What can you do as an MRA?

Can other people with less obvious MRA accounts like me i.e. more normal looking accounts, post stuff (this is a general comment, not just for this thread) post this on more mainstream threads e.g. Finland sub, sociology, etc.... MAKE SURE you are polite, factual, avoid emotive language, avoid talking about feminism, and post high quality stuff
Comment here particular quotes, passages, excerpts that are relevant. Especially since its such a long document, this will be useful for all of us.
You can make these excerpts into separate threads if worthy.
Share this on social media? (set up an anon MRA twitter, Facebook etc... MRA is thriving on social media. It is good as its a lot more activism based)
If you live in Finland, send some emails to journalists (you can search journalists who have already discussed mens issues), and send some to politicians etc. You can easily write one letter and send it to multiple people. Maybe the individual excerpts/issues you find would be better to send (and then you could also add the whole document summary as an addendum for reference for the reader) - Finland is a small country, I dont think many users will be from there here.
NOTE: It is good that these issues are being increasingly recognised, and more people are doing this as projects in academia. This is only growing and snowballing as more people are red pilled. Look up Male Psychology Network, they are doing fantastic work, growing and have presented an ALTERNATIVE to patriarchy conspiracy theory and are working to dismantle the idea in academia. https://youtu.be/LHYRYKCIDxk?t=591

Main Body - Here it is:

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of Discrimination Against Men: Appearance and Causes in the Context of a Modern Welfare State, a 2009 doctoral dissertation by Pasi Malmi (University of Lapland) that provides an impressively detailed and balanced investigation of discrimination against men in Finland (the theory and results actually give almost as much detail on discrimination against women, although men will be the focus here).
Chapters 5 to 8 are the most important. Chapter 5 explains six biases that cause gender discrimination, chapter 6 delineates the patriarchal and matriarchal subsystems of Finnish society, chapter 7 examines the various discourses that justify discrimination against men, and chapter 8 analyzes a database of gender discrimination complaints made to the Finnish gender equality ombudsman, a third of which were made by men.
(Length: 1,800 words.)
Chapters 1 to 4 (introductory/background chapters)
Chapter 1 situates the perspective taken by the dissertation within gender studies. It rejects anti-feminist and anti-women perspectives, and the glorification of traditional masculinity and gender roles (e.g., the mythopoetic men’s movement). But it also rejects the “critical studies of men” paradigm, which sees men as the main causes of men’s and women’s problems, refuses to criticize feminism or women, and does not believe that discrimination against white, heterosexual, middle-class men exists (pp. 20–21).
Chapter 2 defines various relevant concepts, and explains that the findings from Finland are intended to be relevant primarily for the Northern European welfare states, and secondarily for other European and Anglo-American countries (pp. 32–34).
Chapter 3 gives a brief overview of current or traditional viewpoints on what causes direct or indirect discrimination or mistreatment of men: gender roles, hegemonic masculinity, industrial capitalism, feminism (specifically gender feminism and victimization feminism), and exploitative women (pp. 36-44).
Chapter 4 develops a theory of sociocultural evolution, which says that ideas that are simple, exaggerated, and coherent with popular paradigms generally win out over their rivals, regardless of whether they are true or backed up by evidence. This happens due to functional selection (p. 57), unintentional biases (p. 63), and interest group bias (p. 71), among other factors (see summary, p. 115).
Chapter 5: Applying the Theory to Gender Discrimination (p. 118)
This chapter develops a general theory of gender discrimination, centered on a typology of six different biases that cause gender discrimination (p. 127).
The masculine bias and feminine bias are unintentional gender biases caused by the processes that simplify, exaggerate, and mutate people’s mental memes or ideas according to their gender (p. 127). For example, a person’s conception of domestic work or childcare will be centered on their own experiences or contributions, which are partly determined by their gender, and so they will often downplay/exclude the other gender’s contributions (e.g., yardwork vs. housework) (pp. 135–138). As a result of these biases, segregated groups and networks of men or women tend to have a masculine-biased or feminine-biased culture of values, priorities, concepts, words, stories, jokes, stereotypes and beliefs that can lead to practices that discriminate against the other gender (p. 120). For example, a group of female social workers might decide that women are better custodians of children and default to recommending custody to them (pp. 141–142).
The masculist bias and feminist bias come from interest groups, networks, or movements seeking to advance the status of men or women, respectively. Masculism and feminism have sexist and anti-sexist branches (p. 143). The modern sexist branch of feminism includes theories like feminist standpoint epistemology (which gives special status to women’s feelings and intuitions) and the feminist theory of social work (interests of women and children are synonymous, social workers should identify with their female customers). It also includes stereotypes that women are unselfish, peaceful, responsible, loving, hard working, while men are the opposite (pp. 149–152). The anti-sexist branch of feminism by definition is less hostile towards men as people, but it is not necessarily able or willing to accept men’s issues: “[i]n general, the idea of the discrimination of men is perceived as bizarre by feminists” (pp. 155–158). The sexist branch of masculism is discussed primarily in the context of religion (pp. 144–129). The anti-sexist branch of masculism has little power, although it is discussed as sometimes being the source of biased statistics downplaying women’s issues (pp. 152–155).
The alpha male bias and alpha female bias are the biases of high status (wealthy, powerful, attractive, etc.) members of each gender against low status members of their gender. They are particularly apparent in high status men’s bias against male criminals (male judges giving harsher treatment, including sentences, to them compared to women) and high status women’s bias against female prostitutes (pp. 170–173).
A central point of this dissertation is that male-dominated and female-dominated organizations (the patriarchal and matriarchal subsystems) are prone to predominantly discriminate against the other gender, but it’s important to clarify that they’re not guaranteed to do so. The masculine and feminine biases (the unintentional “own gender” biases) are just two of the six biases. An organization could be more influenced by the ideological biases (masculist and feminist biases) or the biases against low social status people of each gender (alpha male and alpha female biases).
Chapter 6: Locating the Patriarchal and Matriarchal Subsystems of the Finnish Society (p. 188)
This chapter identifies Finnish society’s patriarchal and matriarchal subsystems by looking at various measures of power, including raw numbers, managerial positions, control of knowledge, and informal positions of power (p. 222).

Patriarchal subsystem: technology, commerce, state finances, defense, agriculture, transportation, trade, corporative labor and employer organizations.
Matriarchal subsystem: healthcare, social services, social policy, equality policy, hotels, restaurants, and some cultural services.

Not all areas of Finnish society fall into one of these subsystems.
Chapter 7: An Empirical Examination of the Memeplexes, Discourses and Coalitions that Induce Discrimination against Men (p. 224)
This chapter analyzes the discourses that justify discrimination against men, coming from sources that include sexism and feminism.
Sexism: The development of the modern misandric versions of sexism is examined, including 19th century views of men as “barbarians whose urges had to be leashed in by the forces of decency—meaning women—if civilization were to survive” (p. 233), which it attributes to the joint interests of women and upper class men. Notions of chivalry and macho masculinity also lead to institutionalized belief systems where men’s comfort, health, and even lives are considered less important than women’s (p. 238). Macho masculinity, with its aversion to men “complaining”, tends to oppose talking about men’s issues or seeing them as relevant for gender equality (p. 306).
Feminism: Certain influential varieties of feminism see women as the disadvantaged and discriminated gender (p. 247). Thus the sole purpose of equality policy is women’s advancement (p. 256) and men are largely reduced to the role of defendant (p. 270). When faced with cases requiring a choice between promotion of equality and empowerment of women, many feminists reacted by rejecting equality as outdated or as a smokescreen for promoting men’s interests over women. Under these discourses, “the empowerment of women is more important than the advancement of gender equality in all contexts, including the matriarchal subsystem of the society” (pp. 259–260). That would apply even to women’s advantage in family courts and criminal courts (p. 305).
Also mentioned is a combination (and mutation) of difference feminism and equality feminism which says that “women are superior to men in many ways, but men are not superior to women in any ways” (p. 296)—which means that when men are ahead it’s because of sexism, but when women are ahead it is legitimate and natural.
The groups and alliances that justify misandry and discrimination against men (p. 334):
📷
Chapter 8: Gender Discrimination, According to the Complaints Sent to the Finnish Equality Ombudsman (p. 346)
Complaints: This chapter analyzes 800 complaints of gender discrimination made between 1997 and 2004 and sent to the Finnish equality ombudsman (p. 348). Men were 33% of victims, according to the author’s suggestion for the best measure of actual discrimination in these cases (outcome types 3–5, p. 356). Labour market discrimination, the largest category, primarily involved women (76%), while the second largest category, discrimination against customers, primarily involved men (~60%).
Another category, discriminative legislation, primarily involved men (77%). Few complaints were made, but due to active conscription policies (lasting 5-12 months), almost all men in Finland are affected by discriminative legislation. The author classifies these complaints as discrimination, although the equality ombudsman does not, “as the Finnish equality law is not applicable to men’s obligatory military service” (p. 354).
Bias: Per chapter 6, equality policy itself is in the matriarchal subsystem of equality (e.g., 90% of employees in the equality ombudsman office are female, p. 354). The ombudsman has a policy not to comment on complaints involving custody and divorce, purportedly to not interfere with the court system, but the author suggests that it stems from a bias against men, perhaps due to prioritizing women’s status over equality or wanting to avoid a flood of complaints from men (p. 354). This is made more explicit by another comment from the ombudsman’s office saying that it is not taking action on certain cases of discrimination against men because “the main purpose of the equality law is to improve women’s status especially in the labor market”, suggesting that the law should be applied more strictly to cases of discrimination against women (p. 381).
Patriarchal & matriarchal subsystems: 57% of discrimination cases in the matriarchal subsystem of society (as defined in chapter 6) were against men, compared to 31% in neutral domains, and 17% in the patriarchal subsystem of society (p. 358).
Discrimination examples: Many cases of discrimination against women (e.g., a workplace that only required women to do extra cleaning tasks on top of their regular duties) are recounted on the same pages but we’ll look at men here.

In the labour market: At a mental hospital, only men were appointed to night shifts (p. 374). At a school, preference was given to hiring female teachers even though men are the “underrepresented” gender (p. 376). Many traditionally feminine jobs excluded men in their recruitment material (p. 377). A workplace allowed women to wear more casual and comfortable clothing than men (p. 377).
As customers: Favourable pricing for women in boat cruises, discotheques & dancing places, dating services, gymnastics, a theatre, restaurants, horse races, and car insurance (pp. 380–382). Also more strict clothing standards for men at a casino, higher minimum ages for men to enter restaurants, and an apartment that only allowed women (pp. 382–383).
Government administration: Subsidy for women’s osteoporosis medicines but not men’s (from pension fund), free public screening for breast cancer but not prostate cancer, higher retirement age for men (which has been changed) (pp. 387–389).
Legislation: Men’s complaints were all about the obligatory military or civil service of six to thirteen months (those who refuse get six months in prison, p. 390).

Likely motives: Two alternative rating methods (tables 52 and 53) find that either (certain) feminist ideas are the most common motivators of discrimination against men, or sexism and the feminine bias are the most common motivators (feminine bias meaning unintentional gender bias of groups of women, counterpart to masculine bias of groups of men). Financial motives were also frequent (pp. 401-402).
SOURCE: https://becauseits2015.wordpress.com/2017/10/22/comprehensive-research-on-discrimination-against-men-in-finland/

An Excellent comprehensive PHD Research on Discrimination Against Men in Finland (applicable elsewhere of course). See This post for summary

https://becauseits2015.wordpress.com/2017/10/22/comprehensive-research-on-discrimination-against-men-in-finland/
This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of Discrimination Against Men: Appearance and Causes in the Context of a Modern Welfare State, a 2009 doctoral dissertation by Pasi Malmi (University of Lapland) that provides an impressively detailed and balanced investigation of discrimination against men in Finland (the theory and results actually give almost as much detail on discrimination against women, although men will be the focus here).
Chapters 5 to 8 are the most important. Chapter 5 explains six biases that cause gender discrimination, chapter 6 delineates the patriarchal and matriarchal subsystems of Finnish society, chapter 7 examines the various discourses that justify discrimination against men, and chapter 8 analyzes a database of gender discrimination complaints made to the Finnish gender equality ombudsman, a third of which were made by men.
(Length: 1,800 words.)
Chapters 1 to 4 (introductory/background chapters)
Chapter 1 situates the perspective taken by the dissertation within gender studies. It rejects anti-feminist and anti-women perspectives, and the glorification of traditional masculinity and gender roles (e.g., the mythopoetic men’s movement). But it also rejects the “critical studies of men” paradigm, which sees men as the main causes of men’s and women’s problems, refuses to criticize feminism or women, and does not believe that discrimination against white, heterosexual, middle-class men exists (pp. 20–21).
Chapter 2 defines various relevant concepts, and explains that the findings from Finland are intended to be relevant primarily for the Northern European welfare states, and secondarily for other European and Anglo-American countries (pp. 32–34).
Chapter 3 gives a brief overview of current or traditional viewpoints on what causes direct or indirect discrimination or mistreatment of men: gender roles, hegemonic masculinity, industrial capitalism, feminism (specifically gender feminism and victimization feminism), and exploitative women (pp. 36-44).
Chapter 4 develops a theory of sociocultural evolution, which says that ideas that are simple, exaggerated, and coherent with popular paradigms generally win out over their rivals, regardless of whether they are true or backed up by evidence. This happens due to functional selection (p. 57), unintentional biases (p. 63), and interest group bias (p. 71), among other factors (see summary, p. 115).
Chapter 5: Applying the Theory to Gender Discrimination (p. 118)
This chapter develops a general theory of gender discrimination, centered on a typology of six different biases that cause gender discrimination (p. 127).
The masculine bias and feminine bias are unintentional gender biases caused by the processes that simplify, exaggerate, and mutate people’s mental memes or ideas according to their gender (p. 127). For example, a person’s conception of domestic work or childcare will be centered on their own experiences or contributions, which are partly determined by their gender, and so they will often downplay/exclude the other gender’s contributions (e.g., yardwork vs. housework) (pp. 135–138). As a result of these biases, segregated groups and networks of men or women tend to have a masculine-biased or feminine-biased culture of values, priorities, concepts, words, stories, jokes, stereotypes and beliefs that can lead to practices that discriminate against the other gender (p. 120). For example, a group of female social workers might decide that women are better custodians of children and default to recommending custody to them (pp. 141–142).
The masculist bias and feminist bias come from interest groups, networks, or movements seeking to advance the status of men or women, respectively. Masculism and feminism have sexist and anti-sexist branches (p. 143). The modern sexist branch of feminism includes theories like feminist standpoint epistemology (which gives special status to women’s feelings and intuitions) and the feminist theory of social work (interests of women and children are synonymous, social workers should identify with their female customers). It also includes stereotypes that women are unselfish, peaceful, responsible, loving, hard working, while men are the opposite (pp. 149–152). The anti-sexist branch of feminism by definition is less hostile towards men as people, but it is not necessarily able or willing to accept men’s issues: “[i]n general, the idea of the discrimination of men is perceived as bizarre by feminists” (pp. 155–158). The sexist branch of masculism is discussed primarily in the context of religion (pp. 144–129). The anti-sexist branch of masculism has little power, although it is discussed as sometimes being the source of biased statistics downplaying women’s issues (pp. 152–155).
The alpha male bias and alpha female bias are the biases of high status (wealthy, powerful, attractive, etc.) members of each gender against low status members of their gender. They are particularly apparent in high status men’s bias against male criminals (male judges giving harsher treatment, including sentences, to them compared to women) and high status women’s bias against female prostitutes (pp. 170–173).
A central point of this dissertation is that male-dominated and female-dominated organizations (the patriarchal and matriarchal subsystems) are prone to predominantly discriminate against the other gender, but it’s important to clarify that they’re not guaranteed to do so. The masculine and feminine biases (the unintentional “own gender” biases) are just two of the six biases. An organization could be more influenced by the ideological biases (masculist and feminist biases) or the biases against low social status people of each gender (alpha male and alpha female biases).
Chapter 6: Locating the Patriarchal and Matriarchal Subsystems of the Finnish Society (p. 188)
This chapter identifies Finnish society’s patriarchal and matriarchal subsystems by looking at various measures of power, including raw numbers, managerial positions, control of knowledge, and informal positions of power (p. 222).

Patriarchal subsystem: technology, commerce, state finances, defense, agriculture, transportation, trade, corporative labor and employer organizations.
Matriarchal subsystem: healthcare, social services, social policy, equality policy, hotels, restaurants, and some cultural services.

In the labour market: At a mental hospital, only men were appointed to night shifts (p. 374). At a school, preference was given to hiring female teachers even though men are the “underrepresented” gender (p. 376). Many traditionally feminine jobs excluded men in their recruitment material (p. 377). A workplace allowed women to wear more casual and comfortable clothing than men (p. 377).
As customers: Favourable pricing for women in boat cruises, discotheques & dancing places, dating services, gymnastics, a theatre, restaurants, horse races, and car insurance (pp. 380–382). Also more strict clothing standards for men at a casino, higher minimum ages for men to enter restaurants, and an apartment that only allowed women (pp. 382–383).
Government administration: Subsidy for women’s osteoporosis medicines but not men’s (from pension fund), free public screening for breast cancer but not prostate cancer, higher retirement age for men (which has been changed) (pp. 387–389).
Legislation: Men’s complaints were all about the obligatory military or civil service of six to thirteen months (those who refuse get six months in prison, p. 390).

An Excellent comprehensive PHD Research on Discrimination Against Men in Finland (applicable elsewhere of course). See This post for summary

Patriarchal subsystem: technology, commerce, state finances, defense, agriculture, transportation, trade, corporative labor and employer organizations.
Matriarchal subsystem: healthcare, social services, social policy, equality policy, hotels, restaurants, and some cultural services.

In the labour market: At a mental hospital, only men were appointed to night shifts (p. 374). At a school, preference was given to hiring female teachers even though men are the “underrepresented” gender (p. 376). Many traditionally feminine jobs excluded men in their recruitment material (p. 377). A workplace allowed women to wear more casual and comfortable clothing than men (p. 377).
As customers: Favourable pricing for women in boat cruises, discotheques & dancing places, dating services, gymnastics, a theatre, restaurants, horse races, and car insurance (pp. 380–382). Also more strict clothing standards for men at a casino, higher minimum ages for men to enter restaurants, and an apartment that only allowed women (pp. 382–383).
Government administration: Subsidy for women’s osteoporosis medicines but not men’s (from pension fund), free public screening for breast cancer but not prostate cancer, higher retirement age for men (which has been changed) (pp. 387–389).
Legislation: Men’s complaints were all about the obligatory military or civil service of six to thirteen months (those who refuse get six months in prison, p. 390).

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On Mondays, you will receive a 50% match bonus using the bonus code “50MOBILE” and you are only allowed to play slot games on your mobile phone. On Tuesdays, you will receive a 60% match bonus using the bonus code “KENO60” and you must clear this bonus using the game Keno 101. On Wednesdays, the match bonus is set at 75% and you have to clear the bonus using oldies slot games such as Booster, Golden 8, Lucky Ducts, and Lucky Stars. For Thursdays, the match bonus will be 40% if you use the bonus code “VPOKER” which can only be cleared using video poker games. Lastly, Fridays will reward you will a 50% match bonus that can be cleared using any slot game of Keno game.

Weekly Free Draw

For every dollar you deposit during any given week, you will be rewarded with one raffle ticket into the weekly free draw. Each Wednesday, a total of 20 players will be chosen to receive prizes and you will have to check your email to see if you won. The first place prize is an impressive $500 while 2nd through 10th place will receive $100 and 11th through 20th place will receive $10. If you are a winner, you will be required to wager your prize 1x before you can withdraw any of the money.
>> Claim Free Chip Bonuses <<

Bonus Terms and Conditions at Slotland

Each bonus promotion on Slotland comes with a different playthrough requirement which is specified on the webpage that is dedicated to that specific promotion. These playthrough requirements appear to range anywhere from 1X to 18X, which is EXTREMELY easy compared to other casinos. In fact, this might be the easiest playthrough requirements that we have ever seen since most casinos set their requirements between 30x and 60x. There also appears to be a very lenient timeframe in which you have to complete these requirements since 90 days is more time than most casinos will give you.
However, just like on most other online casinos, not every game will contribute equally towards clearing the playthrough requirements for each bonus. In fact, the only type of game which will count 100% of your wagers are slot games. Keno will contribute 50% of your bets towards the wagering requirements, video poker games will contribute 20%, and roulette games will contribute 1%.
One strange clause in these terms and conditions that we have not seen before is that any players from the countries of Argentina, Azerbaijan, Bangladesh, Brazil, Hungary, Poland, Romania, South Africa, Tanzania or the United Kingdom will have playthrough requirements that are 5x as hard as normal. For example, if the playthrough requirement for a specific bonus is originally 10x, players from these countries will need to wager 50x their bonus amount before they withdraw funds.

Customer Support at Slotland

Customer Support Options: Email, Live Chat
There are two ways to contact the customer support team at Slotland and the only key ingredient they seem to be missing is a telephone contact method. However, the Live Chat feature works INSTANTLY whenever the Live Chat button is yellow and says “Live Support Online”. Despite the fact that they advertise 24/7 customer service, this button is sometimes grey and says “Live Support Offline”, so you will need to use email in those instances.
Speaking of email, there are numerous email addresses that you can use to contact them and you will normally receive a response in under an hour which is relatively fast for this method. The email address that you choose to contact will be decided by the issue that you need to speak to them about. For general inquiries, you can contact them at [email protected]. For billing inquiries, you can contact them at [email protected]. Finally, any VIP players will be permitted to contact them at [email protected] which has a quicker response time guaranteed.

Deposit and Withdrawals at Slotland

Minimum Deposit: $25 Maximum Deposit: $100 ($250 after your first three deposits) Deposit Methods: Bitcoin, Litecoin, Bitcoin Cash, Visa, Mastercard, Skrill, Neteller Withdrawal Methods: Bitcoin, Litecoin, Bitcoin Cash, Check, Wire Transfer, Skrill, Neteller
If you are a cryptocurrency enthusiast, then you will truly appreciate the fact that Slotland accepts three different forms of this digital currency. While it is normal to see Bitcoin on the list of deposit options for an online casino these days it is equally abnormal to find sites that accept Litecoin or Bitcoin Cash.
All deposit methods will be completed instantly and free of charge. They also have the exact same minimum and maximum limits. The only real difference between the cryptocurrency methods, e-wallet methods, and the bank card methods is that your bank might charge an international transaction fee of up to 10% if necessary since all transactions are processed in U.S. dollars.
If you plan on taking advantage of any of the deposit bonuses that we listed in the promotions section above, you will need to enter your bonus code BEFORE making a deposit. You can do this by clicking on the “Bonus Code” option on the side menu once you access your account cashier.
Once you are ready to withdraw the funds that are in your Slotland account there is a total of seven methods that you can choose from. Each of the methods that are available to players from the U.S. comes with a minimum withdrawal limit of $100, which is a little high considering the fact that the minimum deposit is $25. Players from other countries will be able to withdraw a minimum of $25 by using Neteller or Skrill.
When you choose Bitcoin, Litecoin, or Bitcoin Cash as your withdrawal option, your transaction will be processed the very next business day. This is much faster than the check or wire transfer withdrawal methods which will take 5-10 days to process and receive. Therefore, we recommend using one of Slotland’s supported cryptocurrencies so that you can take advantage of the high level of efficiency that these three coins offer. On the other hand, players from other countries will be able to take advantage of the 24 to 48-hour processing times of Skrill and Neteller.
In the event that you have a lucky day and win more than $5,000, you will need to make special arrangements to withdraw your money in increments. The best way to do this is to email them at [email protected] and they will work with you to figure out a payment plan.
>> Claim Free Chip Bonuses <<

Unpopular Opinion: Webull Customer Service is OK

It's not great. It's not good. But it's probably OK. Why? Mainly because they are basically an infant. A two-year-old, relatively small company, undergoing all of the pressures that come with massive expansion. They are literally still a startup company -- completing their most recent Series B in 2019 (only $84.7M USD raised in total)
Meanwhile, Webull is winning crazy numbers of new customers by offering a superior product ... for free. And it seems they cannot catch a break. For those who are upset and thinking about moving, here is my experience with different brokerages that may offer you some perspective.

Ally Invest - I opened my Webull account two weeks ago transferring from Ally Invest. Formerly known as TradeKing, they were acquired for $275M USD by an $8B company. The product was absolutely horrific with frequent outages and $0.50 options contract fees (not free). How was this well-funded organization's customer service? Well, Ally has a customer service phone line, but it routinely had 2-3 hour wait times. Ally also has a chat feature that regularly takes about 1-2 hours to get an agent.
Robinhood - I've still got my Robinhood account. They have been around for 4 more years that Webull and have raised over $900M USD (10x Webull). The platform is completely free, but lacks any advanced features. The product is not even in the same league as Webull. I've had to contact Robinhood customer service a few times by the only way available, email, and the response time was always 24-36 hours.
TD Ameritrade - My IRA and Roth IRA are here and I'm a big fan of their world-class Thinkorswim software for PC. You would expect this industry-leading, $22B financial institution to have excellent customer service, right? Well, it does! During market hours, it typically takes about 30-45 minutes to reach someone by phone or about 10 minutes to get an agent by chat. What is the downside? Their mobile versions of Thinkorswim only wishes it could be half as good as the Webull app. It is clunky and missing all of the tools that make the PC version great. Additionally, TD Ameritrade is not free for options traders like me ($0.65 per contract). I've emailed customer service about their fees and they actually responded saying that they would consider lowering them if I brought over my assets from Webull. When I said, "Can you match Webull and Robinhood at $0 options contract fees?" They said, and I quote, "We are not able to do $0 per contract options. We do have overhead expenses such as maintaining our Think or Swim Software as well as 24 hour customer support which we do have to maintain. We do feel that we offer a high value of service for our commission structure. It may be possible to go to a lower commission, but unfortunately, we are not able to do the $0 commissions on options. Please let us know if you may be willing to do a lower commission fee than what we have now"
Webull - Again, BY FAR, the best mobile platform on the market. They also have the same types of overhead mentioned by the TD Ameritrade agent to support the software and customer service, but their product is both superior and FREE. Since joining Webull two weeks ago, I've contacted customer service about a dozen times -- mostly over small stuff like cost basis, promotional stock, etc. I've found the in-app messaging to be the most effective with response times ranging from 2 to 24 hours and the email method typically taking 1 to 3 days to receive a response. Is this great? No. Is it good? Probably not. Is it OK? Most definitely. For the quality of the product and the cost (zero) -- you cannot beat it. I'm willing to be patient as the company gets its legs under it and learns how to walk before it runs.

Bonus One: I've got a theory about response times too. It seems like most of the complaints on Reddit have been regarding free stock, fund settlement, and clearing firm (APEX) issues. Webull started as a tech company, not a financial company. They actually pivoted to become a brokerage. I'm guessing they have a customer service algorithm that actually sorts the customer service requests they receive by importance and by actionability. The three complaints I mentioned early are, in all honesty, low priority issues and not actionable -- they simply require patience. With that being the case these probably get batched together and given secondary treatment.
Bonus Two: My second theory is more of a pseudo conspiracy theory. It sounds like most of the complaints on Reddit are coming from, let's say, smaller accounts (i.e. people who actually care about one share of a random free $12 stock). My account is not huge, but it is in the high five-figures. There is a non-zero possibility that accounts with only a few hundred or a few thousand dollars in them have their complaints treated as "second-class" while their customer service department resources are still limited. I mean think about it -- there are real people that have to take time to respond. When you are gaining 50,000-100,000 new customers each month and you have to TRY to keep each one of these individuals happy, you simply have to put some type of class system in place -- just like airlines, hotels, casinos, and other business with customer "tiers".
In summary, it is your money and you should invest it where you feel you are treated right. However, some old maxims are true in that sometimes "the grass is always greener on the other side" and "you get what you pay for". With Webull, you get a superior product that costs you absolutely nothing. Have a little patience and some empathy for the company as they grow and continue to offer things like free stock, raffles, and free weekly paper trading competitions with Amazon gift card prizes.
And, no, I'm not affiliated with Webull in any way. In fact, I'm kinda pissed at them right now for how they processed a reverse split on one of my holdings. But, I'm genuinely impressed with their technology and I'm -- let's use the word -- "satisfied" with the level of customer service I have received in my two weeks as a customer.
Happy trading!

Lost in the Sauce: March 8 - 14

Welcome to Lost in the Sauce, keeping you caught up on political and legal news that often gets buried in distractions and theater. House-keeping:

How to read: Since the coronavirus was the one big story last week, I’m going to do away with the “Main Course” division this week - these are all “sides” in the sense that I have a feeling many people missed these developments.
How to support: If you enjoy my work, please consider becoming a patron. I do this to keep track and will never hide behind a paywall, but these projects take a lot of time and effort to create. Even a couple of dollars a month helps. Since someone asked a few weeks ago (thank you!), here's a PayPal option
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Let’s dig in!
Since the coronavirus was the one big story last week, I’m going to do away with the “Main Course” division this week - these are all “sides” in the sense that I have a feeling many people missed these developments.

Biden-probe subpoena

Senate Homeland Security Committee Chairman Ron Johnson (R-WI) canceled a planned vote to issue a subpoena in its investigation into Hunter Biden and his work in Ukraine. Johnson informed the committee that instead of subpoenaing former consultant Andrii Telizhenko, he will issue a subpoena to the Democratic public relations firm he worked for: Blue Star Strategies.
Although Johnson said the subpoena vote was canceled to give senators time to “receive additional briefings,” a Ukrainian source (Chief editor of The Odessa Review Vladislav Davidzon) told CNN that the subject of the subpoena, Telizhenko, offered him cash to lobby Republican politicians to speak out against Ukraine’s anti-corruption efforts - specifically Ukrainian lawmaker’s attempts to censure two media networks for “broadcasting Russian propaganda.”

In October 2018, the same month that lawmakers voted in favor of a resolution to sanction the two stations, Telizhenko wrote to Davidzon, asking: "Have a question do you or your father have contacts with US Senators? I really need a favour for witch (sic) I can pay up to 5k."
...After expressing concerns about how the new Ukrainian proposals could shut the broadcasters down, Telizhenko then says: “My question is is it possible to get an official comment on a Senators (Rand Paul, Lindsey Graham for example) website next week about this situation of censorship in Ukraine? Really important for me and need fast.”

Ranking member on the committee, Sen. Gary Peters, opposed subpoenaing Telizhenko because he warned that the investigation could be tainted by Russian disinformation. The revelation that Telizhenko has indeed worked for Russian interests seems to substantiate his concerns.

Sen. Murphy’s strategy: Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT) formally requested the inspectors general for the State Department, the Treasury Department, the Department of Homeland Security, and the National Archives investigate whether those agencies are selectively cooperating with Republican-led efforts to “investigate” Joe and Hunter Biden — while refusing cooperation with Democratic oversight efforts directed at Trump.

Politicizing intelligence

The Office of the Director of National Intelligence provided its first briefing to Congress since the previous DNI, Joseph Maguire, was fired by Trump for allowing his aide to tell Congress that Russia was acting to boost his re-election chances. The current acting-DNI, Ric Grenell, backed out of briefing Congress himself, reportedly because he did not want to discuss issues that make President Trump angry. Instead, his office was represented by William Evanina, the top counterintelligence official at the ODNI.
The latest briefing provided information contradictory to Maguire’s briefing, confusing and frustrating House members. Grenell’s office told Congress that the Kremlin is not “directly aiding any candidate’s re-election or any other candidates’ election.” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer reportedly confronted the ODNI officials, accusing them of politicizing critical intelligence and providing insufficient and contradictory information about Russia’s interference.

Russia ramps up interference

While the Trump administration continues to hide and spin intelligence, the media reports that Russia continues to interfere in the U.S. political system. According to seven current officials, the Kremlin is increasing efforts to inflame racial tensions in America as part of its ongoing operation to influence the November elections.

...Now, Russia is also trying to influence white supremacist groups, the officials said; they gave few details, but one official said federal investigators are examining how at least one neo-Nazi organization with ties to Russia is funded. Other Russian efforts, which American intelligence agencies have tracked, involve simply prodding white nationalists to more aggressively spread hate messages and amplifying their invective. Russian operatives are also trying to push black extremist groups toward violence...

Last week, Facebook and Twitter announced they had discovered a Russian-led network of professional trolls outsourced to operatives in Ghana and Nigeria. The network’s 71 Twitter accounts, 49 Facebook accounts, and 85 Instagram accounts were removed.

“These 71 removed accounts, operating out of Ghana and Nigeria and which we can reliably associate with Russia, attempted to sow discord by engaging in conversations about social issues, like race and civil rights,” said Twitter’s safety team in a statement.

Senate Democrats, including Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, sent a letter requesting that the EU introduce additional sanctions against “Putin’s Chef” Yevgeny Prighozin to deter him and the Kremlin from interfering in elections this year.

“As the presidential election in the United States draws closer, our concerns about foreign interference have intensified...The U.S. and European Union should be unified in facing this common threat and take concrete measures to isolate this malign actor and his affiliated firms. This includes sanctions, but also a joint diplomatic approach to urge that countries avoid engaging with Mr. Prigozhin, Wagner and any other organization associated with him."

Purge continues

Acting-DNI Ric Grenell imposed a hiring freeze at the ODNI starting last week, ordering a review of the agency’s personnel and mission:

Some current and former officials said they saw the effort as an attempt to oust intelligence officers who disagreed politically with Mr. Trump. Those officials questioned why Mr. Grenell, in the job temporarily, would undertake a large-scale reorganization, particularly one that previous directors had considered but put aside…Kashyap Patel, an aide in the director’s office who was transferred last month from the White House [and former aide to Representative Devin Nunes], is involved in the review…

The White House is also holding up the nomination of Kathryn Wheelbarger for one of the Pentagon’s top intelligence jobs because she is not considered sufficiently loyal to Trump. Wheelbarger, who has been serving as acting assistant secretary of Defense for international security affairs since November 2018, is nominated to become the deputy undersecretary of Defense for intelligence.

The post that Wheelbarger would fill is one of 21 senior positions at the Pentagon that are empty or filled on a temporary basis, a record high for the Trump administration.

In the middle of a global pandemic, one of the lead response agencies is losing its chief: Mark Green is set to resign from the U.S. Agency for International Development at the end of the month. Green will be replaced by USAID Deputy Administrator Bonnie Glick, a Trump loyalist.

FEC nominee confirmation

Last Tuesday, the Senate held a confirmation hearing for Trump’s nominee to the Federal Election Commission, James “Trey” Trainor. It’s been over two years since Trainor was first nominated to fill the seat left empty by Republican Commissioner Lee Goodman in 2018. Then, last year, the commission’s vice chairman, Matthew Petersen, resigned, leaving only three members in place. The FEC needs a minimum of four members to take actions like investigating campaign finance violations, enforcing rules, and issuing fines.
Trainor is a controversial nominee with a history of advancing partisan gerrymandering and past work for Trump. After the Supreme Court invalidated a key part of the Voting Rights Act, Trainor worked with gerrymandering expert and Republican strategist Thomas Hofeller to successfully implement redistricting maps in Texas that were previously ruled to be discriminatory. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said the following at Tuesday’s hearing:

“He has worked closely with Thomas Hofeller, notorious for masterminding Republican gerrymandering schemes, to redraw maps that significantly disenfranchise minority voters at the local level. Mr. Trainor’s former law firm described him as being ‘intimately involved’ in Texas’s 2003 redistricting, which the Supreme Court deemed in violation of the Voting Rights Act. Mr. Trainor has argued the Voting Rights Act has become a political tool.”

Schumer also quoted Trainor as saying in 2017 that political donations should be anonymous.

“The Republicans have nominated someone who wants to roll back Citizens United, which the overwhelming majority of the American people support, public disclosure of who’s giving,” Schumer said, adding: “It’s amazing.”

Trainor faced pressure to recuse himself from overseeing any campaign finance matters involving Trump, because he served as a legal adviser on Trump’s 2016 campaign team. Ranking Senate Rules and Administration Committee Member Amy Klobuchar pressed Trainor:

“So you’re not going to just recuse yourself from the beginning on a Trump matter?” Klobuchar asked, visibly surprised.
“No, not as a blanket recusal, and I don’t think that there is anyone at the commission currently who has a blanket recusal,” Trainor said. “I think we should all follow the same rules and guidelines.”

Judges finally speak out

U.S District Judge Lynn Adelman, of Wisconsin, published an article in the Harvard Law and Policy Review titled “The Roberts Court's Assault on Democracy.” Adelman takes Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts to task for joining the court’s hard right justices in “undermining American democracy” by “carrying out a sustained assault on the right of poor people and minorities to vote” and “reinforcing the enormous imbalance in wealth and political power that has developed in recent decades.”

He described Roberts' 2005 Senate confirmation testimony as "misleading" and declared that "the Roberts Court has contributed to insuring that the political system in the United States pays little attention to ordinary Americans and responds only to the wishes of a relatively small number of powerful corporations and individuals."

Adelman also attacks President Trump for helping the Republican party continue policies that worsen wealth inequality:

Although he ran as a populist and promised to promote policies that benefited ordinary people, upon taking office Trump almost entirely reversed course. He appointed mostly wealthy far-right Republicans and their supporters to his cabinet and to key positions in his administration… Trump also supported a tax bill that provided big benefits to the country’s largest corporations and wealthiest individuals and virtually nothing to the majority of American taxpayers.
...Because Congressional Republicans depend on a relatively small number of wealthy donors to stay in power, their major public policy goal is to do whatever makes such donors happy.

Last week, another prominent member of the judicial community publicly blasted the Chief Justice: Former Hawaii District Judge for 27 years James Dannenberg submitted his resignation from the Supreme Court Bar to Roberts. In a public letter, Dannenberg criticized Roberts for “allowing the Court to become an ‘errand boy’ for an administration that has little respect for the rule of law.”
“I have been a member of the Supreme Court Bar since 1972, far longer than you have,” Dannenberg’s letter to Roberts begins.

The Court, under your leadership and with your votes, has wantonly flouted established precedent. Your “conservative” majority has cynically undermined basic freedoms by hypocritically weaponizing others… More than a score of decisions during your tenure have overturned established precedents—some more than forty years old– and you voted with the majority in most. There is nothing “conservative” about this trend. This is radical “legal activism” at its worst.
...The only constitutional freedoms ultimately recognized may soon be limited to those useful to wealthy, Republican, White, straight, Christian, and armed males— and the corporations they control. This is wrong. Period. This is not America.
...I no longer have respect for you or your majority, and I have little hope for change. I can’t vote you out of office because you have life tenure, but I can withdraw whatever insignificant support my Bar membership might seem to provide.

Important court rulings

McGahn and border wall
The full bench of the powerful D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals announced on Friday that it will rehear the House’s appeal for Don McGahn’s testimony, vacating the three-judge panel’s previous ruling that judges can’t resolve subpoena disputes between the executive branch and Congress. Arguments are set for April 28.
The same court will also take on the House’s challenge of Trump’s emergency declaration to use over $6 billion of federal funds to fund his southern border wall even though Congress only appropriated $1.375 billion. Trump-appointed judge Trevor McFadden dismissed the House’s initial lawsuit last year.
Mueller’s grand jury
In a 2-1 ruling, a panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit ruled that the Justice Department must allow Congress access to secret material collected by Mueller’s grand jury in its Russian interference investigation. Judges Judith Rogers and Thomas Griffith - Clinton and W. Bush appointees, respectively - found that the House’s impeachment investigation is a legal judicial process that exempts Congress from secrecy rules that typically shield grand jury materials. The Appeals Court decision can be appealed to the Supreme Court.
Trump appointee Judge Neomi Rao dissented, saying the House did have legal grounds to ask the court to enforce the subpoena since the impeachment investigation has ended. Rao has taken Trump’s side in virtually every case she’s heard.

it’s hard not to see the trap Rao has built around Congress. Her Mazars opinion claims that Congress has only one path it can use to investigate President Trump. Then, when Congress traveled down the very same path that Rao identified in Mazars, Judge Rao invents a new limit — suggesting that Congress may only get one shot at an impeachment inquiry. Moreover, as Tatel suggests in the Mazars majority opinion, Rao appears to have invented the constitutional limit she placed on congressional investigations out of thin air.
The Atlantic’s David Frum wrote that Rao’s Mazars dissent was “wild talk that would shut down almost all congressional investigations.” Maybe that’s the point — at least as long as Trump is in the White House.

Food stamp cuts
Friday evening, U.S. District Court Judge Beryl Howell issued an injunction preventing the Trump administration from implementing a rule change that would force nearly 700,000 Americans off food stamps.

"Especially now, as a global pandemic poses widespread health risks, guaranteeing that government officials at both the federal and state levels have flexibility to address the nutritional needs of residents and ensure their well-being through programs like SNAP, is essential," Howell wrote.

Trump cases

The Washington Post reported that District Court Judge Lorna Schofield ordered Trump and his three adult children to “search through 15 years of business records for materials that could inform a lawsuit alleging they profited by promoting a marketing scam targeting vulnerable investors.”

Trump is being sued by four people who say they were duped into joining the multilevel marketing company ACN years ago because of his endorsement. The suit characterizes ACN as a pyramid scheme and accuses Trump of having made misleading claims as a paid pitchman prior to his presidency. All four say they suffered financially as a result.
...In this case, unlike in others, he has not asserted presidential immunity as a defense, and his legal team has already turned over a number of documents.

Atlantic City officials announced they will soon be filing an injunction in Superior Court to demolish the Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino tower because it is an “imminent hazard.” The city’s mayor, Mary Small, told the press that chunks of the building’s concrete and stucco facade are actively raining onto nearby streets.

“We could have had a fatality,” Small said. “Things will not be tolerated in the city of Atlantic City.”

The crumbling building has been owned by billionaire and Trump-ally Carl Icahn since 2016, though it has been closed since 2014.
Icahn endorsed Trump for president in 2016 and financially supported his campaign. Icahn also served as special economic adviser on financial regulation to Trump briefly in 2017, leaving amid concerns of conflicts of interest. In one of many concerning incidents, it was reported that stock for CVR Energy, in which Icahn has 82% ownership, doubled after President Trump's election, increasing $455 million in value.

Don’t miss: Teen models, powerful men and private dinners: when Trump hosted Look of the Year. “In the early 90s, Donald Trump judged the world’s biggest modelling competition - since hit by allegations of abuse… The stories we have heard suggest that Casablancas, and some of the men in his orbit, used the contest to engage in sexual relationships with vulnerable young models. Some of these allegations amount to sexual harassment, abuse or exploitation of teenage girls; others are more accurately described as rape.”

Trump profiting off presidency: Week 164

CNN: Hotels, clubs and restaurants owned by Trump or bearing his name have billed various federal agencies and personnel more than $1 million since he became the Republican nominee for president...About half of the documented expenses involve the U.S. Secret Service, which has been charged more than $600,000 by various Trump properties between September 2016 and August 2019.
CREW: Taxpayers paid President Trump’s Doonbeg resort $15,144.94 for Secret Service lodging during Vice President Mike Pence’s September 2019 trip to Ireland… We can now say definitively that Pence’s detour not only cost taxpayers extra due to large transportation costs, but also that the bill subsidized one of Trump’s struggling businesses.
CREW: On March 7, less than two weeks after President Trump returned from an official visit to India, the business he still owns and profits from made an announcement: it would now ship Trump-branded products to India. This appears to be a clear violation of the Trump family’s pledge of no new foreign business during the Trump presidency, and an invitation for corruption... India is joined on the announcement by Canada, the United Kingdom, Ireland, Scotland (which we must note is still technically part of the United Kingdom) and Germany.
ProPublica: The Trump Organization paid bribes, through middlemen, to New York City tax assessors to lower its property tax bills for several Manhattan buildings in the 1980s and 1990s, according to five former tax assessors and city employees as well as a former Trump Organization employee. Two of the five city employees said they personally took bribes to lower the assessment on a Trump property; the other three said they had indirect knowledge of the payments.
New York Times summarized by HuffPo: President Donald Trump’s campaign manager is quietly channeling money to Eric Trump’s wife, Lara Trump, and Donald Trump Jr.’s girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle… The family benefits are linked to a network of politically connected private companies — operating with the support and help of Trump son-in-law Jared Kushner — that have charged roughly $75 million since 2017 to the Trump reelection campaign, the Republican National Committee and other Republican clients

States, elections, and environment

Ecowatch: A federal judge in Alaska ruled late Wednesday against a Trump administration plan to open 1.8 million acres of America's largest national forest to logging. The Forest Service plan targeted part of the Tongass National Forest on Prince of Wales Island.
Press release: The Center for Biological Diversity sued the Trump administration today for failing to decide whether 241 plants and animals across the country — from the Midwest’s golden-winged warbler to Venus flytraps in the Carolinas — should be protected under the Endangered Species Act. The lawsuit, filed in district court in Washington, D.C., is one of the largest ever under the Act and seeks to undo years of illegal inaction by the Trump administration.
NYT: A New York man who threatened to kill Representative Ilhan Omar in a hate-filled call to her office was sentenced to a year and a day in prison… Mr. Carlineo admitted to making the threatening call, and described himself as a patriot who loved Mr. Trump and hated “radical Muslims in our government,” according to the criminal complaint.
ProPublica: The Republican National Committee has paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to contractors closely connected to the organization’s chairwoman, Ronna McDaniel. One contract went to her husband’s insurance company. Two others went to businesses whose executives recently donated to Ronna for Chair, a largely inactive political action committee that McDaniel controls.
CNN and NYT: Infowars founder and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones was arrested in Texas on a charge of driving while intoxicated… [Also,] The New York State attorney general has issued a cease-and-desist order to Alex Jones, the conservative radio host, alarmed by false claims on his website that his diet supplements and toothpaste could be used to fight the coronavirus.

Immigration news

Politico: Robert Redfield, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said Tuesday he was unaware of any indication from his agency that physical barriers along America’s borders would help halt the spread of the coronavirus in the U.S. — contradicting an assertion President Donald Trump made earlier in the day.
The Guardian: Doctors are concerned the spread of coronavirus to the US’s prison-like immigration detention centers is inevitable and will hit a system blighted by overcrowding and medical negligence… Dr Josiah Rich, an epidemiologist at Brown University, said one tool the US government has to prevent the spread of coronavirus is to release some of the 43,990 people in immigration detention, while their legal cases are being processed. People are held in these detention centers for civil immigration violations, not criminal charges, and the government can release them unless they are considered a danger to the community.
NPR: The U.S. Supreme Court delivered the Trump administration another win on one of its signature immigration policies on Wednesday, allowing it to continue the controversial "Remain in Mexico" policy across the entire southern border. The policy, officially called the Migrant Protection Protocols, requires asylum seekers to wait in Mexico for their day in U.S. immigration court. That has led to roughly 60,000 migrants getting sent back across the border since MPP was first implemented in January 2019.
NPR: Hundreds of asylum-seekers who reach the Texas-Mexico border aren't getting a chance to make their case in U.S. immigration court. Instead, the migrants — mostly women and children — are put on planes to Guatemala and told to ask for asylum in that country.
CNN: In explosive audio obtained through the work of a leading human rights group and released by CNN, a Trump administration attorney is heard finally admitting what experts and advocates have been insisting from the start: Remain in Mexico, the administration policy forcing tens of thousands of vulnerable asylum-seekers to wait for their U.S. immigration court dates in Mexico, is in fact dangerous.
- “I think what I’m hearing from the government is, and I’ll be honest, I don’t like it,” the judge said, according to the audio. “What I’m hearing is, that well everybody has to take that risk and that chance, and you get kidnapped, you get kidnapped, that’s the risk you take for being in Mexico, and wanting to apply for asylum here in the United States … I don’t think it’s humane. But we’re talking about human beings and lives. It’s not a piece of paper in my opinion. And I really don’t like what I just heard.”
Washington Post: Pregnant woman dies after falling from border wall, a sign of migrants’ desperation… A year ago, during the height of the family migration surge, the couple probably would have tried to turn themselves in to seek asylum, he said. But an array of new restrictions imposed by the Trump administration is driving border-crossers to take more risks, migrant advocates say.

Twitch sued for $25m over "suggestive" streamers Alinity, Pokimane, more

AAR - Sensei Snacks. 25 July 2020.

Cribs: Maddox edition

Oh hi, I didn't see you there. My name's George, but you probably know me by my pen-name, Maddox. If you hang around Club Cobra on transgender Wednesdays, you might also know me as Heather S. I have an afternoon residency there where I perform burlesque dance routines to the songs of Doug from Hoobastank, and hopefully inspire him to write a few new ones as well. I'm generally the subject of half of the tracks on any given Hoobastank album. That song The Letter was about a letter that I wrote to a former girlfriend after I ended the relationship with her. You remember Losing My Grip from The Scorpion King soundtrack? That was also about the same girl after she dumped... I mean after I split up with her. Remember Me was based on an email I sent to my publisher, Simon & Schuster, after they stopped taking my calls and blocked my number. A funny story: I saw Schuster on Hollywood Boulevard a few days after I sent the email and he completely ghosted me.
Anyway, you've reached my bedroom. This is where the magic happens, baby. No, I didn't attend Hogwarts, but I do have a wand, he, he. That's three flaccid inches of lumpy Armenian pig iron you're looking staring at.
What's that?
You're a prospective buyer here to the view the property. My nakedness is making you question your heterosexuality. Yes, of course, I will put on some clothes, but first let me give you the grand tour:
https://i.imgur.com/UZNZsf5.jpg
1. Shark wall decals
These are actual dead sharks that my enemies tossed onto my lawn in drive-by shark attacks, which were a misguided attempt to intimidate me. Little did they know that, in my Armenian motherland, shark pressing is a national hobby / sport. The best shark pressers can name their salary at one of the top teams in the Hrazdan Cement Shark Pressing Premier League, as long as that price in under 208 US dollars per month, or 58858342.4 units of my own made-up currency, The Madbux, at current levels of inflation.
I dragged the fish carcasses inside before my neighbours could steal them from me. For the next six months I stored them in the communal area under teetering stacks of unsold copies of my last book, 'F*ck Whales', that my publisher forwarded to me. It was like a literal game of the Armenian version of paper, rock, scissors – shark, whale, whaling boat. My decision to ignore the complaints of my housemates and the repeated threats by my landlord to evict me if I didn't remove the dead sharks from the property, paid off in the end. Now I have these decorative conversation pieces, the most commonly asked question being: “Where is that nauseating stench of dead fish coming from?”
I used to own four pressed wall sharks. One night this loud Greek guy called Asterios, who I used to hang out with online, called to tell me that he was flying from New York to L.A. to raid my fridge. Sadly he also ate two of the sharks.
2. Handmade cardboard night-stand
I will never forget a piece of advice that my mother imparted to me, seconds before she demanded that I give her money to play the slot machines in a casino owned by the Chinese mafia:
“When it come to websites and home furnishings, you get what you pay for.”
I took my mother's advice very much to heart when I paid $30,000 for this one of a kind cardboard night-stand, designed by the renowned ingénieur en papier, Bernarde Plumnutt. To the non-discerning eye, it might resemble the kind of box that once contained tins of soup, turned upright on one end. However, Bernarde has assured me that it was crafted by the mandibles of a team of wasps that he trained to reinvent cardboard.
Like all geniuses (myself included, he, he) Bernarde imposes exacting standards upon himself and is extremely self-critical. When I visited him to pick-up my finished night-stand, I found it discarded in the trash. It was only after I had fished it out of the dumpster, wiped the condiment stains off the surface and asked him: “Is this the night-stand you made for me?” that he admitted that it was, and requested that he be paid for it immediately in cash. When I visited him again a few days later he appeared to have moved out in a hurry and left no forwarding address.
I love the distressed sticky tape detailling along the top of the stand. You don't see craftsmanship like that any more.
3. Slime comforter
I used to do a podcast with a guy who calls himself Dick Masterson. Later, I found out that he was a rape supremacist so I cut him off. Despite his rape supremacy, a lot of people still think he's cool for some reason. Here's a fact that maybe you don't know about Dick: His real name is something in Spanish. When you translate it into English, it means 'Duck Horror'. He doesn't sound so cool now, does he?
Back when our friendship was on the rocks, Dick suggested a bonding exercise where we would take peyote in the desert so that we could commune with the the ghost of Jim Morrison, who would give us more peyote, along with some spare tickets he had to a safari park on the astral plane, where we could meet our spirit animals, and maybe even feed them and talk to their keepers.
Dick's spirit animal turned out to be a orange monkey with a tiny, scunched-up face, who immediately stole our remaining peyote and scampered up a tree with it to have a vision quest of its own. I was amazed to discover that my spirit animal was the slime creature from the videogame Dragon Quest. I was hoping that it would communicate wisdom and enlightenment, but it just sat there oozing grossly, with a permanent frankfurter grin plastered inanely across its face. Things get a bit hazy after that. I was arrested naked, driving the wrong way along Highland Avenue on a stolen rider mower that I had mistaken for a jet-pack.
To commemorate my vision quest I paid some bedding technicians, who I met loitering outside MIT, $30,000 for this bespoke slime comforter, manufactured entirely from soy in a Japanese laboratory. The reverence that women show when I explain the comforter's spiritual significance to them is heart-warming. More than one girl has told me: “I'm not fucking you anywhere near that thing.”
4. Cuck pole
This chic, open-plan wardrobe is perfect for the cuckold who wants to get closer to the action without actually taking part. No more standing in the dark, peering furtively though a crack in the door. Simply position yourself behind this rack of clothing, and steal as many shameful glances as you want between the sleeves of your jackets, while your girlfriend engages in session after session of vigorous bare-back pounding with the guy who packed her groceries at Walmart.
This set-up has the added benefit of leaving your bottom half exposed. At any moment your girlfriend can glance over at your skinny, bare legs and the shrivelled stub of your pallid genitalia and be reassured that she is making the right decision in terms of fulfilling her sexual needs. It's win-win all round!
5. Armenia National Security Service listening station
One of the many sacrifices that I made for my father's sacrifice entailed allowing the Armenia National Security Service to annex part of my bedroom for use as a listening station. From this base of operations covert operatives gather intelligence that they use to influence American elections and bend the malleable political framework of this decadent, so-called western superpower to the iron will of the east. There is a good reason why you can't spell American without Armenia.
To ward off unwanted scrutiny, the listening station is concealed behind a green stealth curtain which, when drawn, resembles an impenetrable, corrugated green wall. Western nations would gaze with envy upon Armenia's superior camouflage and concealment technology, if only they were able to spot it.

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Alternate History: Woodward gets his Way, An Essay on the Woodward Plan and what Detroit would be Like had the Plan been Implemented.

Leading Picture
https://i.imgur.com/tBFvwfh.jpg
Setting the Scene:
The year is 1805. Detroit has a population of about 1000 people and has only been a part of the United States for two years. Alas, it doesn't take long for things to go horribly wrong, as the entire city burns down this year. Judge Augustus Woodward, the first Judge of the Michigan Territory, creates an ambitious and unique plan to rebuild it.
Summary of what follows:
Ultimately, for various reasons, only a small fraction of Judge Woodward's grand plan was actually implemented. My goal is to attempt to see what Detroit would be like had the Woodward plan been fully carried out, as well as educate about the details of the plan and its history.
If you're just here for the pictures, here is a link to the complete album:
https://imgur.com/a/y5hLS
If you're still with me, without further ado, let's get started.
What was Woodward's plan?
I think it is best to show it in terms of what would change about Detroit as we know it, step by step:
https://imgur.com/a/LjTL1
Key Points of the Woodward Plan

Triangles! The Woodward plan is based upon repeating triangular sections, not the typical rectangular grid.
- Despite this, most of the building plots are still rectangular. Exceptions are the pentagonal ones around Campus Martiuses and the wedge and triangle ones around Grand Circuses
200' wide grand avenues running N-S and E-W. These create a familiar rectangular grid among the madness of the triangles.
- 120' radiating avenues are still pretty wide (for reference Michigan Ave Downtown is ~93' wide including sidewalks)
Parks, parks, and more parks. Each triangular Woodward section has one Grand Circus circle park, one Campus Martius rectangular park, and 8 triangle parks. Because of this, each Campus Martius park has a twin nearby. https://imgur.com/ji0l2Nn

This is nuts, how much of this was actually built?
I've highlighted the buildings that exist in the city today according to the following scheme:

Green = 100% conforming to the Woodward plan
Yellow = Partially conforming to the Woodward plan
Red = Does not conform to the Woodward plan

First, here's the buildings on top of the existing street layout:
https://imgur.com/P2uQaD3
Now, replace that street layout with Woodward's:
https://imgur.com/JRYkclz
Finally, destroy the nonconforming buildings and replace them with conforming buildings:
https://imgur.com/ZOokpeJ
This plan seems crazy, where did Woodward get the idea from?
He was impressed and inspired by Washington D.C. and its diagonal avenues, but Woodward's plan takes it a step further. While Washington D.C. is simply a system of rectangular lots that happens to have diagonal avenues in it, the Woodward plan is a modular system entirely based on triangles that could be added as the city expanded.
Are you saying the spoke roads are not a part of the Woodward Plan?
Yes, this is a common misconception. The only relationship the spoke roads have to the Woodward plan is that they take roads that are part of the Woodward plan and extend them straight for ~40 miles.
Why was so little of the plan implemented?
Firstly, Woodward had limited authority to break up land that was already owned. For example, the government owned the area between Michigan Ave and Jefferson Ave and chose to arrange it in a conventional grid. Additionally, land in parcels perpendicular to the river owned by individuals, like the Brush family and the Beaubien family, could not be broken up and incorporated into the plan.
Secondly, drafting up a city plan takes time and the people of Detroit grew restless as time passed after the devastating fire. The public also disliked the idea of so much public park space. Coupled with a general resistance for change, emnity toward Woodward's plan grew, so much so that others in Michigan's government would try to undo it while he was away. On one such occurrence, Woodward's detractors authorized the land north of Grand Circus park to be sold in rectangular parcels. Despite Woodward's alarm and protests that such a maneuver was illegal, the sale went through in 1817. This killed hope of implementing any more of the Woodward Plan. Part of Woodward's written complaint was as follows: “Nature had destined the city of Detroit to be a great interior emporium, equal, if not superior, to any other on the surface of the … globe. … In such a case that art of man should aid the benevolence of the Creator, and no restricted attachment to the present day or to present interests should induce a permanent sacrifice of ulterior and brilliant prospects.”
And with that, Detroit's chance to develop as a truly one-of-a-kind city passed. The question of "what if" has reigned unchallenged ever since. Until now, that is. Working from Judge Woodward's original plans, I built the city street by street and building by building in Sketchup, creating "Woodward Detroit". I've included some famous Detroit buildings in Woodward Detroit, most of the rest are "filler" buildings meant to give the impression of a complete city. Now, I give you Detroit built per Woodward's own specifications.
Some Aerial Photos and the Skyline
https://imgur.com/tBFvwfh https://imgur.com/Yn4TJyc https://imgur.com/sVuvYse
Transit in Woodward Detroit
I see a lot of discussion around the subreddit about Detroit's transit woes so I did some thinking about transit, both from the present Detroit perspective of auto-dominance and an alternate rail and subway perspective.
Roads
Woodward could not have foreseen the explosive growth Detroit would see, eventually growing to a city of two million. I beilieve it is remarkable that he included 120' and 200' roads when designing the city in 1805; he showed remarkable foresight there that would lend itself well to Detroit's development as Motor City. However, I believe a limitation would show itself in the circle parks. Twelve roads all come together and you're stuck in a giant traffic circle. That sounds like a traffic nighmare.
On an interesting side note, there is nothing special about Woodward Avenue in Woodward Detroit. It isn't even a grand avenue. In present Detroit after the Woodward plan was defeated, people came along afterward and extended Fort, Michigan, Grand River, Woodward, Gratiot, and Jefferson into the "spokes" we know today. Ironically, the defeat of the Woodward Plan allowed Woodward to become a household name by having his name attached to the major thoroughfare of M-1.
While I have depicted the medians in the grand avenues as solid, there is no reason they couldn't be crossed with streets as they are presently on Washington Blvd, for example.
The layout of one way streets in the small Woodward portion of present Detroit gives a clue what the layout in Woodward Detroit could be like. The circle park road is one way, like a giant roundabout, then the outer concentric circular roads are also one way in alternating directions.
https://imgur.com/1dB9WLT
Writing my own fantasy history, we'll say that the parks contributed to traffic in Woodward Detroit becoming the worst in the country by the 1950s. Citizens of Woodward Detroit unified in such an uproar at the idea running highways through their unique city that the city was forced to look at more efficient ways of moving people...
Rail / Subway
The 200' wide grand avenues leave ample room for light rail in the medians, one track each way. However, unlike in present Detroit, where roads run dozens of miles without interruption, the grand avenues of Woodward Detroit are full of parks. One possible course of action is to use the Campus Martius style parks as stations and the Circle parks as interchanges for the trains.
https://imgur.com/WDPDvAz
A second option is more familiar: spokes. These lines could be on the surface or a subway system, but I call them "the subway" in the rest of the post, so we'll go with that. I like this spoke option because it solidifies Grand Circus park as the center of the city, with subway lines stretching out to the suburbs in a similar fashion to the spoke roads today. I don't know what the Grand Circus park station would look like, with the logistics of six subway lines all intersecting there, but I'm sure the result would be a marvel of the transit world. I chose to leave it to the imagination and have them all mash together, beacuse such a station is beyond my skill to create.
https://imgur.com/lCh1UWQ
Thirdly, the "why not both?" option ensures ample transit coverage.
https://imgur.com/sd5R4Z6
Now, with all of these lines, subways, and stations, it seems we need some way to move people around between them. Hence, the People Mover takes its place in Woodward Detroit. The People Mover can finally serve its intended purpose of moving people between different transit lines.
https://imgur.com/51MRHuq
Both sets of rail and the people mover create a robust transit system.
https://imgur.com/27WzjJ9
Looking at specific famous Detroit buildings / locations
Renaissance Center Since the unique part of the Woodward plan applies to only above Jefferson Ave, the Renaissance Center can stay exactly where it is in present Detroit.
https://imgur.com/VpLTfFZ
One Detroit Center, One Woodward Ave, McKinsey, Crowne Plaza
https://imgur.com/F4G5vis
Penobscot Building, Guardian Building, 211 Fort St.
https://imgur.com/OtgdTft
Campus Martius, First National Building, One Campus Martius, One Kennedy Square The first two buildings conform to the Woodward plan, One Kennedy Square was reshaped.
https://imgur.com/lXWFtS7
Monroe Block, First National, Cadillac Tower, Cadillac Square Cadillac Square is not a square any longer; instead it is just a part of Michigan Grand Ave. I've included a concept for the upcoming development on the Monroe block.
https://imgur.com/VoGyaiV
Hudson's Site Based upon the latest renderings, though the tower of apartments is more inspired by the first rendering. Standing 800' tall to its roof, this new skycraper is a focal point for present Detroit and Woodward Detroit alike.
https://imgur.com/z6NuGkB
View from top of David Whitney Building
https://imgur.com/9D9HaWA
Book Skyscraper In my made up history, the Woodward plan allowed Detroit's boom and surge to reach even greater heights before the Depression, enabling the construction of grand plans that were shelved in present Detroit because of the Depression. One such building is the 82 Story Book skyscraper attached to the Book Tower we know and love, standing about 900' tall!
https://imgur.com/27v3W27
Grand Circus Park Grand Circus Park would be quite a sight, to be standing in the center of the full circle with all twelve lots occupied by towers (though I didn't have the heart to remove the eternal parking lot at Adams and Madison (apparently now called Aretha Franklin Way)). In this alternate history, it is the transit hub of Detroit, served by six subway lines and the People Mover.
https://imgur.com/6hCgcTL
Water Board Building
https://imgur.com/VOHe101
Detroit Library
https://imgur.com/cssXTnA
Michigan Central Station
https://imgur.com/ntN6jHM https://imgur.com/MPXMKgi
Greektown / Casino
https://imgur.com/hQICX6D
Fisher Building
Another Detroit building that was prevented from reaching its full potential by the Depression. The Fisher Building we know today is less than a third of the original plan. You can read more about that in my post here: https://www.reddit.com/Detroit/comments/5vu97d/alternate_history_the_fisher_building_is_finished/?st=j89fj0h5&sh=928a4c31
In my alternate history, the Fisher brothers, seeking to cement their legacy with the largest commercial building in the world, finally convinced the city to allow the construction of their tower inside a circle park, ensuring that it is visible as the terminating vista on 12 streets. The Albert Kahn firm spared no expense and created a lavish limestone 60 story tower flanked by two 30 story towers, crowned by gold leaf roofs and all joined together by a U shaped, three-story lobby filled with decadent gold leaf, bronze, frescos, and murals. Finished just months before the 1929 Great Depression, it stands as a nationally-recognized high point of Art Deco architecture.
https://imgur.com/Bk17fXV
(Aside: How tall is it? There is a problem with the scale of the Fisher Building model. The width is correct at 800' and the footprint actually does just barely fit inside a circle park. However, the roof height (not including spire) of the 30 story part is 301' in the model while the actual roof height is 418.3'. Applying this scale factor would put the actual height of the 60 story roof at 938.3'.)
Riverfront Towers, Cobo, Joe Louis
https://imgur.com/v0WPDBn
Comerica Park and Ford Field
I experimented to see if these stadiums could fit inside circle parks.
https://imgur.com/AtGJUJR
https://imgur.com/g1n75ZF
Views
Aerial Views and Views from the tops of buildings
https://imgur.com/QyRFaqZ https://imgur.com/UE4TfN1 https://imgur.com/LpIYRNT https://imgur.com/NtHsBd8 https://imgur.com/U6D40h0 https://imgur.com/DhQs0Yl https://imgur.com/v7V2uz4 https://imgur.com/Wf6gOjm
Matched Photo
I attempted to match an aerial photo I found https://imgur.com/N7tf2lR http://banana1015.com/files/2016/03/Spencer-Platt-Getty-Images.jpg
Bonus
Woodward Detroit's one-of-a-kind layout has created a close knit city with an atmosphere like no other, with world leading architecture, innovation, and a robust transit system. Naturally, a certain tech company looking for their second HQ chose it as their first choice, claiming "there weren't ever really any other options." I had some fun making a circle park and its surrounding buildings into one unified HQ complex. And it does lie on one of the subway lines.
https://imgur.com/3lY5Rtn
Conclusion & Sources
For further reading about the history of the Woodward plan, I recommend this excellent three part article, from which I sourced much of my information:
http://detroiturbanism.blogspot.com/2016/04/the-woodward-plan-part-i-origins.html
Some information also came from here, a shorter summary focusing on the plan's downfall:
https://www.metrotimes.com/news-hits/archives/2015/06/01/the-detroit-that-never-was-how-the-woodward-plan-died-197-years-ago
In conclusion, once I learned about Woodward and his grand plan for Detroit, I voraciously devoured any information I could find about it. The combination of its true uniqueness among urban designs and the fact that just enough of the plan was built to stimulte curiousity but not enough to indicate what the whole city would look like sent me on this path. My goal was to create what Woodward could not and provide an alternate vision for what Detroit could have been. I greatly enjoyed following Woodward's own procedure to lay out a section and then populating with all the buildings and details. I am very pleased with the final results and hope you are too. I undertook this project out of passion and interest. I hope you enjoyed reading and that I arranged the content in a clear manner. Thanks for reading!
Acknowledgements
A wonderful tool in Sketchup is the ability to import models created by others. I used this to build more of a connection from my virtual Woodward Detroit to the Detroit we know today and I feel the results of my project would not have been even half as good without them. A big thank you to the following Sketchup users:

City of Detroit: finalcutjoe
Ally building: C M.
Guardian, Penobscot, David Stott, Cadillac Place, Cadillac Tower, Fisher Buildings: wyliepoon (Fisher Building was modified to its "full" version by me)
211 Fort: Jk
One Woodward Ave: Mads P.
First National Building: CS3Design
RenCen: green
Greektown Casino: Luke Potenza
J.L. Hudson Department Store: LateTU
Detroit Library Main Branch: Jim
Ford Field: svr2009/ViperDesigns
Comerica Park, Cobo Center: Google Geo Models
Joe Louis Arena: fsl0811
Michigan Central Station: Mike G.

Also thank you to this reddit post; which fueled my inspiration for this project: https://www.reddit.com/MapPorn/comments/14qgyc/oc_my_map_of_the_1807_woodward_plan_for_the/?st=j89i5z1x&sh=62676319

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AAR - Sensei Snacks. 25 July 2020.

Cribs: Maddox edition

Pretentious Obnoxious Midnight Fedora man

Alternate History: Woodward gets his Way, An Essay on the Woodward Plan and what Detroit would be Like had the Plan been Implemented.

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