stood looking at the finely dressed individual outside their door. She was in quite a bit better shape today though. She gave herself a mental pat on the back for being a bit more restrained last night.
“I’m here on behalf of the Flaxen estate to formally request that you retract your baseless accusations against Lady Flaxen.” Sapphire damn near stabbed the woman in front of her and asked her how baseless she felt a knife to the gut was.
“I think you want Dakota Bizmati for that question. You know, the noble daughter whose childhood friend your Lady stabbed with a poisoned blade.” Sapphire replied, with as much malice in her voice as she could muster.
“While I admit circumstances are most regrettable, I must insist that you retract these accusations, as well as refrain from making mention of them.” She was at least sounding calm and cordial rather than screaming all the time which was a definite improvement. ‘Here we go again,' Sapphire sighed to herself, stepping back.
“All yours, Dakota.”
“Your incestuous bitch of a Lady is neither esteemed nor innocent. I will not retract my accusation, and even if I did, I think you have more to worry about.”
“Such as?” the person asked.
“The fact that she has managed to insult the royal guard as a whole, Colonel Hashaw and Baron in particular. Oh, and what more was it… Lying to a royal court, attempting to falsify evidence, and making false accusations of treason in spite of knowing the truth.” Dakota stepped forward right into the face of the woman, looking like she was ready to snap at her throat.
“This is just in addition to attempting a murder. In my fucking keep! Of my friend! She is still sick in bed after a week! Had she managed to get away with all that, she might damn well have had us all executed as traitors too! So I reiterate for the slow-minded amongst us, I will not let that bitch go!” Dakota had damn near run out of breath near the end there, but Sapphire couldn’t help but crack a smile at the finely dressed woman, who was clearly rather terrified by now.
“Uhh, I am terribly sorry. I truly am, may I come inside so we…”
“No, you may not!”
“Right, of course, see uhm. See I’m here to… negotiate the terms for having the charges dropped.”
“We will not negotiate.” Dakota responded coldly.
“I must beg you to reconsider, the family has agreed that these charges must not be brought against us.”
“Then kick the bitch out,” Sapphire added, standing behind Dakota, arms crossed doing her best to look scary.
“But, she is the Lady of the household we could not…”
“Not my fucking problem. Now piss off,” Dakota went, pointing down the stairs.
“Would you not at least hear our offer?”
“What's going on?” A still sleepy-looking Balethon questioned, stepping out of his room.
“Just someone who thinks they can buy our honor,” Dakota replied in a seething tone.
“No, I merely meant we might come to a… mutual understanding.”
“Oh please. We’re not that stupid,” Sapphire added.
“Well, what's the offer?” Balethon asked. ‘Really,’ Sapphire thought to herself disapprovingly.
“Why, no less than 500 gold to be paid in various goods.” She sounded very impressed with herself at that.
“Pfft that's it?” Sapphire let out. Sure, that was a shit ton of money. About as much as the keep made a year after all. Still, Tom likely had several times that amount just lying around. Not to mention the countless things that were likely priceless in their own right.
“That is a very large sum of money, Huntress,” The woman stated, sounding slightly offended.
“Leave!” Dakota sneered at her, still pointing at the stairs and placing her other hand on her sword hilt. ‘Maybe I should have brought a sword too,’ Sapphire wondered to herself. That was certainly an effective threat after all.
The woman did as instructed, turning away in a huff, trying to seem insulted despite clearly being scared shitless.
“Come on, let’s get some breakfast,” Dakota went, taking a deep breath easing up a bit.
After eating they elected to spend the day going around the city. Dakota had some errands to run, and they needed to get that appointment at the academy. Once things kick off with the trial they might not have the time after all.
“It’s gonna be crazy in there, don’t you think?” Sapphire questioned as they were getting ready to head out. “At the Academy I mean.”
“Hopefully Tom knows what he’s doing. I don’t think we will be the ones answering most of the questions after all,” Dakota replied, studying herself in the mirror.
“What about those Flaxen people, think they will try something?”
“Oh, I’m sure of it. Just not sure what... What would you do if Nunuk was about to bring shame to us all, by being sentenced to something like this?”
“I… I have no idea... Break her out of jail perhaps?”
“No. It’s their reputation they’re worried about, that makes it worse.”
“They aren't gonna try and kill us, right?” Sapphire questioned, suddenly slightly worried.
“Unless they wanna try to assassinate Hashaw as well it wouldn’t do them much good. She’s the one pressing the charges, technically. So I think we’re quite safe on that front. I’m more worried about Tom.”
“Wait, you think they wanna kill Tom?!”
“No. I think someone might wanna know more about him. So please, do try to restrain yourself when bragging and we don’t travel alone here. We can’t lie to the council, but down here there is no telling who you’re talking to.” Sapphire's mind flashed back to telling about Tom’s little swim with Dakota last night.
“No, I agree we should be careful.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
“We should be coming up on Hylsdal soon,” Zarko went, peering out ahead.
“I think that’s smoke,” Jarix stated. Tom sure as fuck couldn’t see it though.
“Yup, that’s smoke alright,” Zarko confirmed.
‘Oh come on.’ Tom thought to himself.
“Well someone’s home then,” Jackalope added in, not sounding worried.
“Yeah Looks like chimney smoke. Let’s go low. Skim the trees, Jarix.”
“Skimming the trees,” Jarix responded, descending down to as low as he dared. They would maintain this altitude for a while until they were close, then drop down under the canopy for the last leg. There had been no sign of fliers around as they made their approach, finally diving down into the trees at a small clearing.
“Time for an obstacle course then,” Jarix went as he began to weave between the huge trees, not slowing overly much in the process. There was a lot of space between them so it wasn't too bad. Still, it was clearly more work than cruising. Tom almost started to feel a little sick from the constant banking. First one way, then the other, over and over again.
“Please… help me,” Tom shot up at that.
“What the hell!?” he went. Looking around, the others had clearly heard it too. Shit, that was that mental speech again.
“Da fuck?! Uhm... Hello?” Jackalope tried, also looking around frantically along with the others. There was nothing to be seen though.
“On your left... please.”
“Left turn,” Jarix warned, banking into the turn.
“By the water,” The voice spoke again.
It didn’t take long before they broke a treeline, entering a clearing with a small water hole in the middle. Tom's mind was screaming ambush at him as they entered the clearing at speed. He crouched down, unlatching his revolver just in case.
“Down there,” Jarix cried out, sounding troubled. As he went into a dive Tom scrambled to hold on.
“Oh shit!” Zarko let out in alarm.
“Where?” Tom demanded, drawing the revolver. Jarix came down hard, trotting over towards something; Tom managed to get to his feet, gun raised, to see for himself. By the side of the water, a familiar-looking white horse was lying down. Head near the water, horn missing and covered in what looked more like mercury than blood. “Oh that can't be good.”
“No no no no...” Unkai trailed off as he jumped down, sprinting over to the stricken unicorn.
“No, it’s not,” Zarko confirmed, sliding down herself.
“Jarix, keep an eye out, would you? This might be a trap,” Tom went as he himself jumped down. Jarix responded with a nod craning his neck to look around.
“Is it dead?” Jackalope questioned, as Unkai was frantically looking the unicorn over. Tom took a lap of the creature. He didn’t know shit about unicorns, but this one sure looked familiar, even beaten to shit as it was.
“Not… quite yet.” It sounded calm if strained until it laid eyes on Tom, who was currently wearing his helmet, goggles, and faceplate. “What the! No not like this!” it pleaded, trying to get up. Tom instinctively raised his hands, taking a step back. It sounded female and it certainly looked like Kalestine to Tom.
“It’s cool. I’m the one who made a lot of noise. Noo, problems I won't hurt you.” It did calm down again, looking at him with those emotionless eyes.
“You look like a demon,” she let out in a weak voice. That sounded like Kalestine alright, here to rescue her and she's got the insults ready.
“Right, ohhh my gods. Bleeding, bleeding first” Unkai went talking to himself clearly awestruck by the situation. He got to work frantically sealing up cuts. There were a fair few arrow-shafts embedded in her as well.
“What should I do?” Jackalope and Tom asked in unison, looking at each other for a second then turning back to the situation in front of them.
“Water. Please water,” Kalestine pleaded, Tom obliged, unscrewing his bottle, kneeling down, and letting her drink.
“Jackalope, help wash the wounds,” Zarko ordered, sitting down to help Unkai. She applied pressure to the wounds while Unkai worked.
“So uhm… can you die? I mean, aren't you capable of saving people,” Tom tried, slightly awkwardly.
It took a bit before she answered. “Yes” she replied, looking at him while she drank. ‘I’m not gonna say this can you hear me?’ Kalestine nodded slowly in response. ‘people might be very hurt where we are going, is it true your blood can save lives’
“Only fresh” She responded. He looked at the others, how didn’t seem to react so he guessed this was private. ‘If we find any will you help them’
She finished drinking. ‘Don’t know’ it was clear she was struggling to do whatever she had to do to speak. Tom really hoped she meant she didn’t know if she could, rather than whether she would.
“How did this happen?” Zarko questioned, not being blessed with a reply. Which clearly annoyed her.
“Do you know if the keep is okay?” Jackalope tried.
“No,” Came the strained answer.
“I think she needs to rest,” Unkai went, giving a strained sigh as he moved on. “This will hurt. I am truly sorry. Zarko cut it out.”
“Taking a knife to a unicorn, there’s something you don't do every day. I am truly sorry for this,” Zarko went, sounding like she didn’t quite believe what was going on. She started to delicately cut out an arrow, going slowly and carefully. Kalestine didn't take it very well, thrashing about on the ground.
“Stop! It hurts!” she went in a demanding tone. Tom had been expecting a headache, though nothing came. In fact, even in his head, she sounded weak and tame.
“We need to get them out,” Zarko protested. Unkai nearly froze, looking at the unicorn in horror. “Jackalope, help hold her down, would you? And do your job, guardsman!” Unkai snapped back into reality and the two of them continued to work on the arrows, Jackalope holding down the unicorn’s head.
“This feels heretical,” Jackalope protested as Kalestine fought against her. It was clear the unicorn was a spent force though, failing to put up much resistance.
“Now, now. It will be over soon,” Tom tried in his best nanny voice, hoping he wasn’t just insulting her.
“The more you struggle, the more it hurts and the more you bleed,” Zarko observed as she and Unkai continued to work.
Kalestine was clearly in great pain, letting out some very distressed neighing that almost sounded more like screaming.
“That's one out. You’re doing great,” Unkai tried, in an encouraging tone. It was clear he was struggling himself though. Tom guessed that working on what was sort of like a demigod, at least to him, was a rather stressful situation. Kalestine continued to thrash around for the more painful parts, but she did stop protesting the procedure.
It took a while to get the arrows out, but they managed it. After that, it was mostly cuts and bruises and a rather nasty stab wound. She did eventually ease up a bit, breathing growing more steady as the most painful parts of the procedure were over.
“Thank you,” She finally went in a meek voice. Jackalope got off her and stood back up.
“See, there you go, good as new”
“Why didn’t you just come get us?” Tom questioned. Kalestine responded with a distressed whinney. Zarko lent over to him, and speaking in a hushed tone said,
“Her horn, Tom.”
‘Well shit,’ Tom thought to himself, looking at the broken stump. ‘How does something like that even happen?’
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So then we have a fucked up Unicorn, a timetable in tatters, and yet another Flaxen... hey at least everyone is still breathing.
As always let me know what you think down below, both the good and the bad. not to mention, questions and general Tom foolery ;)
Until next time have an awesome day.
ko-fi For having a pretty picture commissioned.
Sapphire
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Meet The Freak 40

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Valentine
"Ten acres and you can use the tunnel upon request," Foreman Sanders countered.
Wally shook his head, "Minus the hotel's foundations, the hill is just shy of twenty-eight acres, you're asking for over a third of my farmable land just to cut some time off my supply runs. The pass isn't too much further north. We can go around if we need to. How about this? You can have either one acre on top of the foundation, or four down on the hill. In exchange, I get to use the tunnel whenever I want."
"One acre on the foundation and two on the hill, we need to be able to tunnel, and I don't much like the idea of trying to dig through solid stone that's run through with a mesh of iron."
"And we get to use the tunnel whenever we want."
"And you get to use the tunnel whenever you want," the foreman relented.
Wally's hand covered most of the gnome's forearm as the two shook on it.
"I'd invite you in for drinks," Foreman Sanders offered, removing his sun goggles to place them on his forehead, "But we've not even the headroom for elves."
"It's the thought that counts," Wally replied with a shrug.
"When can we send our surveyors out to choose our ground?"
"Val and I are headed to Pelignos after this, but I'll let my people back at the hotel know about our agreement. So you can send them whenever you like."
"That'd be a clever trick, with you being here in Caniforma. How do you expect to manage that?"
Wally shrugged his pack off one shoulder and pulled it around to his front, retrieving one of the books he'd made.
"Here," he offered, holding it out, "There are more detailed instructions inside, but the short version is that anything written on the relevant page will appear on the page's twin in my book. So if you need to send messages, this is how to do it."
Sanders took the tome and turned it over in his hands. "Huh, clever," he muttered, "Got any other tricks?"
"Yes."
"I bet you do," he mused, "Maybe I'll go with the survey team, I wonder what we'll find."
And with that, the foreman took his leave, descending the steps into the tunnel. I followed Wally out from underneath the sunshade, and gingerly touched his arm. When he didn't shy away, I stepped in closer and took his hand.
He'd begun to loosen up over the past few weeks. He'd become more adventurous, shall we say, though until recently it had only been in private that he'd let me see that side of him.
Bringing the others to the hotel had helped, as had the previous night at The Maiden, and though it made me feel special to be the only one allowed to see his soft side, it was nice to see him finally relax. He seemed more comfortable in his own skin and looked more like a person than a living statue.
Well, okay. He still looks like a statue. But at least he's a more relaxed statue.
I peered up at him, "What now? Shall we go back to The Maiden? You can do unforgivable things to me," I offered.
Wally pulled his arm away gently and put his hands in his pockets, "Actually I was thinking that I need some armour, so I don't get so messed up next time someone sneaks up on me with a knife."
I felt a little pang of regret as he pulled away. I knew he took guilty pleasure in my lewd comments, but I'd evidently pushed too far. He may have opened up a little, and though I doubted anyone on the street had overheard me, the setting was far from private.
"But that's going to be tricky if I can't fit in the tunnels," he continued, "unless one of the goblin families specializes in smithing."
"The lower levels of The Maiden connect to the tunnels, there is a second front entrance down there. We could call for a smith, have them meet us there," I offered.
"Alright," he replied doubtfully.
"I'm sorry Wally, I didn't mean- I don't want you to be uncomfortable at The Maiden."
"It's not that," he assured me, "I'm just thinking about the numbers here. I need armour of some kind. I just don't know how practical it's going to be for someone my size."
"Well let's talk some smiths and find out. There's no harm in doing some research."
Wally nodded slowly, "Alright, we'll talk to some people and see what they have to say."
Irony made the necessary arrangements, and after promising to foot the bill whatever it cost, I left Wallace to converse with the half-dozen or so gnomes that had shown up.
I padded up the steps back to the common room. I could hear a dull murmur on the other side of the thick oak door. I set my hand on the brass knob and turned, pushing open the door. The conversation within immediately fell silent, and every eye turned to me.
"What?" I demanded, glowering at the women lounging by the fireplace.
Irony grinned, "We were just discussing how you're so obviously head over heels for this human."
I kicked the door shut with my heel, "You're acting as if I'm a little girl with my first crush and gossiping like a knitting circle."
Irony leapt up from the couch and put an arm around my shoulders, guiding me back to sit with her, "He must be very special."
"He's fine," I replied flatly.
"Nonsense," Chastity said with a grin. She was in her usual place on the cushions by the fire, wrapped up in her white robe, "I'm not the only one who remembers your fantasies. By day you'd be the dashing surveyor, exploring strange lands and making off with exotic treasures, and by night you'd be here-"
"Likely tied up or shackled," Irony added.
"Definitely naked," Obedience put in.
"Making all sorts of noises," Virtue nodded.
"You were very clear," Purity agreed, "Said we'd belong to you every minute of the day."
"Mmm, or she'd be ours," Irony smouldered.
Chastity threw up her arms, and her robe fell about her waist, "And the next time we see you, you're with your enormous friend and don't seem to have any interest in sharing him."
"Or yourself," Obedience added.
"Of course I have an interest!" I retorted, "But Wally doesn't, and I don't want to make him uncomfortable or do anything to upset him."
Irony nodded in agreement, "Because you're head over heels for him."
"I-"
"Come on Val, don't pretend otherwise," Chastity mocked, "You always said the only way you'd settle down with someone is if they were either hung like a horse, or very special to you."
Purity sat dangling her legs over the side of the couch, swinging them absently, "So which is it?" she asked innocently.
I rolled my eyes, "And you lot were going on and on about how well you know me. Please, I'm not one for second best. Wally's obviously both."
Irony tapped a finger against her lower lip, "I thought you were walking funny this morning."
"Jealous," I accused.
Each one of them nodded, grins and smirks all around.
Irony hugged me tighter, "I'm glad you're happy, Val. As much as I like the idea of having you as our only client, it's good to see you've finally found a life you don't feel the need to escape from."
"Girls, I'm sorry," I sighed, "I wasn't even thinking of the promise I'd made."
"Well if Wallace ever changes his mind I'm certainly up for it," Chastity grinned, "But don't bother yourself about it. None of us are looking to get out in any case."
"I've had enough money saved for ages now," Obedience agreed, "I'm not planning on going anywhere."
"Besides," Irony chimed in, "I know few places where I'll be paid to discipline uppity nobles and wealthy merchants."
"Well if any of you ever change your mind, send word to my sister. We're visiting Pelignos next, and we'll be delivering an enchanted book that Wally made to communicate. Let my sister know of any troubles, and she can send word along to Wally and myself."
Wally returned to the common room not much later with a sheaf of paper in one massive hand. He nodded absently at myself and the others, oblivious to Chastity's nudity, and went straight to the room we'd taken for ourselves.
I took my leave of the girls and joined Wallace in our chambers. He was already seated on the couch with his papers spread out on the table before him. Notes, diagrams, sketches of armour, measurements, and several graphs that appeared utterly incomprehensible. It seemed his meeting had been educational.
"I'm not bothering you, am I?"
Wallace looked up startled as if he hadn't heard me come in.
The cycle had become familiar. Wally was deciphering a problem, one where I didn't have anything to add. He generally liked to be alone at times like this. I knew that inevitably he'd think things through, and it would all come flowing out of him as he explained the circumstances and how he thought to resolve the issues. By the end, I'd usually have more information on the subject than I knew what to do with, but I wasn't much use until Wally decided to share.
He hesitated, and for a moment I thought he might indeed say I was a bother, though perhaps in gentler terms.
"I promise not to ask you to tear off my clothes or tie me up."
"It's okay," Wally said with a smile and a nod.
He shuffled over a bit, giving me room to sit beside him on the couch, and I joined him.
"Um, Wally," I began, "I know that I often say such things as, you can do whatever you want to me, but it occurs to me that usually ends in the sorts of things I want. So what do you want Wally? Anything, absolutely anything."
Wally leaned back against the couch and took me lightly about the waist. He lifted me gently and laid me against his chest with my head against his shoulder.
"This right here, this is plenty."
"I'll be quiet, if you like, until you've finished thinking over what you learned," I murmured, "But I would like to hear about it once you're ready to share."
I shivered as Wally began to rub my back, and I let myself relax against him.
"No, it's alright," he assured me, "Here, this is probably the least bad option I've come up with," he explained, holding the sketch so I could see it.
"Brigandine? Seems sensible enough, it's what I favoured before I found this," I told him, lifting an arm, protected by the advanced human fabric, "Speaking of which," I muttered.
I drew away from Wallace and undid the zip of my suit. Wally eyed me warily, but I made a placating gesture.
"I've still got my shift on, and I'm not trying to get handsy. I just want to relax a little, and the suit is not the most comfortable garment," after a moment's thought, I also took off my amulet. I discarded both on the floor and leaned back against Wally. I shook out my hair, and let it cascade down my back and across Wally's chest, "Now what's the matter with Brigandine? Least bad, you said? I doubt you'll find much that's more comfortable. My jumpsuit aside, one must compromise comfort for protection, and even my jumpsuit does little beyond stopping blades and teeth."
"Well that's the thing, I don't need much more protection than that. Humans are already pretty durable when it comes to blunt trauma. As long as you don't get hit in the head and nothing breaks, you'll probably be fine. Sore, but fine. The trouble comes when you're dealing with sharp things that pierce internal organs or cut veins and arteries."
"And you need not concern yourself with breaking bones," I realized.
"Yeah, and while I still don't want to get hit on the head, the sheer mass of my skull does give me some protection. It's hard to shake around or jostle something that weighs about eighty pounds."
"Please," I laughed, "You're exaggerating, you're thickheaded, that much is obvious. But it can't weigh that much."
Wally shook his head, "Human head accounts for about eight percent of a human's total body mass. I weigh about a thousand pounds, so my head is about eighty."
"And you're carrying all that weight on your neck? Gods, now I know why the girls found so many knots in your muscles. You must be so sore."
Wally shrugged, unwilling to burden me with the whole of it, "Thankfully I've got some well-developed neck muscles. So a helmet is still a good idea, but as you saw back in the dungeon theme park, blades are a problem. Brigandine is nice, but it's a lot more than I need. My ribcage will keep most things away from my heart, lungs, all the important stuff. But my abdomen and lower back aren't as well protected. It also doesn't cover my thighs and all the blood vessels inside. All I need is something to keep myself from getting cut. Mail also works, but it's loud, it's heavy, and I need to know to wear it. It's not like your suit where you can just wear it twenty-four-seven."
"I know you're a lot bigger than me, but my suit is made for a human much larger than myself. We could cut it up," I offered, "Craft a garment that would keep you safe."
"Val, we are not cutting up your flight suit."
"It's okay, really," I assured him.
"Val, as far as I can tell, it's the only possession in the world you treasure. We're not cutting up the trophy you earned surveying. I'll find another way."
"Okay, you big sentimental oaf, what other ways have you got?"
"You're right about the flight suit, and two ways come to mind if I want to replicate it. Either I transmute cloth to steel, and hope it stays flexible, or modify cloth so that its strength is comparable."
"I suppose I could see metal forming a workable cloth if the fibres- if they can still be called such -are fine enough. But if the metal is fine enough to fold, won't it be easy for a blade to slip through? Not on a cut perhaps, but an arrow or sword point may make it through."
"On Earth, we've got these things called 'shark suits'. They're for divers that want to swim near sharks. It's a skintight steel mesh that covers the whole body. That's where I got the idea from. But I bet that it's not as simple as weaving some steel wire into fabric. The structure is probably different. I just don't know how it's different."
"Then we need gold and emeralds. Strengthen Animal will work to enhance the durability of silk, gold for strengthening mana, emerald for animal mana."
"That's not going to be cheap."
"We have the money, and I don't want anyone putting more marks on your beautiful body. Irony knows how to take professional measurements, used to arranging for the special garments her clients require, I suppose. We can get her to take your measurements, and have the clothes ready by the time we're back from Pelignos."
Wally nodded, "Alright, but I'd like them to look like normal clothes. Like this, basically. Shirt, pants, nothing crazy."
"Okay," I yawned. Wally's scent and the heat coming off his body was beginning to make me sleepy, "We could get Irony to measure me as well. If there's something specific you have in mind, I'm sure we could get it made."
"You want me to dress you up in cosplay?" Wally frowned.
I shrugged, and put on my best innocent face, "If you like."
"Val, I don't think-" he began.
Then he paused, tilting his head and looking off into the distance. A slow smile spread across his face, but he shook his head.
"Nah," he said finally, "Well... Nah."
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Hunter or Huntress Chapter 79: How Does That Even Work?

So then folks ready to get that cliffhanger from last time, resolved? Well, luckily for you chapter 78 is here and ready to read. hopefully with an accurate title this time.
The editing duo have collectively shaken their heads at the results of my labor and then made it into something fit for showing off to you guys. So I say we got on with it.
​
ko-fi For having a pretty picture commissioned.
Sapphire
Wiki
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Chapter 79: How Does That Even Work?
Tom’s head shot up. “Kalestine! We need to get them to Kalestine!” He shouted out at the others. Heads turning to face him.
“Tom, we can’t hurt a unicorn,” Zarko replied despairingly.
“I don’t care. I asked her, she said maybe. Maybes will do right now. Jarix, we’re moving. Jackalope, on your feet we ain’t done yet.” That last part was superfluous as she had already yanked the girl away from Unkai and started sprinting towards Jarix. Zarko and Unkai also snapped to it, Tom guessed the excuse of Kalestine having said so would do for them.
“Can you walk?” Tom questioned the boy who had come clambering out. He was clearly struggling to get to his feet, even if he had stopped crying. “Come now grab on, I'll carry you,” Tom went, kneeling down in front of the kid who latched on. He grabbed his helmet, slapping it on, then picked up the basket holding it tight, and made his way to where Jarix was getting clear of the buildings.
Unkai had grabbed the boy who had been clutching the basket, even if he was breathing he was clearly not in good shape either, Zarko carrying the twins. It was a mad scramble to get everyone on board and secure.
“Jacky, rifle,” Tom went, pointing to the hole where he had left it. Jackalope quickly half-ran half-flew over to grab it as Jarix set off at a gallop to get airborne. “Everyone hang on,” Zarko instructed as she held onto the dead girl. Tom made sure the basket wasn’t going anywhere as Jarix jumped into the air, wings driving down hard.
Jackalope made it back in no time as jarix was getting up to speed, setting down with the precious rifle. Tom quickly slung it over his shoulder. It was clear she had not fared much better than him, eyes red and wet. She was smiling though and there was hope in her eyes. Tom really hoped Kalestine wasn’t gonna rob her of that.
“Zarko, you know where she is?"
“That I do,” she replied. There was a hint of reluctance in her voice. As she looked at the kids currently strewn about Jarix's back, her face seemed to go from stern to pained and she started relaying instructions.
‘Kalestine better not be a bitch today, or I’m gonna end up a heretic,’ Tom thought to himself, looking at the kids. There were six in total; four boys and two girls, those being the two youngest. The oldest of them being the one who had come crawling out. Tom guessed he was around eleven, which would make him a young man by dragonette standards.
He was sitting next to Tom, shifting between looking at his little sister in the basket and at the others around him. Clearly overwhelmed by what was happening. The twins still hadn’t let go of each other and looked terrified as all hell.
“What’s your name?” Tom asked the young man, trying to divert his attention from the girl Jackalope was clutching tight. Poor Jacky, Tom thought to himself. Based on the story of her home, this was likely all too familiar for her, after all. She knew better than anyone what these kids were going through.
“Lothal,” the answer finally came, meekly as could be. Tom turned back to him, doing his best to smile.
“I’m Tom, don’t worry I’m less scary than I look,” Tom tried in the softest voice he could manage right now. “Who are your friends?” The kid sniffed a few times before turning to the others pointing.
“That’s Hulu and Hana,” he went, pointing at the twins. “That’s Revel,” he continued pointing to the boy Unkai was tending to. “That's Vibexa.” His voice started to quiver as he pointed to Jackalope, then looking down into the basket. “Jinaro,” he finished, holding back more crying.
“Now now, come here,” Tom went, holding him tight with his right arm.
“No one else made it, did they?”
“I don’t think so no.”
“I guess mother was right then… I’ll have to do,” Lothal continued, bringing out a golden huntress crown from under his clothes and clutching it tightly in his hands. ‘Oh buddy,’ Tom thought.
“Thank you… sir?”
“I’m no sir… well I'm a man if that is what you mean. And don’t worry about it, you've had it rough enough, you don't need to thank anyone.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
“That crazy bastard really managed to get us in today?” Sapphire couldn’t quite believe that. Perhaps the engineering guild was a lot less busy than she thought, or Tink held more sway than she had guessed.
“Yup, come on now, better hurry up,” Tink Junior replied. They had barely finished breakfast yet, but Sapphire guessed that would have to wait.
“What about the prototypes?” Dakota questioned, not yet moving from her seat.
“The rudder was easy enough, membrane leather did the trick just fine. And he managed to light himself on fire only two hours ago so the lighter is coming along well I think.”
“He lit himself on fire… and that's a good thing?” Sapphire had to ask, thinking back to Tom's warning about not getting a crazy guy.
“Well it worked. Not that it was too hard.”
“Wait, two hours ago. He hasn’t slept yet, has he?” Dakota questioned. ‘Going to a meeting with a sleeping crazy inventor, marvelous,’ Sapphire thought to herself.
“Noo, I tried to get him to go to bed. I woke up, when he burned himself on the drawing thing."
“He made those too?”
“Only the inside bit, didn’t have time for the wood. It's proof of concept after all. The lighter is a little big too.”
“How big?” Dakota questioned intently.
“About uhmmm... I mean you could hang it on your belt.”
Dakota sighed a little. “When is this meeting?”
“Oh it’s not until late in the afternoon. We were hoping you would lend us a hand.”
“That sounds fun. We got anything more important to do?” Balethon questioned, all the while stuffing his face full of fried eggs.
“We still have more things to find. That won’t matter though if we can’t afford them.” Dakota put down her utensils. “Let’s go lend a hand then.”
Having a local guide did help quite a bit with navigating. Especially since Junior seemed to know just about where everything was, even pointing out a few of the things they needed as they glided over the city. It had been a while since Sapphire last had to deal with this much traffic, she wasn’t a silvered huntress and tonselra champion for nothing though.
Balethon, on the other hand, earned some rather rude remarks from passersby when he nearly hit a family with children. Not that Dakota was much easier on him after that. “Seriously, watch where you are going. You’ll make people think we don’t teach the kids properly”
“Geez I said I was sorry, okay?”
“Down here, try not to hit anything,” Junior went in a sarcastic tone as he descended. Sapphire had been expecting to land on the street but apparently Junior thought they deserved special treatment as he set down on the roof.
Going down the stairs they found a, very much so, sleeping Tink at a workbench.
“Wake up dad, I told you to go to bed,” Junior went, kicking the chair. Tink woke with a start, looking around a tad confused.
“Oh I see, it's morning. Right, I have things to show you. Come now,” he went, leaving the room and dragging Dakota by the arm into the drawing-room. “Look, it can draw just like he said it could. Just some clay powder and that ghastly grey dye.” He sounded very excited as he presented a small grey stick to Dakota. It wasn’t even the length of her thumb and it was rather fat. Not at all like the ones Tom had brought.
“Try it out,” he continued, gesturing to a piece of paper on the table. Dakota did as instructed, drawing a line on the parchment. It did leave a nice trail on the page even if it was more of a fat smudge than the elegant lines Tom’s pencils could draw. “Not bad for a day's work, hey?”
“Definitely not. Very impressive,” Dakota had to admit, putting the thing down again. She gasped when she saw what it had done to her hand. “What in the... I need to wash my hands. Do you have water?
“Oh, sure, follow me,” Junior went as the two left to solve the problem.
“Right… whoops. I can see why you would want to put some wood around it. Still haven't worked out how to do that though.”
“You also need to sharpen it,” Sapphire interjected. She had tried Tom’s pencils before, which was clearly important for good results.
“Oh, of course. I’ll get the grindstones.”
“Just use a knife, it’s easier.”
“Oh… well okay then.”
“What about making it go away again. The rudder?”
“Oh, I just used some strips of membrane leather glued together into a little block, nice and cheap. Here,” he tossed Sapphire the little thing. It looked a lot more like what she had been expecting.
“Is that the lighter?” Balethon asked, looking at what Sapphire would best describe as a nice lantern that had been ripped apart poorly.
“Oh yes, I didn't have time to make that tiny thing so I just made the little spark thing and put it on a lantern. Look.” True to his word, he flicked the wheel on the side and the thing lit up with a burst of sparks, burning with a nice clean flame. “Alternatively, we could just sell these as self-lighting lanterns.”
“Dakota is gonna like this,” Sapphire concluded. “You did all this since yesterday?”
“Sure, the Dencil was the most difficult. I need to make a proper mold for that. It didn’t get hot enough either. It likes to crumble so I made a few to show off.”
“Okay then. What was it you wanted us for then?”
“Oh, I need some help with this thing,” he went, this time grabbing Sapphire by the arm to drag her along. She entertained him for the time being; he had done one hell of a job for one night after all. He went to the big room where they had found him sleeping. “I just needed to know about those naggnet things, so I started putting this together.”
“Uh uh, not happening,” Sapphire protested as she looked at his very rushed-looking sketches, which to her dismay had a jar of blitz gel on them. With what she assumed were wires sticking out of it.
“Why not?! I mean I still haven't figured out how to make the thin copper strands it talked about in the instructions, but it was very clear that you needed lightning. What better way to get it than blitz gel?”
“That stuff explodes… regularly,” Sapphire tried in the voice usually reserved for when Jackalope had a bad idea. It was as effective as always.
“I ain’t gonna hit it with a hammer or anything!” Tink protested, much to Sapphire's dismay.
“Have you ever worked with electricity?” She asked very pointedly.
“No…”
“Then let me teach you a few lessons I have learned. One, that stuff can and will blow up even when you think you know what you are doing. Two, it’s fucking loud when it does so and it breaks things. Three, the man who designed this stuff originally also has this stuff blow up on him… regularly. So you stand no chance.”
Tink looked somewhere between offended and a kid who had his toy taken away. “Well then what?” he replied with an exasperated shrug.
“We do as the instructions say of course?”
“But this is what the instructions said...”
‘Fuck!’ Sapphire really should have read those before betting Tom hadn't been this reckless.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Tom and Jackalope had sat down next to each other with their backs to the other kids so they didn’t have to look at their two dead sisters. Lothal was doing his best along with Zarko and Unkai to keep them distracted, but it was clear they still wanted to know what was going on.
“How many do you think they killed?”
“None, they're recruiting,” Jackalope replied darkly, staring back towards the keep as it got smaller in the distance. Tom leaned in to whisper into her ear, not wanting the kids to hear.
“Where do you think they're going next?”
“Knowing our luck they made it past us on the way here without us spotting them.”
“You don’t think that…
“I don't know, okay!” She replied angrily, head snapping to look at him. Of course she didn’t, how could she. She seemed to regret it though, turning to look down at the girl she was still clutching. “I was five… I guess she wins then.”
“Wins what?” Tom tried as delicately as he could.
“Most unlucky little girl.” Tom just put his head on her shoulder.
“If she will be half the badass as you are it can’t be all bad.”
“She will be even more badass. She will have unicorn’s blood.”
‘God I hope so,’ Tom thought to himself.
It was not much of a trip, Jarix was trying to go as fast as possible while being restrained by Zarko. They couldn’t have anyone falling off, and chances were good Jarix's job was far from done today. They had made the clearing in a matter of minutes, circling down to land by the edge of the waterhole.
‘Can you hear me?’ Tom tried to think as they were descending.
“Yes,” came the weary response. “Why have you brought the kids?” Jackalope seemed to react to that as well, so he guessed this was on the broad channel. He would rather spare the kids for now though. They didn’t need to have their faces rubbed in the fact they were likely all orphans now.
‘They’re all that's left.’ There was a fair bit of silence following that, coinciding with Jarix touching down and trotting over to the small shelter they had made for Kalestine.
“I take it you came here for blood, then?”
‘Please. We tried, we can’t help them.’ Tom and Jacky carried down the two girls, while the others handled the rest of the kids, trying to keep them away. Lothal was doing a remarkably good job of keeping calm, even if the same could not be said for the rest of them. The shock factor was clearly still in effect for them though.
Tom and Jackalope had sat down with Kalestine placing the two dead kids before her.
“You know the punishment for hurting a unicorn, you will be barred from heaven for doing that.” Jackalope didn’t seem to flinch at that, so Tom guessed that was common knowledge.
“Right away or at some point?” He had to ask. He reasoned that chances were pretty good he was going to hell anyway if he died. He could hardly be more of a heretic anyway around these parts.
“When you die, I think.”
“Good enough for me,” Tom replied, drawing his knife. Jackalope grabbed him by the hand, yanking him into an embrace. Nuzzling him closely and even giving him a boop, which he guessed was her way of trying a kiss. He returned the gesture as best he could. Then she released him, looking a bit coy.
“Just in case,” She went, looking down.
“Hey, I don’t think this will kill me. Besides, I don't even follow your gods,” Tom replied, turning back to Kalestine. “How much and where from?”
“I didn’t say I would let you,” Kalestine responded; Tom’s grip on the knife tightened. “I will let you try, for a price.”
“Name it,” Tom responded. ‘Bartering with the lives of a fucking baby.’ He tried not to think about how much that made him hate her right now.
“Find and kill the one who broke my horn,” Kalestine replied, switching into a vicious tone. “And make them suffer for it.”
“With pleasure,” Jackalope responded coldly. Tom had to admit he didn’t have a problem with that either. He was guessing that would fall under hunting down child murderers.
“Deal. Now, where and how much?”
“Do try and put it where it can’t be seen. I’m looking like a whipped draft horse already.” Tom had to admit, the glamour of when he had first seen her had sort of vanished. Magic life horse though, so he was sure that would return eventually. “You won’t need much, a few drops will do.”
That wasn’t too hard to manage, as he moved to her side. “Thank you,” he went as he nicked her by her cloven hoof. He had expected a horse’s hoof, but what the hell, it was hardly the strangest thing about her.
The small nick didn't bleed much but it did the trick as he scooped up some of the strange silvery liquid in the fuller of his knife. Jackalope brought the basket over, setting it down next to Tom and held the little girl's mouth open.
“When you run out of science, use magic I guess,” Tom went, tilting the knife to let the blood run into the little girl's mouth.
The effect was immediate as the liquid seemed to burn its way through the tongue and sides of the little girl's mouth, bright white light beaming out from where Tom was expecting a wound to be. There was just a quick flash then it was gone, with no evidence remaining.
He flinched back at the sight, it was a violent reaction. Jackalope was clearly not expecting that either, turning away from the flash of light for a split second. Kalestine let out a pained sound as the blood hit. Tom guessed she was paying for this somehow then. In fact, she appeared to be paying quite a lot.
Then the little girl convulsed, almost like she had been hit with an electric shock, eyes, and mouth shooting open, with the same blinding white light pouring from them. It looked more like something out of a horror film as the scream came, an agonizing desperate scream of a baby in great pain. She thrashed around, the light beaming from her. Tom felt he needed to do something, but Jackalope hit him in the chest with enough force to drive out his breath when he leaned forward.
“Don't touch her.”
The light slowly began to fade from blinding to bright to none as eventually the clear green of the kid’s eyes could be seen. The scream turning to the sweetest sound Tom could hope for. Crying.
__________________________________________________________________________________
The baby lives! Now be honest how many of you thought I was gonna kill the little baby? Ahh don't worry there is still a kid left and who knows baby might be a Hodor now. And Tink has been very productive it would seem, hopefully, his rushing nature doesn't lead to any horrible situations, we have enough of those at the moment.
As always let me know what you thought good and bad down below and may you all have an awesome day.
​
ko-fi For having a pretty picture commissioned.
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[LET'S BUILD] d100 ways to start mid conversation

When playing any ttrpg, it is important to remember that there are thousands of stories all happening outside of the players' own. A fun way to demonstrate this is by having them overhear a conversation as they enter a new environment (especially in a tavern). This can be used for humor, story, or even foreshadowing whats to come! In any case, jumping in mid conversation allows for some amazing NPC interactions that would otherwise be lost.
Note: These phrases can be said by anyone, but for an extra bit of randomness, you can roll against a separate NPC d100 table for some neat combinations and scenarios.
Note No. 2: For my starting list, I'll be using they/them pronouns, but you can substitute any pronouns you like when using this list! On a similar note, feel free to tweak any of these to fit your setting.
Update: I'm going to try to keep this as updated as I can, but classes need to come first, so it may be slightly delayed.
Update 2: Ooh look! Shiny! Never had one of those before!
Update 3: I filled out the last 5 entries to throw in some possible plot relevant snip bits.
  1. "...and they said 'Go to Hell!" So, I did"
  2. "You're telling me that I went though all that trouble to get you this one specific pig, and you give me a single copper coin?!"
  3. "I'm actually a dragon in disguise."
  4. "Did you hear about what happened to the Queen?"
  5. "... And thats how I slept with the Queen of Air and Darkness and got away with it."
  6. "How did you know?" "The birds."
  7. "It was absolutely dreadful! There was (insert reference to previous encounter here). Ugh, thats the last time I spend my holiday in (relevant location)."
  8. "I hope no one saw... gods damnit."
  9. "... the bounty is XXX Gold pieces, but you must do it wearing this."
  10. "INTERLOPER!"
  11. "... and they died in a tornado."
  12. "... excuse me sir, I seem to be missing an arm. Have you seen it?"
  13. "... biggest fish, I said. That doesn't count! It's not a fish!"
  14. "... yes, fine, he's tall and handsome, but I don't like the way he talks to her. Not one bit."
  15. "... Sure, nobody likes to lose a cart, but how are you going to get it out of there?"
  16. "I wouldn't if I were you. I don't buy from those foreign peddlers, I don't care what the price is."
  17. "... not a curse, just bad luck. Don't be ridiculous."
  18. "... if they notice you, just say you were lost and trying to find the path."
  19. "... just a dream! Don't read so much into it. I dreamed I was a horse once, do you think I went and galloped off into the pasture?"
  20. "So there I am, slathered in butter and praying to Chauntea for a good harvest..."
  21. "... hornswaggled out of good coin! Never trust (insert prominent character here)."
  22. "Did I ever tell you about the time I swam 100 miles back to shore?"
  23. "When does (prominent shop) close today?"
  24. "We're in the end times, mark my words!"
  25. "... no. No, I'm never going back there. Never, I say!"
  26. "Doesn't bite? How do you know?"
  27. "You don't know that. It could have belonged to anybody! One skull looks like another!"
  28. "Are you sure you've never heard it? Late at night when the wind is still..."
  29. "That can't be real gold. I mean, can it? How do we tell?"
  30. "Look closely. And be honest. Do I look older than I did yesterday?"
  31. "No, it's not sick, I feel... strange... like my feet aren't quite on the ground, can't describe it..."
  32. "Well, ignore her. That old woman babbles nonsense all the time. Last year she said she had a troll trapped in a jar in her cellar. Did you believe that, too?"
  33. "Those are some good arguments, but you really shouldn't trust the hag."
  34. "... and I'm quite proud that I can also do it the other way around!"
  35. "That doesn't sound at all like an owlbear to me."
  36. "... So I asked them 'You wanna start a fight?' and the bastard punched me in the face!" "Well, what did you expect?" "A yes or a no! Not to lose a tooth!"
  37. "... And that's how I saved supper after the salt got knocked into it!"
  38. "By the way, about your debt with the barkeep... I paid it off. I just need this to be your last drink."
  39. "This map can't be real!" "Shhhh! Quiet down!"
  40. "Have I asked about Aunt Barb already? I swear it has been too long since I've been home!"
  41. "... and that's what happened to our third dog. So anyways, once I finished cleaning up..."
  42. "I coulda sworn I left it by the sink, but what do you know, it was under me chair!" "Ya know, Pa, I really gotta go open the shop..."
  43. "And then you wouldn't believe what I found with it! Two whole copper pieces! Why when in I was a lad..."
  44. "... So there I am, going hot and heavy at it, and could you ever have guessed it? Started to rain! I bet the hay I harvested is molding already..."
  45. "So we got married for the fifth time, on account of pregnancy..."
  46. "I swear it's true! This time they are real!"
  47. “...Listen, if even half of the stories you heard from soldiers were true, they’d each have a dozen bastards crawling around by now. There’s no way he saw a unicorn”
  48. “... so I told him- don’t open that chest! It wasn’t there before. Must be a mimic! So of course he opens it and sees the gold we took. That’s when Breniard says ‘Gods! That sleeping mimic must’ve eaten all your gold!’ Hehe, he’s a fine lad, got his tongue cut out of course, but he doesn’t complain about it much.”
  49. “... I’m telling ya, we’re wasting our time and risking our necks trying to be small-time thrives. The REAL money is in religion.”
  50. “Why should I care if some adventurer were coming to kill the boss- it’s not like he pays us enough to risk our hides for him. Seven hells, did you hear that Morbar the Dreadful gives his men 3 weeks of vacation time?”
  51. “... I raise 4.” “Sod off, you’re bluffing. I raise 10” “4’s all I have left.” “Fine, throw in that dagger you won off Mikel”
  52. “... and how should I know? She never talks to me. Never talks to anyone as far as I know. She just sharpens that axe o’ hers and hums that same song over and over again.”
  53. (Singing) “... oh! For the iron maidenhead! I prep my sword and rush ahead! And if my sword should bend insteaaaaad- at least she’ll mind me satchel” “Those aren’t the words, you know.” “Oh everyone’s a critic...”
  54. “Why do you wear that eyepatch all the time? I’ve seen your eye. It’s fine. And we don’t work in low light, so what gives?” “Look- it’s all about cultivating an image. Some adventurer rushes in and sees a man with an eyepatch they think, ‘oh- now here’s a man of danger. A man who won’t think twice before taking one of MY eyes.’ Get’s ‘em shakin’ in their boots.” “...Okay, but aren’t they just as likely to think-‘Now here’s a man that won’t see my sword comin’ from the left’ ?” “... Shut up Breyla.”
  55. “This ale tastes like a goat’s arse... best we’ve had all month”
  56. “... shhh! Quiet, something’s coming... (Passes gas) Hahaha! You should’ve seen your face.”
  57. “... you know that dwarf? The one with the beard?” “They all have beards, Podd” “Sod off, you know the one I mean.”
  58. "...and I said, 'that's not a cucumber!'"
  59. "Don't let her go. You remember Alma's boy, Gunther, went off to soldier, ended up hanged as a bandit."
  60. "Well, it has to be somewhere. It's too big to just blow away in the wind. Keep looking!"
  61. "Exorcism? No, I think she just hit her head. If it was a demon wouldn't it be more, I don't know, evil or something?"
  62. "But if I can get it to grow here, think how much it would sell for!"
  63. "Nah, didn't sound like a bird. More like a, a, a sort of hissing singing, I guess?"
  64. "No, no, she was speaking Common, just with an accent so thick you could barely understand her."
  65. "A cloak dyed so bright, it looked like the dye was still wet. They say that's what the Emperors of the East wear, you know. Where do you suppose he got it?"
  66. "Well, even if she could do it, that would be witchcraft, and I want no part of it. But I don't believe you anyway."
  67. "Here's what you do: you dig up an anthill, crush up all the ants, mix 'em with ale, and drink it all in one gulp. She'll feel better before you know it."
  68. "I always get the feeling that I'm being eavesdropped upon." "It's probably nothing."
  69. "... and that's the last time I try to seduce a dragon!"
  70. “You look tired everything ok?” “Dreamt of god again” “isn’t that the fourth time this week?” “Yeah it’s really been getting on my nerves.”
  71. ...and when the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing and the cleric was never heard from again.
  72. “And I, in my great wizatude, declare (what ever he needs to declare!”
  73. “Not me says I.”
  74. “Beware of the bears that come out in the fog…”
  75. “Duckgoats! Have you ever seen a duckgoat? They're part duck and part goat. A duck with a goat's ass.”
  76. “Small things come in big packages!”
  77. "Was he wearing the long scarf?" "No, the bow-tie and had a long chin."
  78. "Those are only the prices for strangers. It's half that for locals."
  79. "... as they took my father away on the plague cart, my mother turned to me and said 'I'm beginning to think they actually said 'Bring out your *dead*"
  80. "I used to be a gigolo like you, until I took an arrow to the..."
  81. "Al? Ziggy? Gooshie? Are you there?" [Looks at group] "Oh, boy."
  82. "... I'm just saying there are advantages to the occasional genocide."
  83. "So he used his dying breath to call out the name of a sled?"
  84. "... doesn't even know he's actually the true heir to the thro..." "Shh, he's here."
  85. "... and I said, 'that's not actually your name, you're his monster.'"
  86. "...the prefect sacrifice isn't just going to walk in that door so we can complete the ritual, are they?"
  87. "... and you bury the last witness's body and we're done."
  88. "... and she couldn't get it out. So she grabbed a pair of scissors, and I said, 'You're not sticking those...'"
  89. "...and another thing I've been wondering lately, Oh, baby, Tell me where have you been?"
  90. "... and that was the last time I ever wore pants."
  91. "...It's quite euphoric really..."
  92. “...about it from their perspective, it’s like, maybe WE’RE the bad guys, you know?”
  93. " ... heh goes to show just how important it is to have a fresh pair of underpants on."
  94. “...about it from their perspective, it’s like, maybe WE’RE the bad guys, you know?”
  95. “...did A backflip, snapped the bad guy’s neck, and saved the day!”
  96. "How did you know it was a mimic?" "When is it not a mimic?"
  97. Insult of the PC's mother
  98. "Did you hear about plot relevant location?"
  99. Foreshadow a future plot point
  100. "So, you're finally awake, huh?"
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Immortals Fenyx Rising - Review Thread

Game Information

Game Title: Immortals Fenyx Rising
Platforms:
Trailers:
Developer: Ubisoft Quebec
Publisher: Ubisoft
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 80 average - 75% recommended - 92 reviews

Critic Reviews

PS: I couldn't fit all of the reviews into this thread because of Reddit's character limit. So I removed non-English reviews from this thread. Please go to OpenCritic to see all of the available reviews.
ACG - Jeremy Penter - Buy
"One of Ubisoft's most enjoyable games this year. Exploration is top notch!"
Attack of the Fanboy - Diego Perez - 4 / 5 stars
Ubisoft has a knack for creating beautiful, expansive open worlds, but none of them are as compelling to explore as Immortals Fenyx Rising. It's a sprawling, colorful playground with plenty of nooks and crannies to get lost in.
AusGamers - KostaAndreadis - 8.6 / 10
And an adventure starring a mortal out of their depth in the land of gods and monsters and thick Greek accents.
Bazimag - Sina Golabzade - Persian - 8.4 / 10
The vast number of places Immortals Fenyx Rising were taking its core ideas from, should have made it an unimaginative title but in action, it is a very good and welcoming surprise. From its revisionist take on Greek mythology to the very intricate puzzles with many, many moving parts, this is one the most fun open world games in recent years.
But Why Tho? - Kate Sanchez - 10 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a visually stunning, heartfelt, and welcoming game for everyone and easily lands the honor of being my game of the year.
CGMagazine - Preston Dozsa - 3 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising has a strong argument for being the nadir of open world action-adventure games.
COGconnected - Jaz Sagoo - 87 / 100
At first glance, it may seem like Immortals is a mish-mash of several games that came before but it’s from the ashes of these that Fenyx Rises. Oozing with charm, you’ll fall in love with the characterization and delivery of the narrative and want to explore every nook and cranny of the rich and diverse Grecian world.
Cerealkillerz - Nick Erlenhof - German - 7 / 10
If you are a fan of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, you like riddles and don't really care about a good story and characters, you will like what the game has to offer. It's a colourful, amusing world with a lot of riddles and interesting fights packed in a comic version of greek mythology, with everything that ubisofts open worlds had to offer lately. Everyone else should wait for a sale.
Critical Hit - Brad Lang - 9 / 10
A consistently compelling progression curve, gorgeous world, and a staggering amount of fun content makes Immortals Fenyx Rising a truly fantastic game, even if it is rather derivative at times.
DASHGAMER.com - Dan Rizzo - 9.5 / 10
For Mythology’s legacy to be cemented, and for an impending doom to be put to rest, Immortals Fenyx Rising outperforms and outclasses many action-adventure titles released this year. With that said, Immortals Fenyx Rising is an essential for all gamers, especially those whom have brandished themselves with brand new hardware. A Game of the Year contender.
Digital Chumps - Ben Sheene - 9 / 10
Though Immortals Fenyx Rising may borrow familiar elements from other series, this new IP from Ubisoft establishes a unique identity through the lens of Greek mythology by using humor, intelligent puzzles, powerful combat, and clever world building.
Digital Trends - Tom Caswell - 4 / 5 stars
Immortals Fenyx Rising merges the best and worst of Ubisoft games with The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.
DualShockers - Sam Woods - 7.5 / 10
A vibrant, busy world means there's plenty of exploration in Immortals Fenyx Rising. It draws inspiration from some fantastic titles, however, at times struggles to really differentiate itself from those that have come before it.
EGM - Michael Goroff - 6 / 10
If it came out a few months ago or a few months later, Immortals Fenyx Rising might have stood out more. But the problem is that it's coming after a gauntlet of better Ubisoft products without doing much to improve upon the formula. Sometimes, it actively works against itself in what it's decided to steal from Breath of the Wild, too. However, its surprisingly engaging story and a late-game trek up a mountain save it from being entirely lost to history.
Easy Allies - Michael Damiani - 8 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising delivers a stylized open world odyssey that revels in its mythology.
Eurogamer - Christian Donlan - No Recommendation / Blank
This Greek myth has a few borrowings too many.
Filmweb - Anna Rogala - Polish - 7 / 10 stars
This tale about gods and monsters is a perfect example of telling Greek mythology in a right way. Such a shame that there’s to many frustrating puzzles and not enough side quest to begin with.
Gadgets 360 - Akhil Arora - 6 / 10
For all the deserved flak coming Immortals Fenyx Rising's way for delivering a brazen Zelda clone, the Ubisoft game deserves some praise for executing most of the ideas well — and even adding to them.
Game Informer - Brian Shea - 9 / 10
Rewarding exploration, satisfying combat, and imaginative puzzles converge with endearing storytelling and well-executed humor to provide an excellent open-world experience
Game Rant - Joshua Duckworth - 4 / 5 stars
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a satirical take on Greek mythology that features a gripping story mixed with familiar gameplay features.
Game Revolution - Michael Leri - 3 / 5 stars
It is not an unforgivable sin that Immortals Fenyx Rising does not live up to Breath of the Wild, a tall task that its upcoming sequel might not even be capable of doing. But it is quite disappointing that it only plays dress up with the hero’s tunic and misses what that green garment stands for. Puzzles sometimes have inventive solutions yet the good ones are drowned out by how often they repeat and how few tools Fenyx has. And the game’s colorful world isn’t a sandbox that needs exploring, but is more akin to a typical open-world map littered with repeatable, obviously marked activities. These shortcomings make it less of Ubisoft’s take on Breath of the Wild and more of a Ubisoft-branded “Breath of the Mild” that could have been so much more.
GameOnAUS - Royce Wilson - Recommended
The story is compelling enough to keep players engaged, the humour is well-pitched, and overall Immortals Fenyx Rising is a solid and enjoyable game for an oft-overlooked audience. While it’s not likely to top any Game Of The Year lists, it doesn’t have to, and as a gaming parent I’m glad to see age-appropriate adventures making an appearance for younger gamers to enjoy too.
GameSkinny - Jordan Baranowski - 8 / 10 stars
It may look like a Breath of the Wild clone, but Immortals Fenyx Rising has a lot of unique charm that makes it a must-play for fans of the genre.
GameSpew - Richard Seagrave - 8 / 10
It’s likely that those who take a chance on Immortals Fenyx Rising will be pleasantly surprised, especially once they’ve got past its opening handful of hours and developed their character a little. While it may seem a little basic at first, and players may wander into encounters that they’re really not prepared for, it soon settles down into a hugely enjoyable historical romp that is suitable for all ages and skill levels. The cutesy art style is just the icing on the cake, drawing you into a world that is charming and vibrant. With its clear Breath of the Wild inspirations, Ubisoft’s Immortals Fenyx Rising might just be the surprise hit of the year.
GameSpot - Suriel Vazquez - 7 / 10
It mostly relies on borrowed ideas, but when its snarky tone isn't getting in the way, Immortals Fenyx Rising is a solid open-world adventure.
GameXplain - GameXplain - Liked

Video Review - Quote not available

Gamerheadquarters - Jason Stettner - 8 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a great experience, though a tad repetitive and a bit of a grind at times as well. I might sound negative in what I’m describing, but this is a very full and enchanting time.
Gamers Heroes - Blaine Smith - 75 / 100
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a charming and fun adventure into Greek mythology with Ubisoft's trademark core design elements thrown in to support the experience. It is a worthwhile adventure for those looking to scratch that Breath of the Wild itch, but one that experienced Ubisoft fans may feel is a little too familiar.
GamesBeat - Mike Minotti - 4 / 5 stars
Immortals is not a masterpiece like the game that it takes so much inspiration from, but it is ambitious and impressive in its own right. It feels good to play, and it gives you a lot to play with. It won’t be the unforgettable adventure that Breath of the Wild is so for so many, but Immortals still offers a journey worth taking.
Gaming on PC - David Dominguez - 9 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a surprisingly refreshing open world adventure that is not only extremely fun to play, but also very respectful of the player’s time.
GamingBolt - Shubhankar Parijat - 7 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a decent – if flawed – debut for Ubisoft's newest IP. It's much more condensed and tightly packed than the publisher's games have been over the last decade, its world is beautiful, and exploration and traversal, in spite of some issues, are largely fun. At the same time, it also feels like a stripped back version of the games it tries to emulate, and with its technical issues, it unfortunately keeps getting in its own way.
GamingTrend - Ron Burke - 90 / 100
Immortals: Fenyx Rising is an excellent new adventure title for Ubisoft, full to bursting with genuine comedy, excellent gameplay, and devious puzzles. While there are a few technical hiccups, underutilized DualSense, and sub-30 fps Switch ports, the game is fantastic on all platforms. Come for the bizarre Greek mythology, stay for the stellar gameplay -- Immortals: Fenyx Rising is a fantastic holiday treat.
Glitched Africa - Marco Cocomello - 9 / 10
I hope everyone gets a chance to play Immortals: Fenyx Rising because there is a lot of fun to be had here. I found its world more interesting than Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla to the point where I actually wanted to go places and solve every single puzzle. Its combat is addictive and its character build system means you can approach it from so many ways. All this combines to deliver a fantastic adventure worth your time. Don’t let this game pass you by.
God is a Geek - Chris White - 9 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is an excellent adventure with challenging and intricate puzzles, a wonderful combat system, and a rich world ripe for exploring. The dialogue is funny, poignant, and thrilling, with a story that explores every facet of the human condition in a way that is relatable for everyone.
Guardian - 3 / 5 stars
Ubisoft's derivative gods and monsters game has divine charm, but starts to feel like a golden cage
Hardcore Gamer - James Cunningham - 4.5 / 5
Immortals: Fenyx Rising doesn't have any right to be as good as it turned out to be.
IGN - Cam Shea - 7 / 10
With a gorgeous mythological world to fight through and explore, it's a shame Immortals Fenyx Rising's puzzles are so unremarkable.
Impulsegamer - Stephen Heller - 3 / 5
That might sound a little harsh, but in all honesty I wonder who I would recommend Immortals Fenyx Rising to. If you have children or young adults around you and you'd like to connect over a game that the whole family can play, this is definitely a safe bet. If you're not put off by the narrative that I've described here, and are looking for a decent time filler to round out your year that will put you inside a nice looking world, then yeah, this could work for you. However if you don't fit into those two groups, I think your time would be best spent playing something with a little more meaning.
Kotaku - Zack Zwiezen - Unscored
Immortals impressed me. It’s an unexpected success, blending comedy and condensed open-world gameplay into one of the most entertaining games I’ve played this year. Even if the combat lacks some variety and the main quests are a bit stale, the rest of Immortals is fantastic.
Marooners' Rock - Andrew Peggs - 9.1 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising provides a one-of-a-kind experience in both the Greek Mythology and Action-Adventure behind the game. If you’re looking for a unique game where you’ll be spending hours diving into Greek Mythology, Immortals Fenyx Rising is the perfect fit.
Nexus Hub - Vincent Kühl - 8 / 10
Ubisoft Quebec has lovingly crafted a game I can finally be excited about as much as the Assassin's Creed folk. If Immortals Fenyx Rising is to become a franchise for Ubisoft, they can take it in any direction with a vast amount of mythologies to explore.
Nintendo Life - Kate Gray - 7 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising tries to capture lightning in a bottle with its Breath of the Wild-inspired gameplay, but ends up being more of a lightning thief; it's not as nice to look at and the puzzles aren't as satisfying. Still, the combat is fun, the storytelling is excellent and, despite not being anywhere near as polished as Nintendo's 2017 effort, it certainly does a passable impression. If you crave more Zelda and don't mind the off-brand version, go for it, but if for some reason you still haven't played Breath of the Wild, then that's the game to go for.
NintendoWorldReport - Matthew Zawodniak - 6 / 10
I love the setting based in Greek mythology, and I've been enjoying the adventure almost non-stop, only ever getting bored during the icon hunt whenever I reach a new area once every couple of hours. It's a shame that Switch players will be getting such a compromised version, since I really feel like the weak port does a huge disservice to everything the game succeeds at. I think you should play Immortals: Fenyx Rising, but you should not do so on Switch if you can help it.
PC Gamer - Andy Kelly - 72 / 100
This is a fun, vibrant open world game with a great sense of humour. I just wish it felt nicer to play.
PCGamesN - Iain Harris - 7 / 10
While Ubisoft doesn't always strike the balance between Greek history and humour, Immortals Fenyx's Rising's open-world is a constant delight
PlayStation Universe - Neil Bolt - 8 / 10
With Immortals: Fenyx Rising, Ubisoft has created a refreshingly compact throwback open-world adventure that can be forgiven for its aggressive repurposing of other games best bits because it shapes them to fits its own style. The exploration is brisk and eventful, the puzzles are varied, with the right level of challenge and simplicity, and the approach to storytelling ultimately pays off. The DualSense features are a bit hit and miss, and it's not exactly the best advert for the power of PS5, but much like the game it cribs from, Immortals' qualities outshine any need for major technical showcases.
Polygon - Tyler Colp - Unscored
Maybe open-world games don't need to boast 175 hours of playtime even while torturing developers with months of crunch. Immortals, and by extension Ubisoft, isn't immune to this problem, but there are pieces here that argue for a shift in the scope of a genre that has historically been more interested in simulating the minute details of a horse's genitalia than caring for the people who worked on them. Immortals makes an impression because it's not a massive game like Assassin's Creed Valhalla, even if it benefits from the many systems and ideas that Ubisoft's open-world games have refined over the years. Its sharpest ideas have just enough time to dig in before the game smacks you back down into an experience you could have anywhere else.
PowerUp! - Leo Stevenson - 9.1 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is the most successful Zelda-like since Darksiders. It uses Breath of the Wild as a base and delivers a colourful, vibrant world to discover.
Press Start - James Mitchell - 9 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is an epic adventure that perfectly leverages the rich, storied history of Greek mythology with a focused and honed version of Ubisoft's now-ubiquitous open-world design. Deviating from the norm, the game's unique design and structure help Immortals be one of Ubisoft's most focused adventures and easily one of their most enjoyable yet.
Pure Xbox - PJ O'Reilly - 8 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising undoubtedly owes a huge debt to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, borrowing wholesale as it does from its core gameplay mechanics and narrative structure. However, what Ubisoft Quebec has come up with here also adds enough of its own spin on proceedings, with a strong personality and sense of humour sat alongside some brilliantly designed puzzles, flashy, satisfying combat and a huge world full of secrets, treasures and Ancient Greek mythology to discover. It may falter slightly in the final stretch by wrestling away player freedom and funnelling you through its overly long endgame, but this is still a hugely entertaining, technically impressive Ancient Greek romp that's well worth experiencing.
Push Square - Liam Croft - 7 / 10
While Immortals Fenyx Rising may not have too many ideas to call its own, Ubisoft has created a successful amalgamation worth checking out. Simplistic but enjoyable combat provides the basis for a stunning world full of explorative opportunities and a humorous narrative that'll have you chuckling once or twice. Just don't let anyone know what the cause was. Puzzles are definitely a source of frustration, but if you can look past them, Immortals Fenyx Rising provides a formulaic but entertaining experience.
Rock, Paper, Shotgun - Alice Bell - Unscored
An imaginative, fun action game that has a nice story about family and personal growth at the heart of its epic adventure, and a good sense of humour, where you turn Aphrodite from a gracious tree back into a bitchy hot girl.
Rocket Chainsaw - Andrew Cathie - 3.5 / 5 stars
Overall, Immortals Fenyx Rising is a fun, yet unexceptional experience.
Shacknews - Ozzie Mejia - 8 / 10
Ubisoft Quebec aimed high with Immortals Fenyx Rising, crafting a new hero, an epic tale filled with larger-the-life gods and terrifying monsters, and a giant island playground. It's an exciting story filled with memorable characters, even if some of the twists near the end are a bit hard to swallow. It doesn't quite pack the same punch as the studio's previous effort, Assassin's Creed Odyssey, if only because there aren't as many NPCs or other characters to play off of. For what it is, though, Immortals is a fun island getaway with simple-to-grasp combat and a lot of well thought-out puzzles. The Immortals legend isn't fully realized yet, but this is at least a good start.
Skewed & Reviewed - Gareth von Kallenbach - 4 / 5 stars
The game is a fun and immersive adventure which will provide gamers with plenty of hours of enjoyment.
Stevivor - Steve Wright - 7.5 / 10
Though it liberally borrows from Breath of the Wild, Immortals Fenyx Rising is fresh and fun, offering up an exciting new IP I hope to see more of. That said, its endgame pacing issues certainly don’t do it any favours, nor does the timing of its release.
TechRaptor - 7 / 10
Immortals: Fenyx Rising is a vast and entertaining adventure with excellent gameplay. Unfortunately, the storyline and quest system are weak and the game feels rushed. It's a fun game but one that lives in Breath of the Wild's shadow.
TheGamer - Cian Maher - 4 / 5 stars
From stoner oracles to gods who have been turned into trees, to the sheer batshittiness of its entire cast of gods and monsters, Immortals Fenyx Rising is a genuine joy to play, and a real treat for Greek mythology lovers.
TheSixthAxis - Aran Suddi - 8 / 10
Putting the obvious parallels to one side, Immortals Fenyx Rising is a thoroughly enjoyable game. The main character is very likeable, and the humour between the characters is great, while the Golden Isle looks fantastic and is filled with content without also feeling overwhelming. It takes a while for the combat to grow, and the end portion of the game drags on, but if you want a fun and compact open world game then Immortals Fenyx Rising is well worth playing.
TrueAchievements - Luke Albiges - 4 / 5 stars
Questionable writing aside, Immortals Fenyx Rising represents a strong start for Ubisoft's new IP. There's plenty more that could be done with the archives of Greek mythology left relatively untouched here — some of which will no doubt be covered in upcoming DLC — but the same format could easily be applied to other pantheons, just as Assassin's Creed uses different iconic time periods as its backdrop each instalment. Mechanics are fast, fluid, and flexible, while visuals are crisp, clean, and colourful, even if the art style might not be to everyone's tastes.
VG247 - Lauren Aitken - 4 / 5 stars
As far as next-gen titles go, Immortals Fenyx Rising is definitely one you should be adding to your list. It’s available on almost every platform – sorry, mobile gamers – and looks fantastic on the Xbox Series X, which I got to review it on. Overall, it’s a charming, cerebral and funny time-sink adventure that’ll really cheer you up and distract you if you’re having a quiet festive season this year.
Vamers - Edward Swardt - 95 / 100
Immortals Fenyx Rising is an incredible title. While the aesthetic might not be for everyone and its open-world nature will eventually become repetitive, the game is so chock-full of optional content and beautiful vistas that this eventuality will take a long time to reach. The story is wonderfully narrated and crafted to work incredibly well with the graphical design of the game too. Better still, the humorous approach to ancient Greek mythology alongside the bold and colourful aesthetic; all wonderfully complement each other in ways that only Legend of Zelda games have been capable of in the past. It is rare for any company, let alone Ubisoft, to bring out a brand-new Intellectual Property and for it to reign supreme right from the start. However, Immortal Fenyx Rising certainly manages this seemingly impossible feat with aplomb. Fenyx is a relatable character, and the incredible narration between Zeus and Prometheus are wonderfully nostalgic for any lover of Saturday Morning Cartoons. The gameplay constantly makes players want to come back for more, with countless secrets, puzzles and story elements to keep players engaged for hours and hours of enjoyment. Immortals Fenyx Rising is very near perfect, and ticks all the right boxes for a game that is gorgeous, enjoyable, addictive and highly entertaining.
Wccftech - Francesco De Meo - 8 / 10
Despite a huge lack of innovation, bearing more than a passing resemblance to Zelda: Breath of the Wild's central mechanics, Immortals: Fenyx Rising is a great open-world game featuring a light-hearted, humorous tone, great combat, tons of content, and a well-designed main quest. It's also reminiscent, in a good way, of 3D puzzle games from the PlayStation 2 and GameCube era. Sure, the game does suffer a bit from the usual Ubisoft open-world design bloat, but do not let this put you off: Fenyx's journey to save the Greek Gods and restore the world to its former beauty is one worth experiencing.
WellPlayed - Kieron Verbrugge - 9 / 10
Immortals is more than just a fun open-world with slick combat and massive Breath of the Wild vibes, it's also a superbly written and legitimately funny take on Greek mythology. This is one of Ubisoft's best games in years
Windows Central - Jennifer Locke - 4.5 / 5 stars
Ubisoft created an instant classic with Immortals Fenyx Rising, and I'm eager to see where the franchise goes from here. Its breathtaking art style and landscapes are complemented by fun combat and thoughtful puzzles. While the story itself isn't anything special, the humor imbued within each conversation makes it memorable.
Worth Playing - Chris "Atom" DeAngelus - 8 / 10
Overall, Immortals: Fenyx Rising is a good game. It's a shameless clone, but it's fun, and it's clear that Ubisoft's take on the formula was done with enthusiasm. If you were disappointed that this year's Breath of the Wild game was a Dynasty Warriors title, then Immortals might scratch that itch. It's always going to live in the shadow of the games that inspired it, but sometimes, all you want to do is climb some cliffs and slay some monsters, and Immortals provides exactly what it promises.
Xbox Achievements - Matt Lorrigan - 85 / 100
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a strange beast, then. Much of it feels very familiar, and you won’t find many things here that haven’t been done before. Yet, it manages to pull together so many different aspects with such proficiency and love for the source material that it’s impossible not to simply enjoy soaking it all up, in an adventure worthy of the Greek heroes of old.
ZTGD - Ken McKown - 9.5 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is by far one of the best surprises of 2020. It shot directly up to the top of my best games of the year. I cannot express how much fun I had with this game. I kept coming back to it with tons of other titles calling for my attention. It is the best game Ubisoft has dropped this year and the promise of more DLC has me dreaming of returning to the world. With back to back excellent outings the AC Odyssey team continues to impress me. I cannot wait to see what they do after they wrap up the DLC for this game. Do not sleep on this title, it is one of the best of the year by a longshot.
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what does it mean when you bet each way on a horse video

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An each way bet is effectively 2 separate bets, one for the horse to win the race, and one for it to place. Place means that your selection will finish the race in either position, 1, 2 or 3. Places can sometimes go into 4 or 5 depending on the race type and the number of runners. Odds are either paid at 1/4 odds or 1/5 of odds for the place. Why bet Each Way? Each Way betting gives you a return even if your horse doesn’t win. For bigger price horses, this could still be at significant odds. How does an Each Way bet work? When you place an Each Way bet, you are actually placing two wagers for twice the stake. The first part of the bet concerns the win, and for you to see a return from this part of the wager, your selection must be declared the event’s winner. Each way betting (EW or E/W) is a popular form of betting, usually done on horse racing. It can be used by bettors as a form of insurance should their chosen horse/horses narrowly fail to win. The place part of the bet effectively increases their chance of making a return, even if it’s not the full amount a win would have brought. The each-way terms offered mean that if the horse finishes in the first four places, your bet is paid at 4/1 (a quarter of the odds offered). If the horse wins, you will be paid £22. Of that total, £17 is for the win-only bet at odds of 16/1 while the other £5 comes from the each-way part of the bet at 4/1. Each way betting in horse racing consists of two bets. The first is for a chosen horse to win a particular race. The second is for the horse to finish in one of the predetermined positions offered for that race. You must double your stake to cover each one, given that an each way bet consists of two parts. What Is An Each-Way Bet? Each-way bets are very common in racing, and starting to be a little bit more common in sporting events for events where there are gold, silver, bronze medals up for grabs. Most commonly in the racing side of things though, you can place an each-way bet on a horse you may not quite have the confidence in to place a bet on straight out for the win, as you may have in other sporting event. Dutching is a term that refers to the strategy of betting on more than one horse in a race. For example, if you’re sure that one of the two 3/1 joint favourites is going to win a race, you will bet on them both. Mathematically, betting on two 3/1 shots is the same as having one bet at even-money, so you can see the potential merits of dutching. An each way bet is a bet made up of two parts: a ‘win bet’ and a ‘place bet’. For example, if you’re placing an each way bet on a horserace, two bets of equal amounts are made on the same horse. One bet is for the horse to win (win bet) and the second is for the horse to place (place bet). £5 on the horse to win the race £5 on the horse to finish 1st, 2nd, or 3rd When you place an each-way bet on a horse using Matched Betting, you will have to lay both of the bets separately. Firstly you will lay £5 on the win market to cover the win half of the bet, then you would lay £5 on the place market to cover the place part of the bet. Horse Racing. In an each-way bet your stake is doubled, as you are betting on the selection to win, and on the selection to be placed. So a £5 each way bet will cost £10 as the bet is made up of £5 win and £5 place. The place part of the bet will be paid at a fraction of the win price.

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what does it mean when you bet each way on a horse

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