All dates estimated, summaries pulled from all Howard Stern social media and Brent and Katelyn's Twitter accounts, and Brent's agent's website, errors most likely exist...Created solely so there would be a semi-accurate record. Typos and grammatical errors are my own and will not be corrected. Some early history missing. 2018, 2019, and 2020 contain most of Brent's on-air swinging stories and is the emphasis of the post. I know it is long.
​
January 1st, 1989 Brent graduates Northeast High School and joins The US Marine Corp
January 1st, 1991 Brent is awarded the Navy Achievement Medal, Persian Gulf War
January 1st, 1992 Brent completes the Leadership seminar at the Marine Corps Institute (MCI).
January 1st, 1992 Brent obtains his FCC License for Radio Broadcasting for the Academy of Radio & Television Broadcasting
January 1st, 1992 Bent enrolls at Irvine Valley College to study Criminal Justice
January 1st, 1993 Brent enrolls at St. Petersburg College to Study Philosophy
January 1st, 1993 Brent leaves the US Marine Corps as a Non-Commission OfficeAviation Operations Specialist
October 1st, 1993 - May 1st, 1995 Brent works as an Assistant Promotions Director for Jacor Communications in Tampa on WXTB 98 Rock
February 1st, 1994 - May 1st, 1995 Brent works as the Technical Director for The Home Shopping Network in Tampa, FL
May 1st, 1995 - September 1st, 1997 Brent works as Promotions & Marketing Director for Clear Channel Communications in Tampa, FL on Thunder 103.5
September 1st, 1997 - April 1st, 2000 Brent works as Executive ProduceCo-Host for Clear Channel Communications in Tampa, FL on WTBT-FM
April 1st, 2000 - February 1st, 2004 Brent works as Executive ProduceCo-Host (w/Mr. BTLS Clem), Clear Chan, nel Communications in Tampa, FL
February 1st, 2002 - Mr. Clem and Brent faced animal cruelty charges from the airing of Bubba's Road Kill Barbecue.
February 23rd, 2004 Mr. Clem, Brent, and others are fired from Clear Channel Communications. Brent, while still being paid by Mr. Clem, remains off the air until August 2005.
September 1st, 2005 The hiring of Mr. Clem to host weekday afternoons on Howard 101/Sirius Satellite Radio is announced
January 9th, 2006 Mr. BTLS Clem and Brent appear on the HS Show and admit to having held a "chub off" on their show. Mr. Clem stated that he didn't have the biggest penis but that Brent's was smaller than his.
October 20th, 2009 Brent challenges Mr. Moonshine Miller in a drink off during which he has a mental break down, becomes violent, calls Mr. Miller a faggot multiple times, and attempts to assault Mr. Miller by throwing a trash can at him. After the fight, Brent retreats to the studio's green room, where he assumes the fetal position, and then breaks down in tears while begging not to be fired. His inexcusable behavior is captured in one of the all-time funniest YouTube videos.
January 1st, 2011 Brent runs as a Candidate for City Council, District 3, St. Petersburg, FL. He loses.
April 1st, 2013 Brent resigns from the BTLS network with little notice. Rumors abound of a falling out between Mr. Clem and Brent.
August 1st, 2013 an audiotape was released of Mr. Clem voicing a commercial for Vermont Teddy Bear. In the commercial, Mr. Clem makes racist remarks.
August 15th, 2013 Mr. Clem theorizes "someone who had access to my world" cobbled together the audio from snippets recorded when Mr. Clem worked for Clear Channel-owned WXTB-FM.
January 24, 2018 Mr. Memet Walker challenges Brent to an I.Q. test offering that much of Brent's expertise is often later found to be wrong.
February 28th, 2018 Mr. Walker and Brent take their I.Q. tests and Brent offered that he "crushed 2 of the 10 test sections" and that his score would be in the 120s.
March 6th, 2018 Mr. Walker scores 121 on his I.Q. test easily besting Brent's Ralph Cirella-isque 112. The test administrator suggested Brent's lower score was the result of his slow processing speed, something measured by the test.
May 1st, 2018 Brent describes that having his prostate stimulated is the most amazing thing ever.
May 9th, 2018 Brent revealed his wife signed a piece of paper guaranteeing him sex whenever he wants it.
June 20th, 2018 Mr. Clem and Brent settle their feud on-air with Mr. Clem stating, I’m so disappointed and feel betrayed because Brent is truly one of my best friends in the world and that Brent had changed as a person since moving to NYC.
July 16th, 2018 Mr. Shuli Egar greets Brent's unveiling of a new Lamb of God tattoo with "He’s so hardcore with things. Like this band, he’s seen them one time, he went and got a tattoo."
July 17th, 2018 Brent offers to demo his heavy metal singing skills in the studio. His efforts left some laughing and Brent choking.
September 25th, 2018 Katelyn is introduced to the audience only to reveal Brent's habit of standing to wipe his ass and then leave dingle-berry shit covered things on the floor. Brent added that he would be up for sitting with Ronnie and jacking off while watching their two gals go at it.
October 17th, 2018 Brent reveals a new Joker tattoo on his forearm. I think it looks like the Joker has a hard-on coming out of the top of his pants, take a look for yourself.
January 2nd, 2019 Mr. Jason Kaplan revealed that at the Christmas party Katelyn propositioned every woman she talked to. Mr. Memet Walker stated his girlfriend was "hit on hard" by Katelyn and that he felt Brent's "hungry eyes" on him at a late-night afterparty. Later, on the Christmas break, the Hatley's traveled to New Orleans where Brent was spotted being felt up by an older woman at the bar. Brent said he told her if she came back to his place he would "fuck her hard." Mr. Steve Nowicki reported the woman exuded a strange odor and was rumored to be homeless.
January 29th, 2019 Katelyn makes her first in-studio appearance to provide an update on her breast enhancement surgery. Brent correctly identified a dildo as the last thing that had been in his and because of this he and Katelyn defeat Ronnie and Stephanie in the Newly-wet game 2-1. Katelyn thought being picky was contributing to their difficulties in finding swinging partners.
February 6th, 2019 Brent shows his cock to Mr. Richard Christy in-studio and allows Mr. Christy to work it like a puppet.
March 12th, 2019 It is announced that Brent and his wife went out with a black couple where they danced together and listened to a DJ spin music. The night ended with a super-steamy group make-out session. Mr. Shuli Egar questioned why there is never a second super-steamy make-out session and suggested that Brent is the x-factor in the Hatley's swinging failures...he creeps them out...he's the stick in the fucking wheel...he gets a stare on him where you think I am not going anywhere near this fucker, continued Mr. Egar.
March 27th Brent announced he and Katelyn were now officially full-fledged swingers. Mr. Shuli Egar claimed credit for giving them the final push they needed but continued to wonder if the story was totally true.
April 1st, 2019 Mr. Shuli Egar and Mr. Sal Governale questioned the validity of Brent's swinging stories on the HS show. Brent tells Mr. Egar to fuck off and calls him a fucker, an asshole. a dickhead, and a bald Columbo before swearing on his honor as a US Marine that his story is true and angrily storming out of the studio.
April 12th, 2019 Mr. Shuli Egar is seen at a taping of MSG's Ring of Honor Wrestling holding a “Brent’s Lying” sign.
May 21, 2019 Brent, after attending an invite-only orgy, rates his appearance on a scale of 1-10 as a 7. Mr. Shuli Egar continued to Brent's truthfulness and before storming out of the studio Brent accused Mr. Egar of being out of material.
June 18th, 2019 Brent passes out while out for unknown reasons while out with co-workers. Mr. Shuli Egar comes into the studio to say that Brent is a light-weight and just can't handle his weed consumption.
June 26th, 2019 Brent reported on his disappointment over a mermaid-themed non-orgy he and Katelyn attended over the weekend. Brent's disappointment stemmed from other attendees' interest in only having sex with their significant other while he wanted to fuck other guy's wives and be cucked himself. Brent went on to report Katelyn's disappointment over not being able to find two guys to DP her. Eventually, Brent and Katelyn had sex where Brent was unable to come but he assured us that Katelyn had.
July 16th, 2019 Brent announced he has been diagnosed with vasovagal syncope and vows to cut diet coke and ibuprofen from his diet. He refuses to cut down on his drug use.
August 4th, 2019 Brent agreed to tape him and his wife having sex. Brent brings in the tape and the staff is shocked that someone with Brent's radio experience could make such a shitty recording. Mr.JD Harmeyer reported that the air conditioner was about all you could hear.
August 5th, 2019 Brent announced his swinging is on hold. He went on to state with a straight-face that because of winter cold there is only a small window of days in the year when things happen in New York City, so that when it is "Concert Season" heavy metal shows will take priority over swinging.
August 5th, 2019 Mr. Shuli Egar told of taking Brent to a soccer game at Yankee
Stadium. Mr. Edgar and Brent appeared on TV (or the stadium's big screen) with Mr. Egar holding a sign saying "Liar" with an arrow pointing at Brent. Brent, hearing about this for the first time, called Mr. Egar a fucking asshole and a dick before storming out of the studio.
August 14th, 2019 Brent said he enjoys his wife's smell and it is not uncommon for him to ask Katelyn, "Hey, uh, can I smell your sweaty beav?" Mr. Michael Rappaport calls in and asked Brent if Brent understood how revolting it was to hear Brent discuss anything sexual and told him that it was disgusting.
September 4th, 2019 Mr. Michael Rappaport left a voicemail belittling Brent’s looks and suggesting no woman would actually be into him at a swingers club. Brent Rappaport continued, " Before dropping his rap song about Brent he continued, “He’s a fucking vile, repulsive, lipless, chinless freak."
September 9th, 2019 Brent challenges Mr. Michael Rappaport to a mixed martial arts fight. Prompted on his dislike Mr. Rappaport Brent responded, "The problem is I don’t like you like a human being, you’re a bad person, you’re every bully that I’ve ever run into in my life, and you need a good fucking ass-kicking.”
September 10th, 2019th Mr. Michael Rappaport drops his second rap about Brent.
September 11th, 2019 Brent responds with a rap song titled "Restraining Order"
September 25th, 2019 Brent proclaimed that when the Stern Show is out in L.A. next month his wife had given him the green light to hook up with any woman he wants … so long as he tells her every detail when he gets home.
a. It is announced that Brent and Katelyn have found a dude to come over to the house to fuck Katelyn while Brent is in L.A.
b. It is announced that Brent has a romantic date set for his time in L.A. His plans for the date are for a night of drinks, dancing, a beach walk and to hopefully have sex with her
October 2nd, 2019 Brent announces that he and Mr. Benjy Bronk will have a contest in L.A. to see who can get more female phone numbers in a 3 hour period. Mrs. Robin Quivers, Mr. Howard Stern, Mr. Shuli Egar, and Mr. Ralph Cirella express beliefs that Mr. Bronk will win.
October 25th, 2019 Mr. Ron Mund hypothesized that after observing Brent's swinging exploits in L.A., and him having heard about his wife's explosive experiences at home(she fucked two guys, including Mr. Jackhammer) the pressure.
of having experienced an entire swinging failure became too much for Brent to handle. Mr. Mund reported that Brent appeared to be off the rails, that he was pacing from his studio to the bathroom, then to the green room, then putting on sunglasses, then taking off sunglasses, then running back into the bathroom. Mr. Mund additionally reported that within one hour he saw Brent enter the bathroom at least 12 times. Mr. Chris Wilding and Mr. Jason Kaplan supported Mr. Mund's reports of Brent's disturbing behavior.
October 26th, 2019 Mr. Steve Nowicki attended a Halloween themed swinger party with Brent and Katelyn. Mr. Nowicki called the party very disturbing and having had never seen anything like it before. Mr. Nowicki also reported that Brent was having a hard time getting hard and that he spent the entire night "fluffing" himself. Eventually, Brent was able to get hard enough to jack off in front of Mr. Nowicki while Katelyn went down on another girl.
November 4th, 2019 Brent blows a shit fit in the studio when it is suggested that Katelyn and Mr. Johnny Jackhammer appear in the center square of Hollywood Squares. Brent's argument was based on his wife just liking to fuck random dudes and move on not that she and the random dudes she fucks, like Mr. Jackhammer, are a couple open to making appearances together.
November 5th, 2019 Brent comes into the studio and admits that swinging separately from his wife made things get out of control and he had taken it too far. Mr. Mund chimed in, "I think you opened up this door where you exposed your whole life on the air and now it’s coming back to bite you in the ass a little bit you’re like a beaten man.”
December 16th, 2019 Brent and Katelyn agree to appear on Hollyweird Squares with Mr. Jackhammer.
January 13th, 2020 Brent announced he has daily debilitating headaches...The whole left side of my head hurts...all the way through my tongue, through my shoulder, through my head … my vision gets blurry. I’ll end up puking if I don’t take something for it. Brent's NY doctor suggested these spells were due to his overconsumption of diet soda and ibuprofen along with stress.. She did not suggest to the marijuana enthusiast that his habit could be the cause of these headaches. Brent vowed to remove diet soda and ibuprofen from his life entirely. Brent revealed his blood pressure as 190/106.
March 11th, 2020 Brent announced his resignation from the Howard Stern show after a series of events including several very heated incidents involving his wife, Katelyn. In past weeks, Brent had been noticeably absent from the show after the topic of his swinging lifestyle became a focal point on the show. Concerns over Brent's recent medical issues, including but not limited to headaches and vision problems, were raised.
March 11th, 2020 Brent released a press release to promote the launch of the Brent Hatley Channel on Twitch.TV starting on April 20th, 2020. The press release promised seasonal rotating specialty shows like Yoga with Katelyn, Know It All Sports, Hinting the Beast, and many more. Also promised is random live weekend content such as concerts, tailgating, pool parties, bikini beach volleyball, and much more.
March 12th, 2020 The story of "The Pig Farm Killer" is told during the premiere episode of “Hunting The Beast” on Brent's Twitch channel.
April 23rd, 2020 Brent received his first Twitch ban and tweeted, "Because a pussy complained about our show, we’ve been suspended for 3 days."
May 16th, 2020 Katelyn debuts on Cameo.
Jul 1st, 2020 Brent first promotes Katelyn's Onlyfans on Twitter.
September 22nd, 2020 on his Twitch show Brent discusses the Snowflakes, Karens & Jimmy McSallys infecting America, who do nothing in life but complain and report others because they’re offended. (This most likely is around the time of his second Twitch suspension)
November 8th, 2020 Brent appeared on the u/bradstraubinger podcast to discuss his exit from The Stern Show.
December 30th, 2020 Brent's Twitch channel is removed from the service. Rumors of a third suspension, possibly permanent, but Brent's channel eventually returns.

This year I went to see 192 different movies in theaters, plus one rewatch. That's up from 162 in 2018, 140 in 2017, 9 in 2016, and 5 in 2015. I usually go 3 or 4 times per week, mostly on weekends. I keep track of dates/theaters/movies/ratings for fun and save all of the stubs.
My ratings are what I give the movie right after seeing it, with no real 'checklist' or anything, mostly just initial thought/enjoyment/opinion. It's not meant to be taken super seriously, I'm not a professional reviewer.
This is my full ranking for the year, from favorite to least-favorite, with a few small reviews/thoughts thrown in:
Monos - 10/10 - Hands-down my favorite movie of the year and honestly high on my all-time list. It's Apocalypse Now meets Lord of the Flies, with some Beasts of No Nation thrown in. It builds a unique, lived-in world that's believable and brutal. Beautifully-filmed, some of the best shots of the year (the ending shot gets seared in your mind). Modern and grounded look at a militia/cartel fighting against an unnamed enemy in a Colombian jungle. It almost feels post-apocalyptic instead of 'cartel vs government', which I really loved. You get to imagine your own backstory as the story unfolds. Unforgiving and gut-wrenching, but hopeful too. Got a lot out of its cast. Can't recommend this movie enough. Really disappointed this didn't make the Best Foreign Language Film shortlist. "Masterpiece" gets thrown around a lot, but in my mind this is the only one this year.
Marriage Story - 10/10
The Farewell - 10/10
Journey to a Mother's Room - 9/10 - Biggest surprise of the year, came out of nowhere. Deeply-personal story between a mother & daughter. It's very basic on the surface, and there's not much story (you start at Point A, and end at Point A), but it's the most emotional movie of the year. If you don't cry at least 3 times during this, you're probably not human. It's all about the unbreakable connection you have to your parent(s), from the day you're born until the day you die. It only takes place over the course of a few months, but feels like lifetimes. Beautiful little movie about separation, loss, and human connection.
Waves - 9/10 - I could write 20 pages on how much I loved this movie. To keep it short, it's got a perfect soundtrack, perfect setting, awards-worthy performances (from Kelvin Harrison Jr., Sterling K. Brown, and Taylor Russell). Visceral story that grips you from the first minute and doesn't let go until the closing shot. Unique use of colors and aspect-ratio. It takes a huge risk structurally that pays off. It's also the only movie I went to see twice this year. Really worth it too, picked up on a lot of stuff on the second viewing. Would've went a third time if theaters kept it playing longer. Every tiny decision/action has a huge impact. Just watch this.
Last Black Man In San Francisco - 9/10
Birds of Passage - 9/10
Apollo 11 - 9/10 - The best documentary of the year. Probably the best editing (and use of sound) I've ever seen/heard in a documentary. It's unique because they don't use interviews like most documentaries do, it's real sound the whole through. Impressive use of archival footage/audio.
Uncut Gems - 9/10 - This movie wasn't on the Best Original Score shortlist for the 2020 Oscars. This aggression will not stand.
The Mustang - 9/10
Wild Rose - 9/10 - If this doesn't win the Oscar for Best Original Song ('Glasgow'), I've lost all faith in the Academy. The ending concert scene had me crying like a baby. Jessie Buckley is gonna be big. Best music-drama since A Star Is Born.
Transit - 9/10
Ad Astra - 9/10 - Top-notch acting, great atmosphere, world-building, existentialism, beautiful VFX, engaging score. Best opening scene of the year. Thoughtful commentary on modern society all wrapped in a Heart of Darkness blanket. If you're into space/exploration movies, then I recommend this. Surprised at the backlash this movie has gotten on /movies.
The Report - 9/10 - This was a really good year for legal-thrillers and The Report was the cream of the crop. Tight, Sorkin-like script with top performances from Adam Driver & Annette Bening. Could change a lot of minds about the war on terror and use of torture.
Parasite - 9/10
Once Upon A Time In Hollywood - 9/10
Midnight Traveler - 9/10 - If you feel like life is unfair and the odds are stacked against you, watch this movie. It puts everything in a different perspective. Every problem you have is going to seem minuscule compared to what this family went through. It's eye-opening and should fill you with anger.
Luce - 9/10 - It's Kelvin Harrison Jr's world and we're just living in it.
The Irishman - 8/10
Mickey and the Bear - 8/10 - Camila Morrone puts in the best breakout performance of the year. PTSD, drug-addiction, alcoholism, rural Montana, toxic relationships, James Badge Dale, following your dreams. What's not to love?
The Art of Self Defense - 8/10 - The best dark-comedy of the year. So many great one liners. It's like Yorgos Lanthimos directing Death of Stalin, set in a karate studio. Surprisingly violent and depressing, but in all the right ways. Jesse Eisenberg's best movie since.....The Social Network?
Peanut Butter Falcon - 8/10 - "Am I going to die?" "We all do, it's only a matter of time, now stop being a little bitch." - Favorite line of the year, really stuck with me.
Everybody Knows - 8/10
Mary Magdalene - 8/10
Knives Out - 8/10 - Well-crafted whoddunit with an ensemble cast. Just a genuinely fun time at the movies. Ana de Armas with well-deserved leading role for once. A few of the characters are a tad bit unrealistic (and basically caricatures), but the movie doesn't take itself seriously enough for that to be a problem. Daniel Craig hamming it up with a Southern accent was fun. Old school film with a modern twist.
The Lighthouse - 8/10
The Dead Don't Die - 8/10 - This movie really isn't for everyone, but I loved the dry humor and purposefully-bad chemistry/dialogue. The line delivery was off-putting but hilarious. Everything is extremely on-the-nose and it works. I could watch 10 hours of Tom Waits talking to himself.
Us - 8/10
Villains - 8/10
Ford v Ferrari - 8/10
Midsommar - 8/10
Jojo Rabbit - 8/10
Official Secrets - 8/10 - Keira Knightley with one of the most underrated performances of the year. Another really good legal/political-thriller that exposes the dark side of government bureaucracy.
Pain & Glory - 8/10
John Wick 3: Parabellum - 8/10
Queen & Slim - 8/10
Amazing Grace - 8/10 - Great concert-documentary. Some of Aretha Franklin's performances in this should give you insane chills. I actually had this one rated higher right after watching it, but then looked up some of the people shown on screen and it turns out some were real pieces of shit, while preaching to people like hypocrits. Felt gross and took a lot of the magic out. One of my few revised scores this year.
A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood - 8/10
Joker - 8/10
Non-Fiction - 8/10 - It's very French (talky and sexual) and the writing seems impressed with itself, but it's a good adult-drama that surprised me. I'm a big fan of Olivier Assayas and this is some of his best work.
Rocketman - 8/10
Stan & Ollie - 8/10
Hustlers - 8/10
Avengers Endgame - 8/10
Doctor Sleep - 8/10 - It gets bloated and probably needed to be 20-30 minutes shorter (there's a shit ton of side-characters), but it was a worthwhile sequel to The Shining. Didn't feel like a cash grab and carries its own weight.
Booksmart - 8/10
Little Monsters - 8/10 - I'd recommend watching this based just on Josh Gad's character. So over-the-top and hilarious. When he starts chugging hand sanitizer might be the most I laughed in a theater this year. Also Lupita Nyong'o playing & singing on the ukulele to a bunch of kids is exactly what I needed in my life. Cute zombie-comedy with a ton of heart.
Spider-Man: Far From Home - 8/10
A Hidden Life - 8/10 - If there's a song from this year (or this decade even) that I'd want played at my funeral, it's James Newton Howard's theme from this movie. It's so beautiful and perfectly captures the feel of the movie. That song broke me down every time it played. I can't imagine this movie without it, it's that good. It's a shame this movie is getting ignored this awards season.
Never Look Away - 8/10
Toy Story 4 - 8/10
Pavarotti - 8/10
The Biggest Little Farm - 8/10- If you're really into the inner-workings of a Californian farm, then this is the documentary for you.
Abominable - 8/10
The Current War - 7/10
Artic - 7/10 - Well made, solidly-acted. I loved the small details about survival that this movie brings up, makes it very grounded and realistic. I'm kinda bored of survival movies in general so this didn't blow my mind or anything.
Bombshell - 7/10
Honey Boy - 7/10 - Pretty big letdown because I had really high expectations for this one. Lacked the emotional punch I hoped for. Didn't land for me at all, kind of like Boy Erased last year. I appreciate how honest and revealing it was, took a lot of guts for Shia LaBeouf to put this out there but it's forgettable. Lucas Hedges' Shia impression was reallllly on point though, that was worth the price of admission right there. Mid90s last year was a 10/10 for me and I expected the same for this. It was good, not great.
American Woman - 7/10 - Sienna Miller's performance in this is awards-worthy. The accent she does is perfect and it might be the most underrated role of the year. The movie gets way too tearjerky at the end though. It's basically 2 hours of bad shit happening to a good person, which gets a bit overwhelming.
The Beach Bum - 7/10
Captain Marvel - 7/10
Spies In Disguise - 7/10 - Looked pretty generic based on the trailer, but was actually pretty funny.
Cold Pursuit - 7/10
Tolkien - 7/10 - Not much happens but it felt really comfortable. Solid performances all around and they handled the WW1 scenes better than I thought they would. Expected to be bored out of my mind based on the reviews and trailer but it flowed well. As far as "Nicholas Hoult Biopics of Famous Writers" go, it's miles ahead of Rebel in the Rye 2 years ago.
Jumanji: The Next Level - 7/10
Sauvage/Wild - 7/10
Detective Pikachu - 7/10
Maiden - 7/10
Dark Waters - 7/10 - . Good performances and an okay script, even though it beats you over the head sometimes. Total waste of Anne Hathaway. She's way too good of an actress for a boring, generic, 'supporting wife' role with just a few lines. Not even sure why she was in this. Overall, a solid legal-thriller, which is a genre I really enjoy and I've been missing since its late-90s heyday. Pretty crazy story too, scummy and evil corporate greed is always interesting to explore on film (like The Insider). Should've been 20 minutes shorter and less on-the-nose
Adopt A Highway - 7/10
The Wedding Guest - 7/10
The Hummingbird Project - 7/10
Motherless Brooklyn - 7/10
The Lion King - 7/10
Last Christmas - 7/10 - It's really easy to bash this movie, a lot of the humor falls flat and the twist is ridiculous, but I couldn't help walking out with a smile. I love how committed Emilia Clarke was to the character, and her interactions with her boss and family were legitimately heart-warming at times. Also did I mention how ridiculous that twist is?
Richard Jewell - 7/10 - This was decent. Even though it's clearly Clint Eastwood's personal crusade (and thinly-veiled propaganda piece in some regards) against the FBI & the Spooky Media™, it still told the story effectively/semi-believably. Some of the characters (Hamm/Wilde obviously) were pretty ridiculous caricatures though, was hard to take anything they said seriously, I mean come on. You just roll your eyes at most of what they say. Some of the situations and encounters are too-conveniently set-up but that's easy to overlook. It had very solid performances (Hauser was great, especially when he finally let's his emotion show, in that scene where he kicks the table). Much better than The Mule, and 20x better than 15:17 To Paris.
Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker - 7/10
21 Bridges - 7/10
Before You Know It - 7/10
Hobbs & Shaw - 7/10 - This is peak "Stupid Summer Popcorn Movie" and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's The Meg of 2019.
Fighting With My Family - 7/10
Pet Sematary - 7/10
Downton Abbey - 7/10 - Never saw a single episode of the show before watching the movie, but it still felt familiasafe to jump right in.
Yesterday - 7/10
Greta - 7/10 - It's a cheesy, predictable, non-scary horror film but I liked it. Sometimes you just need Isabelle Hupert to play a psychopathic serial killer. Felt very old-school, a movie straight out of the 1980s.
Judy - 7/10 - It's the definition of Oscar bait and is emotionally manipulative, especially towards the end, but it does a great job at humanizing a Hollywood legend.
Frozen 2 - 7/10
Aladdin - 7/10
The Souvenir - 7/10
Zombieland 2: Double Tap - 7/10 - Nowhere near as memorable/iconic as the first one, but it still got a bunch of laughs from me (especially the Thomas Middleditch/Luke Wilson scene). Above-average for a comedy-sequel, but I could see this one not aging well.
The Two Popes - 6/10 - Two solid performances but underwhelming overall, too many cheap-looking flashback scenes, not enough Pryce/Hopkins. Reminded me of Can You Ever Forgive Me? last year, depending on the 2 leads to carry a weak movie/premise on their back, to disappointing results. Highly-overrated movie.
Ready Or Not - 6/10
Anna - 6/10 - It's basically Red Sparrow but slightly worse.
Saint Frances - 6/10
Hotel Mumbai - 6/10
Shazam! - 6/10 - Low-stakes, formulaic, superhero movie clearly made with strict budget limitations. It hits all the notes you'd expect a movie like this to hit. It was decent.
Alita: Battle Angel - 6/10
Loro - 6/10 - One of the more disappointing movies of the year. On paper it sounds amazing, a sprawling biopic of an infamous/corrupt Italian politician/mogul by Paolo Sorrentino who's not that far removed from a masterpiece? Sign me the fuck up. But nah, this was a shallow, surface-level (like my reviews), pointless dull knife of a biopic. Too much shoehorned religious imagery too. Tone is all over the place. It can't decide whether it's serious or funny and gets lost in-between. It looked nice at least. It also wins this year's "Most Nudity" award, easily beating the rest of the field.
Teen Spirit - 6/10
The Upside - 6/10
Gloria Bell - 6/10 - Great performance from Julianne Moore but this just felt like "Middle-Aged Crisis: The Movie". Just couldn't connect to it. I imagine the original is a lot better.
On The Basis Of Sex - 6/10
Stockholm - 6/10
Give Me Liberty - 6/10 - This is an example of a movie that has its heart in the right place but bites off a lot more than it can chew. There's a beautiful, emotional story in here somewhere, but it's too muddled with ineffective editing tricks and too many side-stories. It's sweet in some ways and the true-life characters bring a lot of charm, but it didn't do that much for me. A lot of 'year-end' lists have this as one of the most overlooked movies of the year, but I don't see it. Rough editing, bad soundtrack.
Child's Play - 6/10
Good Boys - 6/10 - Just watch Booksmart instead.
Styx - 6/10
Woman at War - 6/10
The Lego Movie 2 - 6/10
Missing Link - 6/10
Long Shot - 6/10 - The chemistry between Charlize Theron & Seth Rogen was great but the jokes couldn't really match it. It's a unique mix of politics & humor, but fell short of being an actual crowd-pleaser.
Echo in the Canyon - 6/10
Cyrano, My Love - 6/10
Dora the Explorer - 6/10
Brittany Runs A Marathon - 6/10
IT: Chapter 2 - 6/10 - Way too long. Felt like a never-ending series of fetch-quests. Good CGI & acting though.
Mister America - 6/10
Crawl - 6/10
Trial By Fire - 6/10 - Great performances by Laura Dern & Jack O'Connell get overshadowed by an overly-preacy script. It doesn't let the audience make up its own mind.
The Third Wife - 6/10
Godzilla: King of Monsters - 5/10 - This needed less humans, more monsters.
Glass - 5/10
Escape Room - 5/10
Terminator: Dark Fate - 5/10
Dumbo - 5/10
All Is True - 5/10
Brightburn - 5/10
The White Crow - 5/10 - One of those biopics where the movie doesn't do justice to the story. Reading the Wikipedia page on this guy's life, you'd except an Oscar contender. Instead it was just okay. Watch Cold War instead. It's basically this movie but better.
High Life - 5/10 - Unpleasant.
Where'd You Go Bernadette? - 5/10
Scary Stories to Tell Dark - 5/10
Her Smell - 5/10 - This movie made me physically nauseous. The tight, claustrophobic, haze-filled shots in the first 2 acts really threw me off. It's temporarily redeemed by a reallllllly good third act and a solid performance from Elisabeth Moss. But then deflated by a terrible final scene.
By the Grace of God - 5/10 - Based on the critical acclaim, director, and subject matter, I walked in expected to be blown away. Basically expected Spotlight, but this movie completely derails at the halfway point. Hard to sit through.
Blinded by the Light - 5/10
The Best of Enemies - 5/10
The Aeronauts - 5/10 - This is mis-marketed as an intense survival story but it's really just a boring biopic with too many flashbacks.
Fall of the American Empire - 5/10
Family - 5/10
The Goldfinch - 5/10 - It turns out an unfilmable novel really is unfilmbable, who would've thought? Shoutout to Jeffrey Wright & Finn Wolfhard for actually trying.
Angel Has Fallen - 5/10
Gemini Man - 5/10
Late Night - 5/10
Black and Blue - 5/10
Diane - 5/10 - This was just depression-porn. Sometimes it works (Mungiu/Zvyagintsev), sometimes it doesn't (this movie). It's such a bummer. Wouldn't recommend this to anyone but Mary Kay Place's performance makes it watchable and engaging sometimes.
Destroyer - 5/10
How To Train Your Dragon 3 - 5/10
Rafiki - 5/10 - I feel bad for this score because I get that this is a really important/significant movie for African Cinema, but I just couldn't get past the terrible acting, bad (like baaaaaad) dialogue, and lackluster story. Again, pretty big achievement that this got made and reached a global audience, but yeah, in a vacuum, it's undoubtedly a bad movie. Felt like an amateur movie on a shoestring budget.
Captive State - 4/10
Wild Nights With Emily - 4/10 - This movie is what happens when someone asks the question "hey, what if we turned Emily Dickinson's life into an SNL skit?". I get what they were going for, and Molly Shannon is great, but this was extremely unfunny and probably the longest 84-minute movie I've ever seen.
Dark Pheonix - 4/10
The Addams Family - 4/10
Midway - 4/10
To Dust - 4/10
Rojo - 4/10 - The only memorable thing about this movie is that there was a power outage about 90 minutes in so they comped my ticket and gave me a free drink. So that was cool, I guess.
The Kid Who Would Be King - 4/10
MIB: International - 4/10
The Kid - 4/10 - There's a 98% chance that this movie is some kind of tax write-off or money laundering scheme. It somehow got 2 big names (Pratt & Hawke), co-starring the son of the producer in his first movie ever. Directed by Vincent D'Onofrio for some reason (???). Was dumped by Lionsgate in a few hundred theaters with 0 marketing/promotion, and flopped hard. It's dated, boring, and unoriginal. Cheesy dialogue. Literally a story that's been told a million times before, usually in much better ways. No reason for this to exist. Chris Pratt has the worst fake-movie-beard of all time in this, that's kinda worth checking out.
Ramen Shop - 4/10
The Good Liar - 4/10- The most convoluted, needlessly-complicated plot of the year. Helen Mirren & Ian McKellen both phone it in (I don't blame them, they were given trash to work with). I hate when movies try to crowbar "WW2 flashbacks" into their movies when it's not needed.
Climax - 4/10
Harriet - 4/10
Lucy in the Sky - 4/10 - Once or twice a year, a movie comes along that has such a frustrating/stupid/anti-climactic ending it makes me actually angry. This is that movie. Natalie Portman had another movie like that last year (Vox Lux). Hey Noah Hawley, what the fuck?
Freaks - 4/10 - This movie would fit well in the "Good Idea But Bad Execution" subreddit.
Tel Aviv On Fire - 4/10
Ma - 4/10
Frankie - 3/10
Stuber - 3/10
Serenity - 3/10 - In a year full of batshit-crazy twists (looking at you, Last Christmas), this easily had the batshit-iest twist. It's something you actually have to experience yourself, and be fully-immersed in it, to appreciate how mind-numblingly crazy it is. How they got A-list talent for this script is a total mystery, but it probably involves of a lot of favors and cocaine. It's almost "so bad its good". Almost. I can't wait for the sequel, Free Guy, next year.
Maleficent 2: Mistress of Evil - 3/10 - More genocide than I expected for a live-action Disney fairy tale movie.
Donnybrook - 3/10
The Photograph - 3/10 - Zzzzzzzzzz...
Charlie's Angels - 3/10
Hellboy - 3/10 - This movie is like that annoying kid in middle school that tries way to hard to be edgy. It's gory and vulgar just for the sake of being gory & vulgar. It reminded me of the Predator reboot last year, had the same kind of dated/forced humor that seems to have no real target audience (except for the aforementioned middle school edgy kid I guess). Bad CGI and a boring villain. iirc it also had a lame sequel-bait ending which I hate.
Happy Death Day 2U - 3/10 -
The Sun Is Also A Star - 3/10 - It's filmed like a generic music video and has the emotional depth of a puddle.
Don't Let Go - 3/10
The Invisibles - 3/10
Playing with Fire - 3/10 - This was just like Mark Wahlberg's Instant Family last year, except that it was worse in every imaginable way. No lie, the end-credits bloopers were by far better than anything else in the movie. It was the only time I even chuckled or felt any type of emotion.
Cats - 2/10 - There's not much more I could say that already hasn't been said. Yes, it was bad. No, it wasn't the worst movie in history. For me, it was just so boring. Forgettable songs (except Beautiful Ghosts), no story/plot, nonsensical ending. Just wanted it to end. Jennifer Hudson just floating into space for no reason, Judi Dench giving me unwarranted lessons about raising cats, Ian McKellen slurping milk from a bowl, Extremely-Hairy-And-Naked-Idris-Elba, Cockroach Genocide, etc. These things all happened and we can't change them, and for us to grow as a society, we need to just move on and learn from our mistakes.
Rambo: Last Blood - 2/10
The Sound of Silence - 2/10 - More like The Sound of Boredom, amirite? No but seriously, that's all I got. This movie was the closest I got to falling asleep in my seat this year.
Synonyms - 2/10
Black Christmas - 2/10 - Extremely cheesy dialogue, cop-out violence, boring/predictable jump scares, low production value (bad even for a low-end Blumhouse movie), some of the worst one-liners you've ever heard, unrealistic/2D characters. Shitty ending. Wayyyyy too heavy-handed with the message. About as subtle as a flying brick to the forehead. Amateur acting, cutaway for every death, etc etc.
After the Wedding - 2/10 - Overacted, muddled garbage.
47 Meters Down Uncaged - 1/10
Shaft - 1/10 - Crude, unfunny, soulless, grating, pointless. There's a million adjectives I could use to describe this reboot, and none of them are positive. This is one I'm surprised I didn't just walk out of. Probably didn't have anything better do do that day.
Jexi - 1/10 - This year's worst movie. It's just the kind of movie that leaves a bad taste in your mouth, like you need to watch something else to get the stink of this one out of your mind. It was just so mean-spirited, from start to finish. Not a single joke landed, you just hated all of the characters. There are no redeeming factors. On the technical side, it was very basic, looked like a cheap music video. No memorable scenes, no good lines of dialogue, no originality in any way. None of the "cheerful"/"pick-me-up" moments earn any kind of emotional reaction. If you had a freshman high-school film student remake Her as a shitty comedy, this would be it. The fact that I paid money to see this is something I will never live down.
Movies that I saw outside of theaters, not included in the list:

• The King - 8/10 - Netflix
• Paddleton - 8/10 - Netflix
• El Camino: A Breaking Bad Story - 8/10 - Netflix
• High Flying Bird - 7/10 - Netflix
• Dolemite Is My Name - 7/10 - Netflix
• Triple Frontier - 6/10 - Netflix
• The Boy Who Harnessed Wind - 6/10 - Netflix
• The Laundromat - 5/10 - Netflix
• The Highwaymen - 5/10 - Netflix
• Velvet Buzzsaw - 4/10 - Netflix
• Bird Box - 4/10 - Netflix
• Six Underground - 2/10 - Netflix

Movies that I saw in theaters in 2019, but are not included in the list due to original release date:

• If Beale Street Could Talk - 9/10
• Cold War - 9/10
• Capernaum - 9/10
• Mary Poppins Returns - 7/10
• The Charmer - 6/10

Movies that I haven't seen yet but will see in the next few weeks:

• Little Women
• 1917
• In Fabric
• Tremors
• Just Mercy
• Midnight Family
• A Million Little Pieces
• The Earthquake Bird
• American Son
• Portrait of A Lady On Fire
• Clemency
• Beanpole
• The Kingmaker
• The Song of Names

Here is the distribution of theater visits by day of the week:
https://i.imgur.com/aIlGc6d.jpg
Throughout the year, I've gone to 13 different theaters. 9 at major chains, and 4 at indie theaters. Here's the distribution of visits by theater:
https://i.imgur.com/MuGEcEp.png
Here is the distribution of theater visits by month:
https://i.imgur.com/DhTqpeB.jpg
Other:

• The longest stretch I went without going to the movies was from July 21st thru August 20th, without a single trip to the movies. Partially due to an out-of-country trip and personal stuff. During this time I "missed out" on The Kitchen, The Nightingale, Brian Banks, and Honeyland. Mostly caught up to the rest.
• The most theater visits in a one-week span was November 1st thru November 8th, with 8 movies that week.
• The most in one day was 3 movies in theaters on March 15th, 2019 (Styx, To Dust, and Captive State).
• There were 26 double-headers this year (two movies in theaters during the same day, usually back-to-back).

Solid year, not as many surprises as 2018 though. Going to try to break 200 in 2020.
Here is last year's ranking:
https://www.reddit.com/movies/comments/aavyri_saw_162_movies_in_theaters_in_2018_here_is_my/

After a very successful first full NBA slate on 12/23, we are back for all the money on Christmas Day. A true NBA tradition, every one of these matchups has high-profile players in them; this not only translates to some interesting lineup builds on both DraftKings and FanDuel, but it also makes the combination of ‘Stars ‘n Scrubs’ all that more attractive. Although it is to a lesser extent than both opening day and the 12/23 slate because we are not on either extreme of a 2-game slate or a 13-game slate, we must still plant our flag somewhere in order to reach the top of the leaderboards – on opening day, it was a condensed player pool, whereas the 12/23 slate was all about identifying which of the 13 games we wanted exposure to. Thus, I will be identifying which players can be in the optimal lineup for both sites and crossing many off my list – if you have any questions, feel free to tag me in Discord, but I will say this, players are not mentioned for a reason.
Before running to the DraftKings, FanDuel, or Yahoo lobby to construct your NBA DFS lineups after reading this article, please make sure to utilize the abundance of tools we have at Win Daily:

• Proprietary Projection Model
• Cheat Sheet
• Articles of the Day

Point Guards
Luka Doncic ($11,400 FD / $10,000 DK)
I mentioned him in my write-up for last slate and how he was a focal point for our NBA cash lineups. Despite not putting up a ridiculous amount of points, he proved to be a necessity because he was over 80% owned in all cash contests – with 50% of the field getting paid out, you need to roster these extremely high-owned players (we call them chalk for future reference) because if they go nuclear and you did not roster them, you are dead in the water. I had also mentioned that Luka sees an uptick in usage with Porzingis off the floor, increasing from 36.8% to nearly 40% — and that’s exactly what happened. Doncic dropped an efficient 32/8/5 without a single 3-pointer and saw a 39.7% usage rate in 36 minutes. Playing against someone that just signed him to a shoe deal, one his idols, and on Christmas Day has all the narrative – and analytics to back it up – that we need to play Luka in this matchup, but with other studs being the priority for me, he’ll make one of my 3-max lines but I will be slightly underweight compared to the field in my 150-max. Luka. LeBron. Primetime. Christmas Day. You do in fact, love to see it.
Kyrie Irving ($8,900 FD / $8,500 DK)
You wanted a Luka vs LeBron narrative? Check. How about a Kyrie back to Boston narrative? Also, check. The shiftiest man in the NBA was back to his old ways in Steve Nash’s new-look Brooklyn offense and was putting defenders on ice in his season debut. Facing Marcus Smart in this one is no cakewalk, but Kyrie has been victorious in this matchup before from his days in Cleveland, averaging 22.7/2.9/5.6 across 33.4 minutes in 7 matchups versus Smart. Still underpriced on both sites, this game has all the appeal we need to get our star power from it: with the second-highest oveunder on the slate at 229.5, Brooklyn’s pace in their season debut will force Boston’s hand in choosing to double only one of Kyrie and KD – lock at least one in your lineups with confidence.
Steph Curry ($8,700 FD / $10,200 DK)
Was it a disappointing season opener for the Warriors? Yes, absolutely; they looked lost on defense without Draymond Green in the lineup, Steph got no help with lackluster play from Andrew Wiggins, and this Brooklyn Nets (-3)
Wager $10 on BRK📷To Beat BOS:$16.59Win by 3:$19.21To Lose:$23.00 offense may be even scarier than we anticipated in the offseason. Nonetheless, this +10.5 spread is disrespectful to the greatest shooter of all time and his Warriors. With Pat Connaughton and Bobby Portis being the first to come off the bench for the Bucks, the Warriors will not have to deal with the likes of Caris LeVert and Jarrett Allen in this one like they did on opening day and will be able to keep it close. Milwaukee struggles from deep, giving up the most 3pm in the 2019-2020 NBA season with 1,020, good for 13.97 per game. Yeah, they give up a ton, oh, and Curry isn’t too bad of a 3-point shooter.
Jrue Holiday ($7,000 FD / $7,500 DK)
If you’re not playing Giannis Antetokounmpo in your lineup but are playing Steph Curry, I highly recommend getting one of Jrue Holiday or Khris Middleton. With Steph almost guaranteed to carry the Warriors offense on any given night, someone needs to keep pace with the 2-time NBA MVP and 3-time NBA Champion. Enter the prized offseason acquisition, Jrue Holiday. Coming off an inspiring debut with his new team, Jrue shot an efficient 10/16 from the floor en route to 25/6/3 in 38 minutes – 38 minutes! Not many players will see as much action as Jrue on the entire slate, and that alone makes him worthy to be in our NBA lineups.
Jeff Teague ($5,800 FD / $4,200 DK)
The projection model had him as the fourth-best value on a slate with 300+ players, so I cannot wait to see what it gives us for Jeff Teague tomorrow. He’s a stone cold lock for me on DK tomorrow and makes for an interesting pivot on FD to the chalkier options in the premium price range above him. With Brooklyn really pushing the pace, I’m not expecting many rotations where Brad Stevens runs both Daniel Theis and Tristan Thompson on the floor at the same time, rather, he’ll stagger the two to counter the 1-2 punch of Jordan and Allen at the center position for the Nets. Enter Teague, who will be a primary benefactor of an up-pace matchup with Kemba Walker sidelined once again.
Shooting Guards
Paul George ($7,600 FD / $8,700 DK)
I’ll be severely underweight yet again on DK with him being priced with the likes of Kyrie Irving, but his position eligibility on FD makes him an interesting target, especially if you’re not playing Kawhi Leonard. This could be a chance for Paul George to redeem himself from their playoff exit versus these same Denver Nuggets (+2.5)
Wager $10 on DEN📷To Beat LAC:$21.81Lose by less than 2.5:$18.97To Lose:$17.16, but PG will certainly be in tough versus the likes of Will Barton on the wing – if he can switch onto MPJ and Gary Harris all game long, look out for another great performance from PG13.
Khris Middleton ($7,400 FD / $7,400 DK)
Similarly to what I said above with regards to Jrue Holiday, if you’re playing Steph Curry and not playing Giannis, you need to consider Middleton to be your main runback. With Golden State being smaller than most teams up the middle in a similar fashion to Boston, Middleton may not duplicate his 14-rebound performance from opening night, but he can certainly reach double digits. Add in the fact that he looked good distributing the ball and scoring on 50% of his field goals, Middleton has sneaky upside amongst the mid-range targets.
Eric Bledsoe ($5,600 FD / $5,600 DK)
At a mere $5,600 on both sites, Eric Bledsoe is trending to be one of my favorite targets tomorrow before running the projections. Starting alongside Lonzo Ball, Bledsoe saw a whopping 34 minutes of action in his Pelicans debut, second to only Brandon Ingram. With Jimmy Butler being preoccupied with both Ingram and Zion, look for Bledsoe to shoulder another heavy workload in the first game of the NBA slate.
Dennis Schroder ($5,000 FD / $6,300 DK)
Dropping a near triple-double in his Lakers debut, Dennis Schroder is severely unpriced on FD and still affordable on DK. While I am not anticipating a duplicate performance because of LeBron and AD having much better games this time around, Schroder’s ability to log heavy minutes and act as a secondary scorer whenever James or Davis leave the floor has him a part of my player pool.
Donte DiVincenzo ($4,500 FD / $4,700 DK)
He won’t wow you with anything other than his scoring ability, but DiVi has strong upside on this NBA slate because of the number of minutes he will log compared to that of other value plays. With Milwaukee playing the entire starting unit 27 or more minutes considering how shallow their bench is, he makes for a premier option on a slate where we’re starving for value to jam in the studs.
📷
Small Forwards
LeBron James ($11,000 FD / $10,000 DK)
Is there much of an explanation as to why we should be considering LeBron James on Christmas Day? This will be Bron’s 15th Christmas Day game, where he currently averages 25.8/7.7/6.9 across 38.3 minutes of action. While both he and AD looked sluggish on opening day, this is a premier bounce back spot with how vulnerable Dallas is on defense without KP in the lineup.
Kawhi Leonard ($9,500 FD / $9,800 DK)
He’s likely going to be the lowest owned stud on the slate, and it’s not because he’s not in a good spot, but rather that others are simply in better ones. By no means do I like to target Denver’s defense, so I will be underweight in my MME pool and he will not make my single entry builds, but should the Nuggets continue to start MPJ on the wing, look for Kawhi to walk all over him on the offensive end of the ball and surprise people on this slate.
Jaylen Brown ($7,500 FD / $7,000 DK)
After a breakout campaign last season, JB started the new season off strong by dropping 33/5/3 across 37 minutes versus the Bucks in a 122-121 victory. With the Brooklyn Nets playing an up-pace, high-tempo type of game, both JB and Tatum are in an environment to thrive in this matchup, especially JB with Durant likely guarding Tatum for the majority of the game. With Jeff Teague being the calming influence on the offensive end, I’m expecting Brown’s volume and efficiency to propel the Celtics to be competitive in this one.
Brandon Ingram ($7,300 FD / $8,300 DK)
Coming off an impressive season that ended with a Most Improved Player award, BI was at it again in the Pelicans debut and scorched the Raptors for 24 points on 10/19 shooting to go along with 9 rebounds and 11 assists. He’ll be in tough if Jimmy Butler lines up on him more often than Zion, but if not, he’ll walk all over anyone else that draws this matchup.
Others to Consider

• Caris LeVert ($5,800 FD – won’t play him on DK)
• Will Barton ($5,200 FD / $6,300 DK)
• Tyler Herro ($5,000 FD / $5,600 DK)
• Joe Harris ($4,300 FD / $5,300 DK)
• Nic Batum ($3,500 FD / $4,500 DK)

Power Forwards
Giannis Antetokounmpo ($11,600 FD / $10,900 DK)
The back-to-back MVP infamously missed a free throw to send their opening game versus the Celtics to overtime, but just the fact that he led the charge in overcoming a 14-point, 4th quarter deficit shows just how good he is. Nobody will be able to guard him in this matchup and with the Warriors lack of interior defense, Giannis is pricey, but worth it given his potential to put up 70+ should the Warriors keep this one close.
Anthony Davis ($10,600 FD / $10,300 DK)
Sure, he did look awfully inefficient in their debut, but with Dwight Powell and Maxi Kleber slated to guard Anthony Davis, he can bounce back in a huge fashion that you will not want to miss out on. Dallas quietly had one of, if not the best offense in the entire NBA last season and really pushed the pace, slotting in as the third-fastest team in the league, which will bode well for AD in transition. Look for him to stuff the sheet on both ends of the court.
Jayson Tatum ($9,800 FD / $9,300 DK)
Another pay up option on FD, you can see where I am going with the PF position over there – DO NOT pay down whatsoever. Tatum is one of four players I am considering at the position and is truly blossoming into a franchise cornerstone. His defensive ability has been on display since his days at Duke, but with Tatum now dropping stat lines such as the 30/7/2 he did on opening day, his price tag is well deserved in this pace up spot versus KD and company.
Kevin Durant ($8,500 FD / $9,400 DK)
He’s criminally underpriced on FD and needs to be in all of your lineups there. On DK, KD is expensive but benefits from a shallow PF position and showed that he is back from his achilles injury in full force. The 7-footer looked smooth as ever in their opening day thrashing of his former team and will be a cog to the Nets offense all season long.
Centers
Nikola Jokic ($9,700 FD / $10,100 DK)
No safer option at the center position than The Joker and he will STILL go overlooked with Montrezl Harrell garnering most of the ownership. Why? I’m not sure – Joker just dropped 29/14/15 like it was nobody’s business and is a true force to be reckoned with on both ends of the court. Yes, he was mentioned in the 12/23 article for GPPs so I hope you got your exposure, but if you did not, do not make the same mistake twice.
Montrezl Harrell ($5,100 FD / $6,000 DK)
Why he is the chalkiest option at the position, I truly cannot tell you. I said it a million times on 12/23 to NOT play him with AD because if one goes off, the other one; the other day, AD struggled, and Harrell got more run than he typically will. With AD having the softer of matchups here versus Powell/Kleber instead of Ibaka like the other day, I’ll be fine with this in cash but a hard pass in GPPs.
Deandre Jordan ($4,500 FD / $5,600 DK)
The projection model loved Jordan the other day, and he truly came through with 23 fantasy points in only 17 minutes of action, good for 1.35 FPPM. Anticipate him to get more run here with the Celtics keeping this one much closer than the Warriors did and having true centers for him to match up with in Daniel Theis and Tristan Thompson.
Value Gems: Check the projection model here
I’ve said this twice now, but I simply cannot stress it enough: remember to review the NBA projection model and NBA cheat sheet for a further player pool and to ease a decision between two players, in addition to finding additional value plays.
You can find me on Twitter @DFS_Ghost

Previous "Miscellaneous tidbits" posts:

Part 1

Part 2

#Some terms#
per 75 = per 75 possessions, i.e. points per 75 possessions = measure of a player's scoring rate, an alternative to PPG. Each team plays at a different pace (and the league as a whole plays slightly faster or slower each season), so adjusting for pace like this allows us to compare players' scoring more fairly than PPG will. (Question: Why 75 possessions? - Answer: The average high-usage modern NBA player simply uses roughly 75 possessions/game, so "per 75" stats are perhaps easier to intuitively understand for most people than "per 100" stats, which are available on Basketball Reference.)
TS% = true shooting percentage, i.e. a player's scoring efficiency, basically FG%, but accounting for 3-pointers and free-throws
rTS% = relative TS%, i.e. how efficient a player's scoring is compared to league average scoring efficiency, which is 56.4 TS% in 2019-20 according to Basketball Reference
ORTG and DRTG are a team's offensive and defensive rating, respectively, with numbers taken from Basketball Reference.
rORTG/rDRTG = relative ORTG or DRTG, i.e. how good a team's offense is compared to league average offensive and defensive rating, which are 110.4 in 2019-20 according to Basketball Reference

• #1: Nikola Jokic, clutch god

I've talked about Chris Paul in an earlier post, but Jokic is right there with him as one of the clutchest players in the NBA. Joker is 3rd in points scored in the clutch, only behind CP3 and Trae Young, and the Nuggets are 2nd in the league in clutch wins, with a 26-14 record (65.0 win%) in clutch situations. In the clutch, Jokic has a personal net rating of +13.7, a 2.7 clutch AST/TO ratio, and shoots 60 TS%. Whether it be methodically bullying his way to the basket for a contested finish, a game-winning tip-in, or one of his ridiculous one-legged fadeaways (cries again in Sixers), simply giving the ball to Big Honey late in the 4th has proven to be winning formula for Denver.

• - Relevant post: Nikola Jokic's league-leading 6 game-winning clutch shots since January 2019

• #2: Anthony Davis, future Hall-of-Famer

According to Basketball Reference's Hall-of-Fame (HoF) tracker, after this year, at age 27, his 8th season in the NBA, Lakers superstar big Anthony Davis has a 91.27% chance of entering the Hall of Fame.
Just as a comparison, here's how BBRef's HoF tracker stacks up AD against other active likely Hall-of-Famers (left out the Warriors trio, and any players above >98% probability):

Player	HoF Probability	Age	Experience (years)	All-Star awards	Others
Vince Carter	94.55%	43	21	8	2 x All-NBA
Pau Gasol	93.35%	39	18	6	2 x NBA Champ, 4 x All-NBA
Anthony Davis	91.27%	27	7	7	3 x Blocks Champ, 3 x All-NBA, 3 x All-Defensive
Kyle Lowry	85.74%	34	13	6	1 x NBA Champ, 1 x All-NBA
Damian Lillard	68.62%	29	7	5	4 x All-NBA
Paul George	65.44%	30	9	6	1 x Steals Champ, 5 x All-NBA, 4 x All-Defensive
Kyrie Irving	64.77%	28	8	6	1 x NBA Champ, 2 x All-NBA
Kawhi Leonard	54.77%	28	8	4	1 x Steals Champ, 2 x NBA Champ, 3 x All-NBA, 5 x All-Defensive, 2 x DPOY, 2 x Finals MVP
Giannis Antetokounmpo	23.82%	25	6	4	3 x All-NBA, 2 x All-Defensive, 1 x MVP

• #3: That Bron-Brow thing

Borrowing this quote from my "unicorns" post featuring Anthony Davis a while back,

Vertical spacer: AD is arguably the GOAT lob-finisher (75 FG% from 0-3 feet). Davis's catch-radius is one of the best in NBA history. Just throw it up in the general direction of the rim and he'll make it work somehow with his touch and athleticism. His addition to the Lakers is a major reason why LeBron's leading the league in assists (2.8 of LeBron's 10.6 assists/game go to AD).

The Lakers' chemistry this season has been fabulous, with the team exceeding all expectations and leading the West. At the head of the team, the LeBron-AD connection, in particular, has been even better that people probably imagined coming into the season--- of all 2-man assist-combos in the league this year, James to Davis ranks 1st by a vast margin, with 172 assists between the two leading the league, far ahead of Lillard-Whiteside with 130 and Lou-Trez with 127.
LeBron hits AD in a variety of ways: in the pick-and-roll, with lobs and snappy interior dishes; pick-and-pop or drive-and-kick, with AD positioned in the midrange or out on the 3-point line; simply dumping it to AD in the post and letting him go to work; hitting AD quickly and accurately in transition as part of a new-age "Showtime" ; in semi-transition, or off made-field goals, LeBron lets AD leak out early in the shot clock to establish good post position quickly, and then hits him with a long-range outlet pass so that AD can ISO against an unprepared defense. The Lakers often get 1-2 buckets per game in this fashion alone.

• #4: Mitchell Robinson, making history

(By Popular Demand!)
The Knicks' young shot-eraser averaged 10 points, 7 rebounds, and 2 blocks on historic, league-leading, 74.2 FG% (alongside also-league-leading 74.2 eFG% and 72.6 TS%). It's the first figure we're concerned about here, as Robinson has potentially beaten Wilt Chamberlain's single-season FG% record of 72.7 FG%, set in 1972-73.
The biggest hurdle standing in the way of Mitchell's record being officially ratified by the NBA is, unfortunately, COVID-19.

The nba.com website provides a glossary of statistical minimums to qualify as a league-leader in any particular category. Under the assumption of an 82-game season, a player would need to make 300 field goals to qualify as the league leader in FG%. Through 66 games, Mitch made 253 field goals. In the absence of a shortened season, Mitch would be 47 made baskets short of qualifying as the league leader.
What muddies the question even further is that most teams will end the 2019-20 season playing an uneven number of games. NBA teams played anywhere from 64-67 games at the time of the shutdown.
The league needs to determine the number of games that will become the baseline for qualifying as a league leader in any statistical category. Will the league go with the higher threshold (72-75 games) or will the league consider that nearly a 1/3 of the league played a shorter schedule (64-67 games)?
Through 64 games – the fewest number of games played by an NBA team – a qualifying player would need to play in 45 games and make a minimum of 235 field goals to qualify as a league leader in FG%. Mitch would qualify based on a 64-game schedule. Additionally, Mitch would breakeven and qualify even if the NBA increased the qualifying games from 64 to 69.
However, if the NBA determines eligibility based on a 72-game schedule, a qualifying player would need to make 264 field goals to become the league leader in FG%, leaving Mitch 11 field goals short or breaking Wilt’s record.

Soooo, yeah. C'mon Adam Silver, do your thing. Let the Knicks fans have this.

• #5: Brandon Ingram's historic single-season shooting improvement

It often takes NBA players multiple years to rewrite flawed shot mechanics, and improvement likely won't be linear. LeBron, for example, took a solid 6-7 seasons to develop a reliable jumper, and his free throw shooting remains inconsistent to this day.
Sometimes, though, very rarely, players can show unprecedented jumps in shooting improvement (both free-throw and 3-point shooting) over the course of 1 or 2 seasons.
A good example of this is Pascal Siakam:

Season	3PA	3P%	FTA	FT%
2017-18	1.6	22.0%	1.1	62.1
2018-19	2.7	36.9%	3.8	78.5
2019-20	6.0	35.9%	5.2	80.0

Within 2 seasons, Spicy P has gone from a terrible 3-point shooter who barely took any 3s, to a consistent on-ball and off-ball threat from 3 this season, pulling up this season from deep with impunity. Similarly, he went from a horrendous free-throw shooter in 2018 to shooting above-average from the line on a significantly higher number of attempts. This is wonderful improvement from Pascal, in both free-throw and 3-point shooting, which is something we've rarely seen - FT% generally remains pretty stable over a player's career.
Now, while this is very cool, how is it relevant to Ingram? Well, what Ingram has done in 2019-20 is reproduce what Siakam did over the course of two seasons, within a single season, to an even higher degree:

Season	3PA	3P%	FTA	FT%
2018-19	1.8	33.0%	5.6	67.5
2019-20	6.3	38.7%	5.9	85.8

Within one season, Ingram:

• • Almost quadrupled his 3-point volume, and went from a below-average to elite 3-point threat in terms of 3P%, jumping 3 percentage points from 33% to 39%, all while --- hold my drink here--- taking much much harder threes: pull-up 3s, 3s off PnR and PnP, 3s around screens, stepbacks, deep threes, contested 3s, 3s off handoffs.
• • (Perhaps even more incredibly) Completely reworked his jumper to the point that his FT% improved by almost 20 percentage points. Twenty. Like, what?! And this isn't a fluke or low-sample-size improvement, either - he's taking almost 6 free throws a game!

These are staggering improvements.
Now, some Lakers fans are certain to chime in at this point that Ingram, in fact, shot 39% from 3 in his sophomore season, in 2017-18!
However, that season, he only shot 68% from the line, which, combined with his very low 3P volume (only 1.8 3PA), suggests that this season was more of a fluke. This is supported by the fact that his FT% and 3PA remained pretty unchanged in the following season (2018-19).
No, what Ingram's accomplished this season is pretty much completely unheard-of. Simply watching him shoot this season is a different experience altogether: "His motion is faster and more efficient now, he's no longer releasing this near the top of his jump, and so he doesn't pause the ball back at his right ear. The whole thing's just smoother now."
The credit for this unlikely improvement should go to Brandon and New Orleans's awesome assistant coach slash shot-doctor Fred Vinson, who worked very closely with both Ingram and Lonzo Ball this offseason, and allowed both of them to experience massive single-season shooting improvements.

• #6: Luka Dončić, the rightful 2019-20 Most Improved Player?

For some reason, it's seemingly become almost taboo amongst voters to include sophomore players in MIP voting discussions. Perhaps this is due to rookies being supposed to struggle, especially on defense, as part of "hitting the rookie wall", hence leading to their improvements in their sophomore years being almost expected, and nothing to write home about.
There's some validity to this idea, of course. A recent notable example is Sacramento Kings lottery pick DeAaron Fox, who struggled in his rookie year before exploding in his sophomore season (last year) as a top young point guard in the West.
However, those assumptions simply don't make sense for Dončić.
For one thing, Luka was the runaway Rookie of the Year. He averaged 21.2/7.8/6.0 as the number one option on a decent Mavericks side, and was even a fringe-mention in All-Star discussions. He was incredibly clutch, too. If there were any 'rookie struggles', Luka basically sidestepped them all.
Furthermore, and more importantly, Dončić has just had perhaps the greatest sophomore season in NBA history.
In the span of one season , Luka's gone from a sub-All Star to an undisputed top 5-10 player. With all due respect to Brandon Ingram, Jayson Tatum, Bam Adebayo, Pascal Siakam, Devonte' Graham, or any other MIP candidate who is out there, Luka's improvement this season across the board trumps them all. Compared to his rookie year, he's scoring much more often, more efficiently, facilitating more, facilitating more efficiently, rebounding more, leading a much more efficient offense, and just has a much higher impact on the court overall:

.	2019-20 Luka Dončić	2018-19 Luka Dončić
Summary: PTS/AST/REB, FG%/3P%/FT%	29/9/9, on 46/32/75 shooting, 53 eFG%	21/8/6, on 43/33/71 shooting, 50 eFG%
Scoring rate (Points scored/75 possessions)	31.3 PTS/75 (3rd)	23.9 PTS/75
Scoring efficiency	58.4 TS% (+2.0 rTS%), 53.1 eFG%	54.5 TS% (-1.5 rTS%), 49.7 eFG%
Assists/75, Assist %	9.5 AST/75 (4th), 45.3 AST% (2nd)	6.8 AST/75 (19th), 31.6 AST% (17th)
Turnover %, AST/TO ratio	14.6 TO%, 2.07 AST/TO	15.0 TO%, 1.76 AST/TO
Passer Rating (Backpicks)	8.3	7.0
Rebounding	9.3 RPG, 15 TRB%	7.8 RPG, 13 TRB%
On/Off	+1.3	-3.7
Team ORTG + How much it improves when he's on the court	116.7 ORTG (1st); +4.7	109.8 ORTG (20th); +0.0
Box Plus Minus (Backpicks)	6.9	2.3
Box Plus Minus (Basketball Reference)	8.4	3.9
WS/48 (Basketball Reference)	.205	.101
Real Plus Minus (ESPN)	3.80 (5th)	1.29 (86th)
RAPTOR (538)	+6.6 (7th)	+2.2 (57th)

To finish this section off, I thought I'd conclude with an excellent excerpt from The Ringer's Dan Devine, who wrote up a superb article on who he thinks deserves to win Most Improved Player (featuring Dončić, Adebayo, Ingram, and Tatum):

Ultimately, I came back to what I felt after the first quarter of the season: As impressive and valid as all the other brands of improvement are, and as difficult as all of those leaps are to make, there’s nothing more impressive or difficult than becoming a top-five player in the league. While I wound up leaving Doncic just outside my top five in MVP balloting, it was by the slimmest of margins; he’s fucking unreal, in a way that even the heady early days of “Halleluka” hype didn’t quite project.
This season, Doncic became just the fifth player ever to average 28 points, eight rebounds, and eight assists per game, joining Oscar Robertson, James Harden, Michael Jordan, and Russell Westbrook. He led not only this season’s no. 1 offense, but statistically the no. 1 NBA offense ever, and did it while combining usage and scoring efficiency to a degree matched only by Harden and Giannis.
...as John Hollinger noted at The Athletic, Doncic has also worked diligently to improve his left hand, opening up angles that defenses used to be able to close off to attack, probe, pass, and shoot. Now, the whole floor is unlocked, and opponents have to fear Doncic picking them apart from all over the court.
No player in the league made a bigger or more significant leap this season than Doncic. He returned Dallas to playoff contention, teaming with Kristaps Porzingis, sideline genius Rick Carlisle, and a deep roster of complementary role players to create an offensive juggernaut—one that promises to get even scarier as Doncic continues to work on his jumper. If Luka and the Mavericks offense are already this good while he shoots 31.8 percent from 3, what fresh hell can they unleash if he follows in Harden’s footsteps and gets up to 35 or 36, or even higher?

• #7: Patrick Beverley hates the Rockets

The Rockets and Clippers split their season-series 2-2, but Patrick Beverley managed to get himself ejected during 3 of their 4 matchups. I mean, that's just incredible consistency and deserves recognition.

• #8: The Goddess of Fortune also hates the Rockets

We all know about the infamous, unfathomable 27 consecutive missed-3s in 2018 WCF Game 7 that cost Houston a 15-point lead, and, effectively, the 2018 NBA championship as well, two seasons ago, but ill fortune has haunted the Rockets this season as well:

• • "Lonnie Walker IV Scores 28 Points, EPIC 4th Quarter!", 2-point Spurs win in double OT, Dec 3 2019. This was not only the sole instance Lonnie scored more than 18 points this season, but a James Harden dunk was also inexplicably discounted by the referees.
• • "Nemanja Bjelica CALLS GAME in Road Win Over Houston!", 1-point Kings win off Bjelica game-winner, Dec 10 2019.
• • This isn't really bad fortune, but it's too incredible to not mention here: The Warriors shock James Harden, Rockets on Christmas Day, 12-point Warriors win, Dec 25 2019. "No Steph Curry? No problem. A Warriors team led by Draymond Green, D'Angelo Russell, Damion Lee and Glenn Robinson III defeated the Houston Rockets on Christmas Day, 116-104." Yes, the 15-win, worst-record-in-the-league Warriors. Oh dear.
• • "Bojan Bogdanovic Hits Game-Winner With 1 Second Left In Wild Ending To Rockets-Jazz", 1-point Jazz win off Bogdanovic game-winner, Feb 9 2020.

• #9: Ben Simmons, good at defense
  This season, Ben Simmons has graduated a level on defense, becoming, as The Ringer's Rob Mahoney succinctly summarised in an excellent article, "one of the NBA’s very best defenders, full stop and without caveat."
  

In the Sixers' 6th-ranked defensive scheme (-2.2 rDRTG), Josh Richardson marks the speediest guards, while Horford and Embiid share the responsibility of walling off the rim and guarding opponent bigs. Simmons, meanwhile, is in charge of just about everyone else.
Krishna Narsu's Defensive Versatility Index ranks players by time spent guarding all 5 positions. Among players who've guarded at least 1500 possessions, Simmons ranks 6th in the league, notably guarding each of the guard and forward positions at least 18% of the time. He guards everyone from Bradley Beal and James Harden, to Aaron Gordon and Pascal Siakam.
Simmons moves his feet with the fluidity of a guard but also has the bulk and length of a big (6-10 and 240 pounds with a 7ft wingspan), able to shadow slippery jitterbugs around screens and have the footwork and IQ to deny Luka and Harden their stepbacks, but also able to bang with behemoths in the post.
Of course, no discussion of Simmons's defense would be complete without mentioning his hustle. Ben ranks 1st in steals/game (2.1), 3rd in deflections/game (4.0), and 2 in loose balls recovered/game (1.7). Though he hasn't offered too much in the way of rim protection this year (0.6 blks/G), Simmons is tremendously disruptive off the ball, constantly poking players' dribbles away from behind, reading passes before they happen, harassing ball-handlers, denying handoffs, ambushing passing lanes, and battling for rebounds (7.8 rebs/game, him and Embiid have helped the 6ers to the 2nd-best DRB% in the league).
Joel Embiid is still the most impactful defender on the team - the Sixers' defensive rating is 6.7 points better when he's on the court - but with him missing 21 games this season, it's been up to veteran defensive big Horford, and crucially, Simmons, to plug in the gaps, play multiple positions, and help maintain a passable team defense in JoJo's absence.
*Bonus:

• • Simmons defensive highlights
• • Simmons defensive analysis video
• • Simmons getting 3 clutch steals in 15 seconds to seal a razor-close win against the Indiana Pacers

• #10: Midrange Mastery

In this golden age of 3-point shooting, the historically-revered but objectively less efficient midrange shot (~ 40 FG% on average) has been largely eschewed from the league as a viable shot for the average NBA player.
For high scoring players, though, it remains a key component of the offensive arsenals of many stars - the ability to make these shots when defenses give them up in clutch situations or in the playoffs has been often discussed among fans and analysts.
.
This season, the 5 most efficient midrange scorers (minimum 100 midrange shots attempted) have been:
5. Damian Lillard's sharpshooting Portland running-mate CJ McCollum (49.3 FG%),
4. "50-40-90 club" inductee Malcolm Brogdon (50.6 FG%),
3. Cleveland's veteran star power-forward Kevin Love (52.0 FG%),
2. Milwaukee Bucks All-Star Khris Middleton (52.3 FG%), who's had an excellent season co-starring alongside likely-MVP Giannis leading Milwaukee to a historing winning pace, and is a literal hair away from "50-40-90 club" induction himself this year (49.9/41.8/90.8 splits),
1. and finally, last but certainly not least, with an incredible bounce-back season in Oklahoma at age 34, Chris Paul, who shot a scorching 53.9 FG% from his favourite zone on the court.
.
The 5 least efficient midrange shooters are a fun and varied bunch as well (these dudes should really be taking fewer of these particular shots):
5. brand-new Golden State Warriors employee Andrew Wiggins (33.8 FG%),
4. Chicago's promising young rookie guard Coby White (33.6 FG%),
3. the defending champion Raptors' newly minted All-Star Pascal Siakam (32.1 FG%),
2. a fellow All-Star who's perhaps finally found his perfect home in Miami and has had an excellent season overall, Jimmy Butler (31.0 FG%),
1. and finally, last and most certainly least, shooting a putrid 25.4 FG% from the midrange: full-time rapper, part-time Slam Dunk Contest runner-up, the Orlando Magic's do-everything-except-shooting-quite-well Power Forward... Aaron Gordon.
.
Now, efficiency is all nice and dandy, but you might be wondering at this point - who's actually taking the most midrange shots in the league? Most of these names will likely be some familiar to fans as well-seasoned practitioners of the midrange - the 5 most prolific midrange shot-takers in the league in 2020:
5. CJ McCollum (280 attempts, 49.3 FG%), who we've mentioned previously,
4. defending Finals MVP Kawhi Leonard (282 attempts, 44.0 FG%), who led the nation of Canada to their maiden title last year with the midrange fadeaway as a trusty and now iconic weapon in his arsenal (cries in Sixers),
3. the newest entry in the top three (he was 15th last season), Phoenix's 1st-time All-Star Devin Booker (288 attempts, 44.4 FG%), who's had an excellent offensive campaign (25.7 points and 6.5 assists per 75 on awesome +5.3 efficiency) leading the oft-maligned Suns to a league average offense,
2. the guy who replaced Kawhi Leonard on the Spurs, fellow midrange enthusiast DeMar DeRozan (331 attempts, 44.7 FG%), whose game is now synonymous (to a slightly unhealthy degree) with his love for the midrange,
1. and finally, DeMar's fellow San Antonio running-mate and stretch big LaMarcus Aldridge (352 attempts, 44.9 FG%). Fun-fact: these two finished 1st and 2nd in last year's list as well.

• #11: Yo speaking of DeMar... what's he been up to recently?

We've always known him as Toronto's beloved All-Star guard who shares Ben Simmons's aversion to the 3-point shot, but since the fateful 2018 Kawhi Leonard trade that sent him to San Antonio, DeMar DeRozan has faded from the spotlight somewhat as the Spurs now face an annual struggle to make the playoffs in a brutal Western Conference. So, how's he been faring in his second year donning the black and silver?

• • The first thing you probably notice about 2020 DeMar DeRozan is that this is easily the most efficient version of him we've ever seen - he's averaged 23.3 points and 5.9 assists per 75 on 53% shooting from the field and 60 TS%, 3.3 points higher than league-average efficiency (i.e. +3.3 rTS%). His previous most efficient volume-scoring output was in 2015-16, where he scored 25.3 points per 75 on +0.9 efficiency (55 TS%). DeMar's shooting percentage at the rim has been incredible for his position - 70.7 FG% in the restricted area, which is similar at-rim efficiency to someone like LeBron James (69 FG%) or Anthony Davis (73 FG%) - on far fewer attempts, of course, but still highly impressive.
• • The second thing you might is that this season has been a tale of two DeMars. Including and prior to 12-22-2019, a 25-point loss to the Clippers, DeRozan averaged 20.7 points and 4.7 assists on 56 TS% (-0.4 rTS%). Since that date, over 33 games, he's averaged 23.4 points and 6.3 assists on blistering hot efficiency, 55/27/87 splits, or 63 TS% (+6.3 rTS%). As a result, DeMar DeRozan now holds the record for the longest streak of 20+ points and >50 FG% by guards in NBA history. Cool stuff!
• • This wasn't a random change, though. Coach Pop made two key changes after that horrific Clippers loss. First, he moved DeMar to Power Forward, to reduce Rudy Gay's playing time and veer away from having LaMarcus Aldridge and non-shooting center Jakob Poeltl share the court, to try and improve spacing. Second, he moved LMA to the 3-point line and implored LMA to shart shooting 3s. The effect was near-instantaneous - all of a sudden, with LMA bombing away from 3 (4.2 3PA, 42 3P% in 23 games since 12/23/19), DeRozan has had more driving lanes to work with, abusing more mismatches and drawing more fouls (5.8->7.3 FTA/G), having more midrange real-estate to find clearer looks and also finishing more cleanly at the rim (49.9->55.0 FG%), and attracting more defensive attention as a result to facilitate the Spurs offense (4.7->6.3).
• • The third thing you might realize is that DeMar is still a very poor defender. The Spurs are a whopping 5.9 points better on defense with DeMar off the court, and most available defensive metrics available all paint DeMar as a bottom 10th-15th percentile defender - D-PIPM (17th-worst), D-RAPM (449th), D-RAPTOR (226th out of 250), D-RPM (469th). He consistently ranks near the bottom of the league in hustle stats, is terrible at fighting over screens, is a non-factor in transition defense (he has a penchant for complaining for missed calls), is inconsistent in closing out to shooters, strikes out when gambling for steals, has questionable decision-making and often finds himself a step or two behind opponent plays, stuck in no-mans-land, making him a poor team defender. He's not terrible at man defense, and the move to power forward actually helped his defense somewhat, as opponent PFs only have a 15.1 PER (around league average) when facing DeRozan, whereas opponent SFs have an excellent 19.7 PER with DeMar as the primary defender. Not all of San Antonio's defensive woes can be attributed to DeMar. The team is in a constant state of defensive flux - a dearth of shooting forces Popovich to often play proven floor-spacer but absolute defensive sieve Bryn Forbes, while inconsistent shooting and offensive production limit the Spurs' best all-round defender, Dejounte Murray's, court time, and a lack of spacing also stops excellent rim protector Jakob Poeltl from earning consistent minutes as lineups pairing him and LMA have been awful on offense.
• • The fourth and final thing, perhaps, is that the situation in San Antonio is very tenuous for both DeMar and the team alike. The Spurs are currently stuck between eras, trying to churn out winning seasons and maintain their streak of 22 consecutive playoff appearances by playing veterans like DeMar, LMA, and Gay large minutes while simultaneously trying to develop younger promising players like Murray, White, Lonnie Walker, Lyles, and Poeltl. This has yielded mixed results this season because of a lack of spacing and inconsistent defense. Meanwhile, DeMar is on the wrong side of 30 and has a possible contract extension looming ($150M, 4 years, if I'm not mistaken). Some say he'll leave, some say a potential cap-drop resulting from COVID-19 could convince him to opt-in. Either way, this season is a turning point for the team and for DeMar.

• #12: The Memphis Grizzlies' Funky Big Trio

Three of Memphis's four best players might be bigs, with Jonas Valančiūnas (28 y/o), Jaren Jackson Jr. (20 y/o), and Brandon Clarke (23 y/o) hoping to continue the Grizzlies' tradition of producing elite bigs like ZBo and Marc Gasol. What makes these 3 so fun is in how different they all are, and yet so effective in their roles. Valančiūnas (15/11/2 on +6.7 rTS%) is an old-school low-post monster, slow and methodical with his back to the basket, an elite rebounder, and brutally effective against teams with undersized bigs. To loosely quote Zach Lowe, I really enjoy watching Grizzlies unleash JV every 2 or 3 games to mash teams with below average rim protection. He is solid in his defensive role in the Grizzlies drop coverage and can move his feet decently, but is vulnerable against strong pick-and-pop and pick-and-roll teams (e.g. Blazers, Wolves, Mavs). Jaren Jackson Jr (17/5/1.5 on +2.6 rTS%), meanwhile, is easily the 2nd most important offensive piece on the team, mainly due to his elite floor-spacing - he's frighteningly adept at his role, hitting 40% of his 6 to 7 3 point attempts per game, making these off-the-dribble, pick-and-pop, as stepbacks, traditional catch-and-shoot, inverted PnR, or even the odd hail mary yeet the moment he crosses half-court, the whole package. He also remains adept at the rim, scoring 70 FG% from 0-3 feet. He has yet to fulfil his defensive potential, however, held back by fouling concerns. Brandon Clarke (12/6/1.5 on +10.6 rTS%) is perhaps the best value-for-money pick in the draft, selected as no. 21 but all but guaranteed to make an All-Rookie team. His skillset has transferred shockingly well to the NBA, as a crazy-efficient scorer, athletic rebounder, and being able to defend just about every position on the court. Clarke is money at the rim (74.4 FG% in the restricted area) with dunks, alley-oops, finger-rolls, and tip-ins; he has a gorgeous floater which he unleashes further away in the paint (elite 56.8 FG% in the non-restricted area of the paint); and he's capable of knocking down the odd open above-the-break 3 (43.3 FG%) on very low volume (30 3PA). Both he and Jaren have highly varied and scale-able skillsets that mesh with a variety of teammates and lineup types. The Grizzlies' future is bright.

• #13: Marcus Smart vs Terry Rozier, as 3 point shooters

These two players, former teammates during their fairytale run to the conference finals in 2018, are now very different players on very different teams - Scary Terry has had himself a decent season at Charlotte as a primary scoresecondary playmaker (18/4/4 on 55 TS%), while Smart is a defensively-elite "stretch-6" in Boston as a key contributor on both ends and part-time PG. However, what I'm interested in today is the ways these two players contrast in terms of 3-point shooting.
This season, Rozier has hit an elite 41% of his 6.7 3PA while Smart has connected on a decent 35% of his 6.9 3PA. To be more precise, Terry Rozier is one of the league's best catch-and-shoot players, hitting an incredible 45.7% of his catch-and-shoot 3s, with a more pedestrian 34% on his pullup 3s.
On the other hand, Marcus Smart is one of the league's best pull-up shooters, hitting an elite 40.4% of his pull-up 3s, but a horrendous 31.4% on catch-and-shoot 3s. A fun contrast!

First off, I hope everyone is staying healthy and safe at home. If you’re like me (that is, currently unemployed and demotivated to hell), you’re probably watching a lot of movies. My sister and I watch one every night (aside from Sunday, reserved for Westworld), so I started to keep track. Here’s a list of each one so far; I’ve scored each using the four star method, with the lowest score being half a star, and based my ranking on how much I enjoyed the film, irrespective of how “good” the movie actually is. For example, Tremors is a cult hit that some of my favorite reviewers recommend, but I found it quite dry and poorly paced. So, with that in mind, here are the movies, ranked from worst (in my opinion) to best.
Spoiler alert for literally everything.
The worst movies we saw:
King Kong (2005) – 0.5 out of 4 stars
Anyone who remembers loving this film fifteen years ago (I mean, I did) seriously needs to watch it today. I’ve never witnessed a film so overstuffed with content, yet so shallow and vapid. The editing is an unparalleled nightmare, with cuts so fast they started to cross my eyes. An utterly exhausting experience and true premonition of what was to come of Peter Jackson’s downfall with the Hobbit franchise. This is where it all started to crumble.
2. The Bee Movie (2007) – 0.5 out of 4 stars
Jerry Seinfeld’s wealth and influence is the only explanation for what is surely one of the worst high-budget, Hollywood animated films of the twenty-first century. Tons of dry, adult humor that would soar over parents’ heads, let alone their kids, and a plot that blends a metaphor for the monotony of regular life with nonsensical kid-logic where a Bee can flirt with a human. It wasn’t even so-bad-it’s-good; the memes do this movie way too much justice.
3. Guns Akimbo (2019) – 0.5 out of 4 stars
An edgelord director makes a cheap VOD rip-off of John Wick and drags Daniel Radcliff down with him. There are almost no positives here, what with a metric ton of lame “gamer” jokes, terrible editing, inconsistent sound design, and bad acting all around. If this were a college student’s project, I would be so impressed, but it feels more like a goth teenager from 2010 made it in their back yard. This premise is wasted on a few decent jokes related to putting on pants with guns bolted to someone’s hands. Overall, I shame-walked my way out of this movie with a bad taste in my mouth.
4. Into the Grizzly Maze (2015) - 0.5 out of 4 stars
Jaws with a bear. James Marsden. Thomas Jane. Billybob Thorton. Direct to streaming. Base Adobe After Effects plugins. A greenscreen bear. Watch literally anything else. Yes, I paid to rent it. No, I’m not proud.
5. Dangerous Lies (2020) - 0.5 out of 4 stars
Another one to fill up the Netflix servers. A dull mystery, like if Knives Out was pumped full of Quaaludes and half the cast disappeared. The most famous actress they got is from the show Riverdale, and they name drop her in the title of the trailer on YouTube, if that tells you anything. The screenwriter is a sheltered fool with no understanding of how laws work and the story feels like the dramatization of a college student’s short story in their Composition 1 class, where there are some ideas at play but they still have to, you know, learn how to write. Generally embarrassing for all parties involved, especially anyone who watched it.
The still-bad-but-not-horrendous reviews:
The Golden Compass (2007) – 1 out of 4 stars
Tons of money, Daniel Craig, and Nicole Kidman couldn’t save this poor man’s version of The Chronicles of Narnia if it tried, and boy did it try. This is a case of the movie seemingly getting the source material right, and that being the wrong decision, considering it’s really, really stupid. Sure, the anti-organized religion themes are pretty cool for a kid’s movie, but the talking animals make zero sense in the story and have fuck all to do with anything that matters. The rules are unclear, the stakes are low, and ultimately, it all feels like a waste of time.
2. Underwater (2020) – 1 out of 4 stars
Ah, another Alien clone. Just kidding, this movie isn’t even as good as most clones (looking at you, Life). The movie offers about three seconds to the viewer before the plot literally explodes and pushes the “story” along. Remember meeting the crew in Alien, and how it takes forever for someone to die, but when they do, it sucks because you liked them? This movie was asleep during that part. It just goes and goes, meaningless, nameless characters die and die, and the monsters are cheap looking until the Cthulhu reveal, who’s the villain just because (this is how I assume the movie was pitched).
3. Event Horizon (1997) – 1 out of 4 stars
People love this movie, and this was my second viewing. How it’s a cult classic is beyond me. There are a few nice practical and CGI shots (also a ton of bad CGI, but it was the nineties), and some cool, weird set design, but otherwise, the plot is boring and predictable. My sister called it “It in space” which I think is apt, considering the evil force on the ship acts like Pennywise for some reason. Also, the famous the blood orgy? The Hell world? It makes up about twenty seconds of the hour and forty-minute runtime and is as tame as Sunday afternoon brunch. Honestly, this is another King Kong where people have faded memories and don’t remember the real movie, which, may I remind you, was directed by the genius behind the Resident Evil film franchise.
4. The Trust (2015) – 1 out of 4 stars
Talented directors with real skill behind the camera, great lighting, and beautiful cinematography; all of it for nothing, because the script is absolutely terrible. Poor Elijah Wood: he gets to work with Nic Cage, who, for the first time I’ve ever seen, is completely phoning it in. This could have been a wonderful black comedy, and it tries to be, except it’s shot like a spinoff of the Jason Bourne series. Everything is so miserable and serious, so flat and joyless; after thirty minutes, I realized that no one has any idea what their character motivation is. Random things happen and we’re supposed to believe it. What a waste.
5. Tremors (1990) – 1.5 out of 4 stars
God, I wanted to love this. I love practical, low-budget effects and a big goofy monster. I love the premise, the small-town townsfolk, the wooden acting. But honestly, this movie was too boring and joyless during any scene not involving one of the worm monsters. There were some awesome and creative sequences, but ultimately, I realized I couldn’t care less about any of the characters due to the weak script and dialogue. As a result, the movie felt four hours long. I was genuinely disappointed with this one.
6. The Simpsons Movie (2007) – 1.5 out of 4 stars
Again, when was the last time you actually sat down and watched this movie? The Simpsons is my favorite animated television show and featured some of the best comedy writing for the small screen in history, period. I quote lines almost every day. But the movie was edited hyper-fast, and while filled with a lot of good jokes, most of them felt like they were written in a vacuum. The story and comedy don’t gel at all, instead opting for two separate trains of thought. There are twenty-minute episodes from 1999 of the show that tell a better, more meaningful tale than the feature film, and that’s a tragedy.
7. Killer Workout (1987) – 2 out of 4 stars
This is a terrible film, made by a pervert who wanted to get hot young women into workout clothes, and have a killer who murders people with a giant safety pin (is that some kind of pun?). For all intents and purposes, it’s disgusting; but watching this D-level, horny director make this movie just for an excuse to jerk it in the editing bay is a spectacle to behold. Many belly laughs were had during our screening, but it’s hard to really recommend this unless you adore awful, awful filmmaking.
8. Samurai Cop (1991) – 2 out of 4 stars
Move over The Room. See you in hell, Troll 2. This movie makes those look Oscar-worthy. The only reason it has a lower score is because, despite being made by a bunch of incompetent jokers with mismatched cameras, barely any sound equipment, and the worst actors ever assembled, it can drag its feet quite a bit. This was my second viewing, and I have to say, I did become a bit bored. But if you’ve never watched it, it’s free with Amazon Prime, so what are you waiting for? Also, if anyone knows the names of literally any character, please let me know; that’s still a mystery to me.
9. Onward (2020) – 2 out 4 stars
Another safe installment from the immense talents over at Pixar. I was pretty let down by this movie, which had an interesting premise (also a very good ending) and good actors involved. But ultimately, the story is just Finding Nemo again, which, at the time, was told better, had more at stake, and left a long-lasting impact on cinema as a whole. All Onward is going to do is fade into Disney+ obscurity, despite the breathtaking animation, which is some of the best in the studio’s history. Seriously, watch the scene where the older brother drifts his van in front of the school, it looks incredible.
10. Stuber (2019) – 2 out of 4 stars
Movies like this usually get crap critic scores and great user ones. Was is a masterclass in storytelling? No. Did it have the best jokes I’ve ever heard? No. Was it a well-meaning, decently acted, and funny little adventure? Damn right. Sometimes you just want a good time, and this movie can give it to you. It’s nothing amazing, and it’s not horrible, but if you like Kumail Nanjiani, then hey, you’ll probably like this too. Also, Dave Bautista was pretty fun throughout as well.
11. Vivarium (2020) – 2 out of 4 stars
If this had been a half-hour long shot film, it would have been perfect. Good casting, a brilliant premise, and interesting visual style art marred by a director who has zero ideas on how to expound upon it all to create a feature film. Instead, he tries to distract his audience with a few new mysteries to solve, which end up as solution-less time-filler in order to get to the original short film’s obvious ending, which is spoiled by some nonsense arthouse symbolism about birds. Its deceptive how bad this movie actually is once the credits role; the only reason it scores so high is because of how good the first act is.
Now for the pretty good reviews
Wish Upon (2017) – 2.5 out of 4 stars
I can see your jaws dropping right about now, so rest assured, this movie sucks. But it was written by what seems like a two hundred-year old man trying to understand millennials, and it’s so accidentally hilarious I have to tell you all to give it a try. It’s the least scary teen-scream flick in a long time and the ending had me jumping out my seat, roaring with laughter. It’s shot like an anti-smoking advertisement, will dull, flat light and no colors to speak of. The actors are as equally bad as the script; I don’t know what directors see in Joey King that I don’t, but she makes one of the least likable protagonists in a horror film to date.
2. 47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019) – 2.5 out of 4 stars
I know, I know, your jaws are still on the ground. This VOD sequel to the totally underwhelming and dull original features several plain teenagers scuba diving in an underwater cave system, with a blind great white shark on their tail (yay, more puns). The acting is atrocious, there’s a scene where a fish literally screams at them underwater, and they have an imaginary comms system that somehow lets them all yammer on throughout the movie while also diving. But I watched this as a double feature with Underwater, and this was so much more fun in comparison. Lots of schlocky deaths, stupid scares, and every law of physics broken, which makes this a good popcorn flick to watch with friends (especially during a pandemic).
3. Color Out of Space (2019) – 2.5 out of 4 stars
I love The Thing, like I’m sure you all do. And this was a pretty good homage to the John Carpenter-era of eighties horror films. It even gets the cosmic horror elements (mostly) right. But this is one of the only times where I’d recommend not casting batshit insane Nic Cage for your movie. He actually detracts from the otherwise shocked and terrified family members who help ground the emotional core of the script. He seems to be off in his own world on this one, which ends up making the family dynamic disjointed rather than relatable. There are some true horror moments (mom and baby fused together, ew) that I’ll remember for a long time, but it does fall a bit short to the classics with hindsight.
4. The Rocketeer (1991) – 3 out of 4 stars
I’m twenty-five and have never seen this movie. This is a criticism of my parents, of course, who probably didn’t see it either since it was a flop at the time. But what a wonderful action adventure for any age, with great practical effects, and a fun story featuring our hapless, aloof hero fighting a secret Nazi spy who’s also a movie star. He screws up his relationship with Jennifer Connelly and has goes through daring feats to win back her affection. It’s funny, charming, and warm; I mean, what makes you get all soft and fuzzy like mobsters teaming up with the FBI to kill Nazis? I miss this Disney!
5. Sky High (2005) – 3 out of 4 stars
My sister begged to watch this one night. “When’s the last time you saw it?” she said. Over and over. I heard the premise; I thought it was stupid. I was sort of right, but the purposely cheesy performances from everyone, and seeing Kurt Russel and Bruce Campbell as lame superheroes, was actually really entertaining and charming. The plot was obvious but well-paced, and the director seemed to be doing a Sam Raimi thing (seriously, every shot is a pushed-in Dutch angle, like an Evil Dead for kids) which was a lot of fun. Honestly, I was shocked I enjoyed it as much as I did.
6. American Animals (2018) – 3 out of 4 stars
This was a really interesting take on the true-story genre, by having the real people interviewed and spliced together with the actors. It felt like a long episode of a docuseries, and that isn’t a complaint. Really well acted, great story, and good direction come together to make a fascinating true crime movie about four losers who try to steal millions of dollars’ worth of rare books. Evan Peters was perfect in his role and should be in more feature films. The only issue, for me and my sister, was that it ends up a little dry towards the end. It lacks that energy and excitement that would otherwise award it a higher score in my book.
Really good reviews:
Robocop (1987) – 3.5 out of 4 stars
Does it get any more eighties than this? Blood and gore, a stop-motion robot that makes tiger sounds and falls down a flight of stairs, crime fighting one-liners, a toxic goo man exploding; it’s just the best. This was, of course, not my first viewing, but my sister was giggling through the whole screening like a child. And its hard not to; this is the quintessential action movie of that era. The plot is simple and easy to understand, the bad guys are literal cartoon characters, and everything feels like it had a bump of cocaine before hitting the set. If I have any real complaints, I do think the tone wavers between having fun and being super dark, and that can alienate some viewers, so I can’t quite give it a perfect four. Sorry everyone.
2. Deep Blue Sea (1999) – 3.5 out of 4 stars
I love bad shark movies, and every time I watch this one, I make up the same story: a studio went to the director and said, “Hey, here’s a bunch of money, makes something like Jaws for the summer, it’ll make a shitload of money. Here’s a treatment script and all the budget you need. Do whatever you want.” And boy howdy did they do whatever the fuck they wanted. So many bait and switch moments to subvert our expectations, like Sam Jackson getting eaten mid-speech, or the lead heroine attempting to save they day and being eaten alive pointlessly in the last five minutes. If you’ve never watched it, you just have to. Don’t you want to see LL Cool J kill a giant shark in a flooded kitchen with a zippo lighter? Of course you do.
3. Prisoners (2013) – 3.5 out of 4 stars
Although it doesn’t fully explore the depths of each mystery, this is a brilliantly acted, tense thriller from the incredible Denis Villeneuve, who since joining Hollywood simply hasn’t directed a bad movie. Move the hell over JJ Abrams, we got a real storyteller here, one who doesn’t fancy himself a great writer, instead taking good scripts and elevating them into even better movies. This is a great, dark story that tackles the unending grief of having a child abducted, and the lengths you’d go in order to get them back.
4. The Invitation (2015) – 3.5 out of 4 stars
A claustrophobic, anxiety-inducing thriller starring a relatively unknown cast of actors (aside from the two male leads). The director utilizes one location with such skill, and gives really strong motivation for the protagonist to move this horror story that uses social anxiety, grief, and coping with loss to inspire scares. This was another not-first time for me, and I loved it just as much if not more. If I had to pick at it, I’ll say that some of the side characters (the friend group) could have used a little more fleshing out before everything starts to get weird.
5. La La Land (2016) – 3.5 out of 4 stars
There isn’t much to say that hasn’t already been said about this one, but I loved it just the same. I remember seeing it in theaters, my musical-loving girlfriend dragging me along, and me dreading it. I even snuck a beer into the theater to try and deal. Four years later, everything that was wonderful about it still is: the music is brilliant; the chemistry between the leads is exceptional. It’s a typical Hollywood-jerking-itself-off story, sure, but I enjoyed the themes of following your dreams becoming something you weren’t prepared for and having to sacrifice one kind of happiness for another. The ending is solid too. Quick question though – is this a musical, in the true sense of the word? My girlfriend says no. And after watch Hairspray (which I hated), that seems to be the case. Please let me know.
6. Bad Education (2020) – 3.5 out of 4 stars
The best Hugh Jackman performance since Prisoners. A gripping, dark, and hilarious true story written by a guy who watched it unfold in person, this movie details the absurdity of embezzlement through a wealthy Long Island education system. The dialogue was slick, the acting perfect, and the direction actually very empathetic to all of the characters. It was a rare case of the film not really taking any side; almost bipartisan, like a documentary. This is rare for me in that I wish it was a little bit longer; I was hoping for more scenes of the aftermath, maybe the future, but what we got works just as well.
7. Looper (2012) – 3.5 out of 4 stars
A great interpretation of the future blended with the fun of 20th century organized crime. Rian Johnson has proven with Knives Out that The Last Jedi was some kind of fluke, because he really is a good storyteller. And, since people only rip his writing abilities, he’s a great director as well. This movie could have fallen into a million cliché traps, but it doesn’t; it has its own vision and voice, and in a world with endless science fiction trash, it’s very refreshing. I can’t call it perfect; Bruce Willis has a scene that basically tells the audience to ignore the time travel stuff because it doesn’t make sense; I respect this, but wouldn’t it be great if the emotional core of the script could make more sense? But bonus points for good humor, Rian’s got that down (aside from in Star Wars).
Perfect Scores
There Will Be Blood (2007) – 4 out of 4 stars
One of the most modern and compelling westerns I’ve ever seen (although no gunslingers here). Of course, Daniel Day Lewis is to thank for bringing the character Daniel Plainview to life; watching a hardworking, blue-collar miner become a twisted, wealthy, and ultimately soulless oil tycoon is breathtaking. The first half hour of the movie has almost no dialogue at all, and as time begins to pass and the characters develop, the dialogue that emerges is nearly unrivaled in today’s cinema (except maybe with The Lighthouse). The ending is worth the price of admission (which is free, if you have Netflix), and once you’re done with you’re screening, you too will be hollering “I am a false profit, and God is a superstition!”
2. Fargo (1996) – 4 out of 4 stars
Sarcastic and witty, this is the definitive Cohen Brothers screenplay. The performances (and accents) are now as iconic as Steve Buscemi being jammed into a woodchipper. The setup of the film, and lack of any kind of explanation for why William H. Macy is such a scumbag, only makes the story feel more manic, more off-the-wall. Everything is fine-tuned to make you laugh, while also intrigued as to what will become of all these pedantic, silly people. If by some miracle you haven’t already, give it a watch.
3. Rango (2011) – 4 out of 4 stars
It is absolutely, positively, fucking criminal that no one ever talks about this film. Much like everyone here, I’d never seen it before (free on Amazon Prime), and after three minutes I was hooked. The visual style, the cinematography, the bizarre photorealistic characters; it’s perfect. It’s oozing with style, with an amazing script jammed with jokes and a smooth-talking Johnny Depp as the lead, along with a great ensemble class. I’d wager to say that this is one of the best, if not the best, 3D animated film of the last decade. Hell, of the twenty-first century. This movie is what would happen if Disney or Pixar grew some balls and did something different for a change (whoops, controversial!)
4. Whiplash (2014) – 4 out of 4 stars
Damian Chazelle is a master of his craft; this much is clear from his debut fucking feature. Seriously, this movie has an intensity to it, and it achieves that by hijacking the spirit of jazz and injecting it with liquid stress. I normally hate Miles Teller (this is completely a personal judgement), but he was perfect for the role. I totally bought him as this young, doughy-faced college sophomore desperate for approval in a world that could give a shit about him. J.K. Simmons rides that line of being hammy and terrifying, and the direction is sublime. Chazelle is one to watch in the next few decades for sure.
5. The Witch (2015) – 4 out of 4 stars
So, I’ve seen this like five times now. It’s still amazing. What a first feature; I’m sure Robert Eggers thought, “Yeah, let’s make it a period piece with era-correct speech and fill it with themes of abandoning belief and existential dread, people will love it.” Spoilers though, only weirdos like you and me do. Our spouses and significant others look over at us, shake their heads, and say, “What the fuck is this?” That won’t stop me from singing its praises though; this is the ideally structured horror movie, with a captivating cast, script, and vision of survival in the seventeenth century. Really makes you think that being quarantined isn’t so bad after all (unless you're trapped with Black Phillip).
6. The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017) – 4 out of 4 stars
This is probably one of the most uncomfortable horror movies I’ve seen in a long time; it’s so bizarre, in fact, I’m pretty sure no one liked it or even bothered to see it. It made some pathetic number, way below its budget, during a short theatrical run, and then faded away into A24’s catalog. But I beg you, if you like psychological horror, slow burns, great writing, and being unsettled, please see this film. The dialogue is delivered by each actor robotically, in this unnatural tone that at first seems like a mistake; it could be easy to dismiss this as “weird” by non-horror fans. The film only becomes more nightmarish as the story builds towards its climax. Also, points for such an utterly strange plot that, for once in a horror movie, doesn’t feel like a retread of other, better films.
7. Thoroughbreds (2017) – 4 out of 4 stars
Talk about some of the best dialogue in the last decade. This movie is so simple, and both lead actresses are stunning in their portrayals of two complete sociopaths. Anton Yelchin gives his final performance and he steals every scene he’s in (as usual), and I was really impressed with just how sad his character made me feel. This loser selling drugs to teens while he’s in his mid-twenties, desperately working for something better doing the only thing he knows how. It’s really fun to see his tough guy persona melt in front of our leads, who despite looking like innocent high school girls, are planning a literal murder. If you want a thriller with great characters and gut-punching twists, this is the movie for you.
8. Booksmart (2019) – 4 out of 4 stars
Oh, happy day, a comedy that (almost) doesn’t star washed up SNL alumni (Jason Sudeikis gets a pass for being married to the director). Look, I’m not saying that every poorly directed, badly lit, bland film featuring endless improve from people that used to be funny can’t be good, but they usually aren’t. Instead, this movie takes the plain and simple coming of age story and tells it again, this time with millennials and stellar writing. And the best part? You don’t know any of the main character’s actors. They aren’t Will Ferrell or Adam Sandler. You don’t have to pretend they're real people and not movie stars. The leads are hysterical, their adventure is unique and filled with heart, and all the supporting cast are incredible. This isn’t just funny; it’s earnest, and it actually means something.
9. Vampire’s Kiss (1989) – 4 out of 4 stars
Okay, okay, here me out: you know that meme with Nic Cage, where his eyes are bugging out? How about that clip where he recites the alphabet in full while shouting at his therapist? Yeah, that’s this fucking movie. Never in my life, not since The Evil Dead 2, have I fallen in love with something so funny, so ahead of its time, that rides the line between utter garbage and secret masterpiece. And just like The Evil Dead 2, this is as masterpiece. You got Nic Cage doing what sounds like a Donald Trump impression, mechanical bats, Nic Cage eating a live cockroach, Nic Cage covered in blood with fake vampire fangs and a wooden stake begging New Yorkers to kill him. This movie was a failure when it was made, but I swear to god, it was made thirty years too early. Or maybe I’m just crazy.
10. Cop Car (2015) – 4 out of 4 stars
Add this to the list of great movies no one has ever seen but is actually streaming on Netflix. I clicked on this on a total whim, knowing nothing about it, and was beyond surprised. Every shot looks like it could have been principle photography for No Country for Old Men, except the two lead actors are literally children under the age of twelve. Now, normally, kids are terrible in films, between a lack of acting ability, and writers that don’t understand them. This movie nails how kids actually think. It’s not that they’re stupid, they’re learning; and on the way, they develop their own kid logic that, during this film, is enough to get them to steal a cop car in an empty field. Kevin Bacon is a wonderful villain, and the story was so twisty that I couldn’t even guess ahead. Please give this more love, it deserves it.
Jeez, that was a lot. Thanks for reading everyone! I apologize if I ragged on a movie you like, remember that this is just my opinion and you're allowed yours as well. Stay safe!

This is the third part of my posts on Doomsday Clock and continuity.
The First post was on it being canon.
The Second was about when it takes place and the impact it’ll have.
This third post is mostly theorizing how things will line up to DDC and clear out possible continuity errors it may have. I will make a fourth post that's not necessarily part of this series and more theorizes on the future ahead.
Once again, like Part 2 this will have spoilers for Doomsday Clock, Doom War, Hell Arisen, Event Leviathan, Batman, Gotham City Monsters etc. You have been warned. Read the book if you haven't yet.
​

Part 3: How Continuity Will Line Up with Doomsday Clock

So by now, I've proven that Doomsday Clock is canon, that it's ahead of current continuity (just before the next timeline comes in), that it's impact will be felt. But what about the continuity errors?
​
For reference let’s take a look at an article by u/richjohnston from Bleeding Cool for
"Five Struggles That The New DC Timeline Will Have Incorporating Doomsday Clock in 2020"
He lists down the errors as:

1. There is no sign of the Superman Theory taking place or being propagated by Luthor – or anyone. Oh and Luthor is no longer a nine-foot Martian human apex predator hybrid. Though that latter aspect is probably the most malleable. But will Luthor really be able to go back to the way he was, as top manipulative businessman pushing the Superman Theory that the government is involved in the secret creation of all superheroes, even if it is a version of events that gets rewritten and pushed back into the Third or Second Generation of the DC Comics timeline?
   
2. Alfred Pennyworth is dead in the Batman comics, killed by Bane, a state that seems to sticking for the foreseeable future. In Doomsday Clock, he is alive and well.
   
3. Superman’s secret identity is gone in the Superman comics, another state of events that is intended to the way things are for the foreseeable future, but in Doomsday Clock, no one but the usual suspects know that Superman and Clark Kent are one and the same.
   
4. Dick Grayson is Nightwing again, and not Ric Grayson, Okay, this is one that looks like it will be reversed very soon. Probably shouldn’t have included that one.
   
5. Oh and yes, Superman’s parents are alive again and present in the DC Universe in the present day. Matt Fraction has teased this may be tackled in Heroes and other Superman titles... but will it?
   

​
First let's start with the easy ones, 4 and 5.
Like he says, this is a non-problem. We've already got confirmation from Didio himself that he'll be back "soon".
What about the Kents? Mr. Johnston even claims in another article that they'll retcon this away so they'll be dead again.
Now if you read part 2 of my posts, in reality, this is another non-problem. If not, please read it but here's a short excerpt:

People think that them being back will be quickly retconned and DDC will be meaningless as said by u/richjohnston in a bleeding cool article.
Well for the last time, DDC is set in the future just before the new timeline by Didio is made into canon, meaning until 5G,the Kents are still dead anyway.

So if they wanted the Kents dead, good news is they still are and won't be back until just before the new timeline comes in (the one that you yourself talked about Mr. Johnston), because as I said in my post, post-DDC, Diana was a JSA member in WWII. Which isn't true yet for the current timeline.
​
Alright. Now for the real problems.
​

I. Apex Lex Luthor

This one is actually pretty easy.
Like I've proven before, Doomsday Clock is ahead of all current continuity books. Including Doom War and Hell Arisen. The latter is book that happens right after the former and has Apex Lex fight none other than The Batman Who Laughs.
Hell Arisen. \"H.A.\"
The first issue, solicits and interviews imply the obvious in this case.
​
\"Batman Wins!\"
Solicits also imply the winner gets to be Perpetua's right hand man.
So if BWL wins, what about Apex Lex? My guess? He's killed so in old fasion Lex's style, he transfers his consciousness onto a clone body like always.
Evidence to why/how he'd do this? Well besides doing it in the 90s, he's also gotten something from the Multiverse in his YOTV special:
DNA Back-Up? Wonder what he needs that for....
So yes, Lex loses, Lex becomes human again, Doomsday Clock happens first, and then he fights in Crisis. Or Death Metal isn't a Crisis and it happens before that. Either way, no problem.
As for him apparently investigating the DC Rebirth mystery, I've proven in Part 2 that JL and YOTV confirms that too.
But no he doesn't necessarily have to care about the Supermen Theory. Not yet anyway.
Speaking of.....

II. The Supermen Theory

So from DDC, we know that the government manufactured some of the metahumans in the country:
​
Supermen Theory
The theory was made by none other than Dr. Helga Jace and confirmed Metas part of it include:

• Metamorpho
• Doc Dread
• Element Girl
• Stingaree
• Lady Clayface
• Man-Bat
• Firestorm (without Ronnie knowing)
• Killer Frost
• Typhoon

Now, Mr. Johnston claims it's never been mentioned or foreshadowed. That isn't true as Tom King did so with Metamorpho in an HiC confessional:
​
He Knows
Of course this is way before the theory is exposed and it hasn't been yet. As I mentioned in Part 1, Gotham City Monsters is very connected to continuity and DDC, yet Lady Clayface is right there with no one trying to ask her about her now shady origins. Same with Man-Bat in JLD.
Why?
Because for the last time. Doomsday Clock is ahead of continuity.
Besides all I've said in Parts 1-2, there's also the fact that there is no mention of the world nearly going into World War III thanks to the Metahuman arms race that erupted and the big battle in Washington.
​
Alright. Now the hard ones.
​

III. Alfred's Death

​
(Before we talk about Alfred, yes I'm aware that general Lane is dead as well in Leviathan. However Bendis has said this will connect to DDC. If ever the general in the book doesn't even have to be him but anyway he could have either faked his death, or he could come back like Alfred who I will now discuss)
​
City of Bane? Sure about that?
So yes. Alfred in Tom King's Batman run died.
However there are rumors that Alfred wasn't supposed to die and King originally intended it to be a fake out but of course some genius at Editorial had the bright idea to milk the publicity of the death with some aftermath issues, annuals and one-shot specials.
King himself said that he didn't want him dead. In "Tec 1017, you can even tell they changed Alfred to Lucius at the last minute as pointed out by u/el_gran_galo .
​
Source: https://www.reddit.com/DCcomics/comments/e9sa5j/comic_excerpt_looks_like_alfred_was_still_in_this/
So, worst case scenario, if they REALLY want Alfred to stay dead, they could pretend that Lucius is the one doing everything Alfred does in DDC.
Fortunately I don't see that happening. Alfred WILL be back.
Tynion has said his Batman run would have a lot of emotional moments and from his first issue, it seems to be rebuilding and strengthening him. What better way to do that then to resurrect Alfred, bring back Dick and give him a yellow oval?
But of course it wouldn't be easy. I bet Alfred will return NOT as himself initially, but as Outsider.
​
Outsider of New 52 Earth 3
The most recent version of Outsider is Alfred of Earth 3, however the original Outsider was non other than Pre-Crisis Alfred who died and was temporarily replaced by Aunt Harriet.
​
The ORIGINAL Outsider
As you can see this isn't even the first time Alfred's died and been temporarily replaced by another bat family member.
Now how will this happen, more on that later.
​

IV. Superman's Identity

This is probably the trickiest, but ironically the simplest.
​
Truth 2.0
Did Bendis finally screw continuity up for real this time?
Maybe. However as I pointed out before Bendis has stated Clark will continue being Superman AND Clark Kent the reporter and says as such in Superman 18.
So if Bendis really wants this to stick, they'll just have to pretend that he could still work in the Planet and wear his usual guise while no one cares. Suspension of disbelief.
This could also tie in to how in DDC, now everyone trusts only Superman and not even Batman, who some are protesting to reveal his identity.
​
But, if ever they need to retcon that out, if they need a special excuse for Alfred (and General Lane) coming back to life, there is one perfect solution to all of this
​

THE SOLUTION: PRIME TIME

In my old post I've pointed out how Superboy Prime was brought up in Doomsday Clock
​
Superbrats out to destroy us
and teased at by Scott Snyder in an AMA in this very subreddit.
https://www.reddit.com/DCcomics/comments/8l3e1j/im_scott_snyder_writer_of_dcmetal_dcnojustice_and/dzcn1yf/?context=3

u/Trafalgar277: Now that the Source Wall is broken, what are the chances of us seeing Superboy Prime? The last time we saw him, he was imprisoned there.
SCOTT: You very well might...

I've also pointed out how much they've been hinting at another Reality Punch:
​
The Award Winning 3 gen Kent Punch. Awesome.
​
Similar Framing?
​
The Infamous Prime Punch
"Well too bad Earthmine. SBP isn't back and there's nothing that shows that he'll return any time soo-
​
Guess who?
"Okay well that might still not happen. A reality punch bringing Alfred back to life as Outsider? Come on. That's like if the last punch brought Jason back to life as Red Hoo...oh"
​
So there you have it. Can't wait for Shazam #13
​

BUT WHAT ABOUT 5G? THREE JOKERS? CRISIS 2020?

I will make another post theorizing on all three and the future of DC comics. It technically isn't a Part 4 since it's not about DDC's canonicity anymore, but it will come.
Thanks for reading.

Alubari: A Nice Cup of Tea – If you’ve played Snowdonia, Alubari feels like the spiritual successor to that game. It takes the skeleton of its predecessor and adds some new configurations that makes the game slightly heavier but not enough to be off putting. This game was heavy on player interaction as you’re constantly trying to find ways to get in the way of your opponents. This is a game that definitely needs repeat plays as a player may have a very bad time if they’re locked out of certain actions due to their unfamiliarity with the game. I was intrigued by this game and was happy to play it, but it didn’t wow me.
Animal Kingdoms – The first of many light games that I was able to demo at PAX, Animal Kingdom is an area majority game that uses the cards in your hand to dictate those majorities. Each section has special rules about placement that adds a slight puzzle to each round but for the most part, players are adding an animal to each section with the hopes of controlling that section. I think this could be a nice game for seven year olds and kids of that age range.
Arraial – A light abstract strategy game, Arraial has players spending action points to take tetris-style pieces and put them on their player board. Orientation and color matter as players try to attract the most visitors to their board. This game was alright. I didn’t hate it nor did I love it. There just wasn’t enough going on each turn for me personally. I did like the rules about orientation and how the market could spin, which changed the orientation for you and other players.
Ausser Rand & Band – This game passed the first test as it had incredible table presence but I was letdown by the gameplay as far too much was taken out of the players hands and the decisions being made by players didn’t really matter. Players will roll two dice on their turn and place them on the areas of the conveyor belt that match the roll. Then they will place a third die on any open action spot that allows them to possibly perform a special action that can impact themselves or other players. After that, they’ll add a new tile to the conveyor belt that pushes the front most tile off the belt, which in turn rolls the dice that are on top of that robot tile. The highest number wins that tile and they can use it to construct their robots. While I’m critical of the game, I’m doing so from the lens of an experienced thirty year old gamer who likes heavier games. I do think this could be a lot of fun for younger players as the randomness creates a fun set of chaos and pushing the conveyor belt is incredibly satisfying.
Bus – This is a game that was a hot topic of discussion the entire weekend. It was the first game we were able to demo and was also on our list to check out. Bus is an incredibly simple and intuitive design that has players creating bus routes over a small city with the objective of getting passengers to their home, their work, or the pub. It uses an action selection system similar to Dominant Species, where all the available actions are available on the right-hand side of the board and once those actions are chosen, players will take those actions in order from top to bottom. Bus is not a simple route-building game though; the game has two catches. The first is that players only have 20 actions over the course of the game and it’s up to them to decide when and how to use them. This means that some players may be done the game before others. The second twist is that one of the actions is the ability to stop time. This is where Bus stands unique against its contemporaries. Each round, passengers will follow a clock that allows passengers to be delivered to one location, in order of home-work-pub, however, if you stop time then they’ll visit the same location again. Delivering passengers is the only way to score points
We played with a full table of 5 and while the game came in well under the suggested time (one hour compared to two hours), I don’t think this stood up well as a five player game. Going last, especially multiple times in a row could really hinder a player as the better action options are taken. We saw this happen in our game and it really soured the experience for that player.
Like other Splotter games, this can be a mean one as you could fully block another player from expanding their routes by getting their first. I had no issues here but it is worth noting. On a second playthrough, the game may also take additional time as players will be more prone to analyze and antagonize over their decisions. I would expect a safe bet of around 90 minutes at most. If you’ve played other Splotter games and enjoyed them, you’ll feel very familiar with the tactical choices offered by Bus.
The game was highly competitive and the ability to stop (or not stop) time hung over each player each round as it directly impacted their ability to score. The board was tight but not too tight that it made expanding difficult. The rules were easy and intuitive and all the difficulty came from the decisions players were making, not from having to interrupt the rules.
My biggest gripe however was the price point. I know Splotter’s operations are smaller and they put out quality products, but I have a hard time justifying a convention pricing of $70 for what was a minimalist game, components wise. I was not sold on the initial play but was intrigued enough about trying Bus at three players that if the price would have been lower, I would have likely purchased a copy to test that theory. This is a Catch-22 however as if you love Bus, you could easily get your worth out of it monetary wise as it offers such depth but that’s a huge pill to swallow if you’re on the fence. This is probably the one game I was able to demo where I stayed on the fence as being able to land on one side or the other.
Calico – Calico had a demo booth and I had the pleasure of playing a few rounds. First off, Calico is adorable. It has a calming theme as players create quilts, add buttons, and attract cats to them. The colors and design helps make the game pop and the designs on the quilt pieces help attract players who have difficulty distinguishing colors. While demoing, it felt like a combination of Patchwork and Azul, with a difficulty level probably closer to Patchwork. The game is probably rewarding enough for experienced abstract players as it offers the ability to really fine-tune optimal play but I think the theme could possibly make this a surprise sleeper hit for 2020 as it can easily draw in non-gamers.
Carrossel – Carrossel has a really unique theme as players are trying to build a carrossel cooperatively while also trying to sell the most tickets from their section. The game plays two- to four-players and I had the unique experience of having a two-player game to my left and a four-player to my right (while we played three-players). I was able to talk with both parties as our groups ran and did other activities (bathrooms breaks and Wild Bill soda, mostly) and my thoughts ran along with theirs. While Carrossel can be played at two- and three-, it may shine best and only at four. This is a family-friendly abstract that can really target optimal playing. Players will place tiles in their section, which is numbered one to twelve (I think). You can only place one carrossel on one tile so placement is paramount as players try to match their placements in front of them to the ride configuration they’re trying to score against. The twist is that like a real merry-go-round, the board rotates each turn so your section is constantly changing and someone may ruin your well laid plans with each action. Due to this, I feel the game is much more luck dependent than skill but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun. This could be a fun way to ease people into the abstract world as the theme really comes alive with the board and components and gameplay. In addition, when players do score, they receive tickets for the riders of those rides and those tickets can be used to achieve special abilities. All in all, a fun little game that I think would be fun for younger players or as a filler for more experienced ones.
Cascadia – Cascadia is a game that will pop up on Kickstarter next year that has players building their forestry to match like animals, which grants them bonuses. This is an abstract game that ties in the forest/animal theme by including different terrain types. We were able to demo this as a two-player game and we thought the decision making was interesting. I’m not entirely sold on it yet as it didn’t offer the depth I wanted but I’m also aware that it was a demo. I will be intrigued to see the full edition of the game when it’s available on Kickstarter and think this would be good for children who are ready to jump into something that has a little bit more meat on the bones than the Sorry!’s and Monopolies of the world.
Cheeky Butts – This is a matching game as players reveal a card and place it in the correct area that matches the animal. There isn’t much else to this game but it would definitely appeal to children and be a good break from other kid games.
Cobra Paw – Cobra Paw is a real-time dexterity game where two to six players will use their cat-like reflexes to try and snatch the tile that matches a dice roll each round. The first player to collect five tiles, wins. The catch is that once you grab a tile, you need to keep a finger on it because if you don’t, someone else may steal that tile from you when it’s rolled. The dice and tiles are incredibly high quality (think Mahjong tiles) and we purchased this for $10 bucks. My SO blindly offered $25 as she was so smitten. This is an incredibly cute, easy to introduce game that is perfect for filler scenarios or to warm-up/wind-down a night.
Crokinole – This is a game I’ve been eyeing for a long time and I was finally able to play it at PAX. As a huge shuffleboard fan but with the size limitations of a row home, Crokinole was calling my name and if not for space limitations due to travel, I may have purchased one of the two boards available at the convention. For those that don’t know, Crokinole involves players flicking disks across the board with the goal of scoring points by having the disks land in the central regions. The twist is that you must hit another players disk with your own in order for your disk to remain on the board. I could have played this for hours.
Don’t Get Got – SU&SD had a fantastic video on this game and it is one that I had my eyes on for our group. The basis is that you are given six scenarios to accomplish involving the other players and this will happen in the background of other activities. Scenarios could be something like “convince another player to say ‘I love you’. If they do it, you mark that task complete. If they call you out on it, you mark it failed. We purchased a copy at the convention and played this in the background Friday night and Saturday. We did two separate rounds and while this game is incredibly group dependent, if you have a group that is into this type of game you will have a hit on your hands. Over the course of two days, we had members of our group get got in the hotel room, in line at the convention center, in a restaurant, as we walked the city, and more. We had one situation where three scenarios occurred in rapid fire as people let their guard down and laughter ensued.
One caveat with this game, besides being group dependent, is also that some of the options will appeal to some groups more than others. For example, one scenario would have had me placing a phone call to someone and saying something specific. For some, this would be easy. For me, not so much. I don’t call people and if I do, they think it’s because something went wrong. Besides that minor piece of the puzzle, we loved Don’t Get Got. This will be a staple of a lot of our activities.
El Dorado: The Golden Temple – I’m a big fan of The Quest for El Dorado and jumped at a chance to see The Golden Temple. The game introduces new cards and terrain types. There’s also a new starting deck that I thought was much more helpful than the base game offered. I did feel like the market cards were much more important in this expansion as if the right cards didn’t appear, it would be a really tough game to slug through. There are torch cards that the demo teacher said wouldn’t mix well with the base game but everything else is compatible. I liked this expansion but it didn’t have that home run hit that the first expansion had.
The Furglars – Another family game, this one involving dice rolling as players try to roll and collect Furglars, which are some kind of creature that can be traded in for bullion, which is the point system for the game. This is a light and quick game that definitely appeals to families and young children. It has a little bit of take-that as players can take Furglars from other players so it could be a nice way to introduce that mechanic as the theme is fun and there isn’t too much riding on the outcome, as opposed to other games where that mechanic is more vindictive. The Furglars themselves are fuzzy green creatures that are on one face of each die. This is cool but it does make me wonder if the weight distribution for rolls is altered in any meaningful way…
Gloom of Thrones – Gloom is a social game that has players building the saddest, most tragic narrative for the family they’re in charge of. This game is heavily dependent on the group playing it and Gloom of Thrones introduces a parody of Game of Thrones (which had its own sad, tragic life). Besides the storytelling aspect of the game, Gloom stands out for its use of transparent cards that let modifiers shine through one another to make easy to read scenarios. The deluxe version was gorgeous and came with card holders and some other amazing components. If you like socially driven games that create a narrative and enjoy the Game of Thrones world (and want to poke fun at it), I would steer people towards Gloom of Thrones. If that setting is not your style, Gloom offers many other options to get your sadness on.
Long Shot: The Dice Game – Long Shot has been on my want list for awhile as I’m a huge horse racing fan (in theory, the recent roided up horse deaths have caused my fandom to wane) and want a game set in that theme. The Dice Game, which is looking to launch on Kickstarter in 2020 will take the original version and make it into a faster roll and write (dry erase was shown at the convention). There were some variations and evolution’s to the betting and economy but it seemed like they were made to streamline the process. As I haven’t had a chance to get my hands on the original, I can’t compare and contrast them.
Mary Engelbreit Loonacy – Loonacy is one of our favorite games and we’re a sucker any time a new edition comes out. This version is definitely the hardest that has been released. The game play doesn’t change (check the earlier link for a run through of that) but the artwork is so seamless and well done that it takes a lot of brain recognition to match the images. This is one that will be added to our collection sooner rather than later as it ups the difficulty tremendously of a simple to teach and play game. I had taken more photos but they came out blurry. Guess 2020 is the year I invest in a camera…
Meeple Party – Meeple Party presented an interesting take on the common cooperative game as players are working together to throw an epic party. The colors are loud and vibrant and like a real party, players need to entertain and interact with their guests to ensure that good times are had by all. This game lives and dies with its theme as the events and possible disasters really create the feel of a high school or college blow out. The first round or two took some getting used to with the phases but it was smooth sailing after that. The game offered little to no downtime once we had an idea of what we were trying to accomplish. The game is modular in house set-up and in difficulty so there is the opportunity to offer a lot of replayability. My only concerns about Meeple Party are that I thought it was a little easy and I’m not sure why you choose to be a certain meeple when you can activate any during a round. It felt like a weird design choice.
Pretending to Grownup – Cards have three sets of resources: time, energy, and money. Players will play a card stating they have the most money or time or energy and then the player to their right will either state that they’re the most “x” or they will stand down. Play will commence until someone stands down. Once that happens, all players that said they’re the most “x” will reveal their card and the highest number wins. First player to claim twelve cards wins the game. This is a cute filler game that offers little strategy or depth to its players. The subject matter is clearly geared to adults (not in a sexual nature but more of a tax one). The art was fun and endearing but not enough to keep this game as something I would want to play again as it fills the role of a filler and there are better fillers available.
Sagrada: The Great Facades – Passions – Passions introduces three new elements to the Sagrada world: Inspiration cards, Rare Glass Dice, and new public objectives. The Inspiration cards give players additional asymmetric powers, the Rare Glass Dice are basically wild dice that can take the place of any other color and it includes additional objectives to be fulfilled, and more public objectives to add to the base game. I’m on the fence about the expansion. I liked the additional objectives but felt like the Inspiration and Rare Glass Dice gave players outs for sub-optimal play, which then hurts players that didn’t make mistakes on their initial placements. It felt similar to the Azul Joker Tiles to me and it changed the base Sagrada in a way that I didn’t enjoy. Maybe a second play would clarify more for me.
The Shivers – I only heard the elevator pitch of The Shivers but I wanted to speak on it as it has a clear oooo and awwww moment as the “board” is a pop-up with areas behind the walls that cards can slot into. This is another role-playing, story driven, social game that won’t be for everyone but is labeled as a children’s game of deduction and problem solving. I believe they’re aiming for a 2020 Kickstarter and I cannot wait to see more from this game. It will make you look twice and that’s something that the hobby needs.
Team3 – This is probably my choice for surprise pick of the convention. This, like Don’t Get Got, will be very group specific and requires at minimum three people to play so it’s very situational but we had a blast with this game. The gist is that the three players need to work cooperatively to build a structure using some large plastic three-dimensional Tetris-esque pieces. The builder closes their eyes and has to listen to their partner use their words to describe what and how to build. The player who is speaking is receiving their cues from the player that has a card that shows the structure they’re trying to build but can only communicate through hand gestures. Games last three minutes and there are several different levels to tackle. I loved this. It was silly and goofy and a game that I would normally never check out in a local game store or on a website. There were two editions: Green and Pink. The different versions each offer unique mini-expansions with the Green version having the builder receiving instructions from two different speakers while using both hands, individually, to create their structures and the Pink edition offers three-dimensional structures. We went with the Green as the Pink was too hard in the moment (not that using your hands individually will be any easier). This could be a really good team builder.
Unmatched: Jurassic Park – InGen vs Raptors – Unmatched seems to be a new miniature fighting game that will have multiple offshoots (in the Jurassic Park universe and elsewhere). There are asymmetrical powers that make both sides unique and each faction will use a specialized deck to dictate their play. The decks are thematic in nature to create a look and feel that resonates with the character they’re portraying. I was suckered in by the Jurassic Park IP but what has peaked my interest is the possibility of mixing and matching sets to have weird matches, such as a T-Rex against Robin Hood or Bigfoot versus Bruce Lee.
Valley of the Vikings – A kid-friendly dexterity game that has players using a kicker to “bowl” a ball into pins as you try and hit barrels that correspond to players walking the plank. When a plank is knocked over, the player moves forward on the plank. When they reach the end, they fall off the plank and are awarded no points for the round. It was a fun and light game that had more strategy than you think as players somewhat control the formation of the barrels and have to think about where to hit as it impacts the scoring for the round. The components were incredibly light so you don’t have to worry about injury if a rogue ball ends up off the table.
War Room – War Room has a table presence in all the ways the other games on this list do not: it’s large. I’m a huge fan of sprawling war games but never get an opportunity to play them as the subject matter doesn’t appeal to my group, it requires a large time commitment, and they’re typically a little complex. I was walked through a mock turn and while it seems like there’s a lot going on with the board layout and the components on the board, it wasn’t too bad. The game, from my short viewing, seems much more strategic than its obvious comparison, Axis and Allies. I felt like there were much more options than the standard opening salvos that A&A offer but that could also be due to the newness of the game shining through to me.
Welcome to… – This roll-and-write has players performing as architects and city planners for a 1950’s Hooverville as the Baby Boom is sweeping across America. I was surprised at this game as there was a lot more strategy going on than I originally suspected. I don’t think this is an overly complex game by any means but it does have a lot of small rules for players to keep in mind. The player sheet does help explain what’s going on but really that’s only helpful for the second game and beyond as I felt the symbols were not well known by our new players when we began. I think this is on a similar level to Welcome to Dino World in terms of complexity. The basis of the game is that three cards are revealed each round. Those cards offer a type of development for the neighborhood and are tied to the deck they were drawn from. That deck, still face down, has house numbers on the cards that match to the development that was just revealed. So if players want to place that pool, they need to use that house number when doing so. Just like real life however, players can only place one of each house number per street. Like other roll-and-write games, this one is pretty much simultaneous solitaire. I have no issue with that but it’s worth knowing as there’s no interaction between players besides who can score the objective goals each game. I really liked Welcome to… and fully expect to add it to our collection in 2020.
Yummy Yummy Pancake – This is a child’s dexterity/memorization game that is less concentration and more abstract randomness. In the pan goes several different pancakes and on a players turn, they flip them. This is not easy. I sent every pancake sprawling across the convention floor. I was so embarrassed. Anyways, when three or more pancakes flip over, players will take turns guessing what those face-down pancakes are. That’s pretty much it. The novelty of the pancakes and pan are cute and I could see this being fun with some younger children.
Originally posted on Two off the Top with photos.